Dalglish Road

not_nadine said:

Spoiler: JD

JohnDalglish - July 17th, 2011
Flashback - May you stay forever young
Today, Monday 18th July, is Glasgow Fair Monday and it would have been our 38th Anniversary today, at least the one we celebrated most, the anniversary of the night we met, since that was quite completely cosmnic while the date we actually married (5th August) was largely a beaurocratic matter.Glasgow Fair
So here's the story again that I never thought I'd have the balls to write - 'Darling' she said, 'I've never played so well in my life as I'm playing right now!' I was stunned. In the thirty years that we'd been playing, living and loving together she had never once expressed contentment with her ability before. She had got a degree in Classical Guitar some 29 years before, then put away the nylon strung and picked up a Stratocaster, although she'd been specialising in the 12 string for a few years now. But I certainly couldn't argue with her. She was playing like a effin dream! It was an ordinary kind of a Saturday night with the two of us sitting round playing acoustic guitars together with the sound turned off on the TV. We'd just agreed to record a new album for internet release with a working title 'Consenting Adults' and she'd decided that it was going to be an ADULT album and extremely sexually explicit, so we were kicking round old Bessie Smith songs and stuff like that and planned out a writing and recording schedule. After we'd got the album in the can we were off for a summer season playing that ol' rock'n'roll to the lager lout tourists on the Spanish Costa's - very lucrative indeed, if not particularly fulfilling. So we had all our plans in place. God laughs when we make plans, or as our Scottish Bard put it 'The best laid plans o' mice and men gang aft agley' ('gang aft agley' = often get screwed) and as John Lennon remarked 'Life is what happens when you're busy making plans for something else'. And so indeed it was to prove. It had been an ordinary sort of Saturday in all respects really - been to the supermarket, stacked up the cupboards, filled the freezer and all that sort of stuff. Which was just as well, as it would be a long time before I could face a supermarket again. We'd done all the shopping with huge grins on our faces as we'd had a GREAT Friday night. I know that young people tend to think that lovemaking may get stale and mundane after a few years but, let me tell you, it was never like that for us. No, it just got better and better all the time. So we'd had a very inventive and mutually satisfying Friday night, shared with a large tub of Ben and Jerry's chocolate chip ice cream, oh, and a pair of beautiful scarlet, strappy, slinky Manola Blahnik sandals. So we were both in EXTREMELY good moods all day. Our son and his pal were in his room playing loud music and probably smoking grass, and our daughter was out clubbing, and I went to the kitchen to prepare our supper - an Indian buffet with lots of tasty nibbles. 'Don't you think this curry sauce is hellish hot, sweetheart? she said. I didn't particularly so I just shrugged. 'I think I'll just go to bed and read - I've got terrible heartburn' she added, so I just watched TV for an hour or so and then joined her, 'I'm definitely feeling a bit ******, I shouldn't have had that curry' she groaned. After about another hour or so our son took the dog out and then came into our room to see how his mum was. She kind of lurched forward in the bed and said 'I'm not feeling too good son', then she made the most awful sound I've ever heard, fell back on the pillows and her eyes rolled right back in her head. Now I know that it's called the Death Rattle but we didn't know that at the time, and I sincerely hope that you never hear it! I tried mouth-to-mouth as David rushed to the 'phone to the emergency services whom, to their great credit, were there in under seven minutes (we were counting). The paramedics shoo-ed us out the bedroom and tried to resuscitate Anne for twenty minutes or so as David and I stood silently looking at each other and thinking 'Whatthef**k?) Then they rushed her (and me) to the hospital where I was ensconced in an institutional waiting room for what seemed like aeons until a very nice lady doctor came to see me. 'I'm so sorry Mr Dalglish, but I'm afraid your wife's dead'. She went on about massive heart attacks, dead on the spot, couldn't have been saved, didn't suffer etc., but I really wasn't listening any more. I was taken to see my lovely Anne, lying cold and dead on a hospital trolley and just collapsed. My lover, my best friend, my soulmate, the mother of our children, my colleague, my wife, my entire reason for living lying on this hospital trolley. Cold. Dead. And she just thought the curry sauce was too hot! The next few days passed in a tearful blur. Her funeral went well (what a strange phrase that is) and her coffin descended into the depths of the crematorium to the strains of Joan Baez singing Dylan's 'Forever Young', which had been our closing number for some years ever since she'd decided that it was the nicest possible sentiment to leave an audience with - May God bless and keep you always May your wishes all come true May you always do for others And let others do for you' etc. She never lived to see her daughter's 18th birthday. She never even met her daughter-in-law. She never got to finish Dark Tower, although she'd read Wizard and Glass at least ten times and carried in her bag the most battered, disreputable looking copy of it. Held together with sellotape. She was only 49. I was heartbroken and completely devastated, and to a large extent remain so to this day. Excuse me, break for tears. (Takes several deep breaths and continues) Well, the next three years passed and I kept myself as busy as possible, did a lot of gigs and touring, taught Eng Lit in Spain and stuff, but most of all did a great deal of writing. Songs mostly, but factual bits for local papers and magazines and the like and finally, FINALLY, finished the novel that she'd been on at me to write for years called, not unsurprisingly, 'Consenting Adults'. We never got to make the album but at least I wrote the book. I did a lot of reading too, but mostly the words went straight through my eyes then straight out my ass. And I finally learned to be nearly as good a 12 string guitarist as Anne was. But my life was lived in flickery black-and-white. No colour. I guess I became a bit of a recluse, because everything just bored me - I had no-one to talk to. And I've been celibate ever since. Certainly not through lack of offers or any kind of a mission statement, but after thirty years of prime Scottish Aberdeen-Angus steak it's very difficult to look a Big Mac in the eye, if you see what I mean, although that could all change tomorrow for all I know. Or maybe not, I don't really care either way. Sure, the children helped as much as they could (and vice-versa) but at 21 and (almost) 18 they had their own lives, relationships and careers to get on with. And that might have been that. But it wasn't. At Christmas my daughter-in-law's mother (funny how there's no word in the English language for that particular relationship!) gave me Lisey's Story (just published) and I read it through a shed load of tears - but it was enormously cathartic. We all know that Sai King has never personally experienced this kind of loss (and I hope he never does) but believe me, he touched every single base on the subject and left no stone un-turned in his description of EXACTLY what it feels like. Well, then I just had to finish Dark Tower. And then immediately read it again. THEN, I really, really wanted to discuss it with like-minded people and eventually found this site on the internet, as I'm sure you did yourselves. I couldn't believe the warmth of my welcome here, never mind the intelligence and wit from most of you guys and finally, finally, once again felt that I had someone to talk to, people who understood where I was coming from (I'm not going to name you here, but you all know who you are!) and then the colours started seeping back into my monochrome world. So, from reading Lisey's Story through Dark Tower to finally finding you guys, I found a reason to feel like enjoying life again. As Tim Hardin said 'Gave me a reason to believe'. And, of course, I had the wonderful benefit of thirty great years, which is a lot more than most people ever get - I've been very lucky. STEPHEN (AND YOUR WONDERFUL FANS) – THANK YOU FROM THE LENGTHS AND DEPTHS OF MY SOUL YOU PUT THE COLOUR BACK INTO MY LIFE!!! If you've stayed with me this long, then thankee very much. I know it was a bit long but I don't honestly see how I could have cut it, do you? 'So that's all right then'. And although today is my anniversary, I won't be celebrating. Long days and pleasant nights

I have saved this part of a post from JD. It touched me so. It's very sad.

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Sundrop said:

I saved them all..... I also saved all the personal conversations JD shared with just me. I won't be sharing any of them here, though.....I'm selfish that way.

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Lepplady said:

Not even the public posts?

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Sundrop said:

What I have are his original un edited copies, with footnotes and personal comments.....posting them would violate a promise I made to JD to keep certain matters private.

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Lepplady said:

I respect a promise. But if you can't share them, I wish we hadn't been teased with the thought of 'em.

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Sundrop said:

I never teased anything. I stated specifically that I wouldn't share them.

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Sundrop said:

I never teased anything. I stated specifically that I wouldn't share them.

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~Ally~ said:

I agree, you never teased anything...you merely stated that you still has JD's "unedited" words in your possession, and as a dear friend of his that is something you will always cherish and respect enough to keep personal.

I looked in here because JD has been on my mind with it recently being the anniversary of his passing. Sorry, but I don't like the tone this thread is starting to take. Sunny has every right to hold onto something that is very dear to her heart! She shared a special friendship with JD that few people are privileged to experience...and she should not feel pressurised to share that. I mean no offence, but anybody who had ever personally taken comfort in JD's words, or experienced his knowledge, wisdom, and kindness directly would not feel the need to be searching for remnants of his words here, because they would already be held in your memories and hearts. Always look to the stars people!

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~Ally~ said:

I agree, you never teased anything...you merely stated that you still have JD's "unedited" words in your possession, and as a dear friend of his that is something you will always cherish and respect enough to keep personal.

I looked in here because JD has been on my mind with it recently being the anniversary of his passing. Sorry, but I don't like the tone this thread is starting to take. Sunny has every right to hold onto something that is very dear to her heart! She shared a special friendship with JD that few people are privileged to experience...and she should not feel pressurised to share that. I mean no offence, but anybody who had ever personally taken comfort in JD's words, or experienced his knowledge, wisdom, and kindness directly would not feel the need to be searching for remnants of his words here, because they would already be held in your memories and hearts. Always look to the stars people!

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blunthead said:

I've got ?????????, but not all of Dalglish Road.

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Sundrop said:

Thanks for getting it, Ally.....and for stating nicely what would have come out as harsh and blunt if I had tried.
It's so good to see you again.
Love and daisies to you ♥

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Sundrop said:

Thanks for getting it, Ally.....and for stating nicely what would have come out as harsh and blunt if I had tried.
It's so good to see you again.
Love and daisies to you ♥

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blunthead said:

I've got ?????????, but not all of Dalglish Road.

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SHEEMIEE said:

smiley faces aren't working ((hug))

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mjs9153 said:

Understand where Stan is coming from, I was pretty new to the old board,just had time for greetings from JD,then he passed ..but I did read some of his writing, and it was great.. Wish it was still available for new and old members to read..

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