Man, I've got Rat stories (regular rats, not us water vermin). Moved into a rat infested house once. Had no furniture at first, so for the first couple of nights I slept on the floor. First night I munched some Tostidos chips and Salsa con Queso, left the rolled-up, half-full bag on the floor next to me, and passed out. Next morning, why, the bag is empty! In the next room, under an old stale afghan, I found some of the pilfered tortilla chips. The rats had been right beside me while I slept, stealing my chips and no doubt sniffing my cheese scented breath...shiver!
Next night I came home to find a big old rat floating dead in the toilet. Suicide? Had he heard my call to the Orkin pest control that morning, and decided to take the, ahem, dignified way out? I'd like to think so. Anyway, nothing ruins an evening quicker than fishing dead rats out of yer toilet bowl.
But, you know, nothing a few green bricks of tasty rat poison didn't fix. Sorry, but rats spread disease, they are foul, nasty things, and must be destroyed.