Dear Gabby,

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fljoe0

Cantre Member
Apr 5, 2008
15,859
71,642
62
120 miles S of the Pancake/Waffle line
Hi!

A thread to ask questions and get some advice.

Me first. :p

When I'm in the teachers lounge and two or more teachers/TA/staff are talking about politics/religion and they say stoopid stuff I disagree with, what should I do?
(Please remember, I work as a SUB!)

Thank you!

Just sip your coffee and stay quiet. ;-D

mug15oz-whi-z1-t-super-hero-bernie-sanders-2016.png
 

skimom2

Just moseyin' through...
Oct 9, 2013
15,683
92,168
USA
Hi!

A thread to ask questions and get some advice.

Me first. :p

When I'm in the teachers lounge and two or more teachers/TA/staff are talking about politics/religion and they say stoopid stuff I disagree with, what should I do?
(Please remember, I work as a SUB!)

Thank you!
Difficult because you're a sub. If you were a regular employee, usually, I'd say to ignore them, but there are limits, based on time, place, and volume. If they're in a place where kids can overhear their stupidity, a quiet reminder that politics and religion are hot topics and kids do not need to hear their opinions is warranted. If you were in a place where you could not get away and they were hurting someone else, I would (and have) say something as well. Years ago, when I worked for the gov't, I was seated at a bank of computers and assigned to a single computer. The machines on the other side of the room went down and the people from those computers were seated wherever they could slot in on our side. One woman in particular, seated right in front of me, was a very masculine lesbian. The women behind me were being HORRIBLE, saying just foul things. In that case, I did turn around and tell them that they were entitled to their opinions, but I did not have to listen to them. The next few weeks were pretty bad (tense, and of course I was rumored to be the woman's lover--lol), but it was worth it to shut them up. Sometimes you have to stand on your principles.
 

Pucker

We all have it coming, kid
May 9, 2010
2,906
6,242
62
Not speaking one's mind can often be the more prudent course, but it's important to remember that pressure often builds slowly, and the lunatics' neighbors always seem to remember them as the kind of people who were very quiet and kept to themselves.

:hopelessness:
 

arista

First time caller long time listener
Jul 10, 2006
12,360
45,658
123
Indiana, USA
Dear Gabby-I have a (friend) that has a coworker that is really starting to annoy her. Thankfully, the friend can avoid her most of the time. However, it seems that no matter the conversation-Whatever she is saying is either expected to be funny(it rarely ever hits that mark) or totally insensitive to others. Is there any other way to respectfully inform her that she is not funny, other than trying level headed best to avoid her altogether. Thanks asking for ahem a friend.
 

Out of Order

Sign of the Times
Feb 9, 2011
29,007
162,154
New Hampster
Dear Gabby-I have a (friend) that has a coworker that is really starting to annoy her. Thankfully, the friend can avoid her most of the time. However, it seems that no matter the conversation-Whatever she is saying is either expected to be funny(it rarely ever hits that mark) or totally insensitive to others. Is there any other way to respectfully inform her that she is not funny, other than trying level headed best to avoid her altogether. Thanks asking for ahem a friend.

Type and print out an anonymous note and leave it on her desk?
 

TheRedQueen

And Crazy Housewife
Dec 3, 2014
1,346
8,164
36
Fernley, NV.
Dear Gabby:

I've never been what you could call "normal". Words like "weird", "OCD", "MPD", and bipolar have been used to describe me for years.

And the people throwing these terms in my face don't even know the half of it. Living inside my head is hell. But I don't know if I'm actually "sick", or just really, really weird.

Should I see a head-doctor? Or just say screw it and hope that I'm fine?
 

kingricefan

All-being, keeper of Space, Time & Dimension.
Jul 11, 2006
30,011
127,446
Spokane, WA
Dear Gabby:

I've never been what you could call "normal". Words like "weird", "OCD", "MPD", and bipolar have been used to describe me for years.

And the people throwing these terms in my face don't even know the half of it. Living inside my head is hell. But I don't know if I'm actually "sick", or just really, really weird.

Should I see a head-doctor? Or just say screw it and hope that I'm fine?
'Screw it.'
 

GNTLGNT

The idiot is IN
Jun 15, 2007
87,651
358,754
62
Cambridge, Ohio
Dear Gabby:

I've never been what you could call "normal". Words like "weird", "OCD", "MPD", and bipolar have been used to describe me for years.

And the people throwing these terms in my face don't even know the half of it. Living inside my head is hell. But I don't know if I'm actually "sick", or just really, really weird.

Should I see a head-doctor? Or just say screw it and hope that I'm fine?
...hmmmm, if you feel fine in your own skin and there's nothing being sacrificed on an altar of monkey bones-flip the middle finger and enjoy life!....
 

GNTLGNT

The idiot is IN
Jun 15, 2007
87,651
358,754
62
Cambridge, Ohio
Dear Gabby-I have a (friend) that has a coworker that is really starting to annoy her. Thankfully, the friend can avoid her most of the time. However, it seems that no matter the conversation-Whatever she is saying is either expected to be funny(it rarely ever hits that mark) or totally insensitive to others. Is there any other way to respectfully inform her that she is not funny, other than trying level headed best to avoid her altogether. Thanks asking for ahem a friend.
...tell your friend...nudge, nudge, wink, wink....that putting it right to the co-worker that's she's annoying and insensitive is the only way to handle it...tact has no place here...after all, it ain't like yer gonna lose a friendship....
 

danie

I am whatever you say I am.
Feb 26, 2008
9,760
60,662
60
Kentucky
Dear Gabby:

I've never been what you could call "normal". Words like "weird", "OCD", "MPD", and bipolar have been used to describe me for years.

And the people throwing these terms in my face don't even know the half of it. Living inside my head is hell. But I don't know if I'm actually "sick", or just really, really weird.

Should I see a head-doctor? Or just say screw it and hope that I'm fine?

Dearest Dark Krystl,
You are a sweet girl, a wonderful mother and wife. You are nothing but nice on this board. Who wants normal? I'm betting those you love most don't. I have come to see that being 'weird' is what suits me most. Now, when people think I'm weird, I view it as a compliment. I like what I like, I do what I do, and I'm happy with that. As long as you're not hurting others, and you like you, then I need to hear you shout, "Screw It!"
You are beautiful in your really really weird way. That's all.

 

Pucker

We all have it coming, kid
May 9, 2010
2,906
6,242
62
Dear Gabby-I have a (friend) that has a coworker that is really starting to annoy her. Thankfully, the friend can avoid her most of the time. However, it seems that no matter the conversation-Whatever she is saying is either expected to be funny(it rarely ever hits that mark) or totally insensitive to others. Is there any other way to respectfully inform her that she is not funny, other than trying level headed best to avoid her altogether. Thanks asking for ahem a friend.

This might be one of those situations where you ... errrrr ... I mean your friend ... should simply look at her co-worker deadpan -- maybe tilt her head just a little bit to one side like she might be confused -- and don't say anything until she walks away. With any luck, enough of this will make your friend's co-worker as uncomfortable as your friend is, and even if it doesn't, it should send a "crazy" vibe that will keep the annoying person out of effective range as much as possible.

Everybody wins.
 

TheRedQueen

And Crazy Housewife
Dec 3, 2014
1,346
8,164
36
Fernley, NV.

Dearest Dark Krystl,
You are a sweet girl, a wonderful mother and wife. You are nothing but nice on this board. Who wants normal? I'm betting those you love most don't. I have come to see that being 'weird' is what suits me most. Now, when people think I'm weird, I view it as a compliment. I like what I like, I do what I do, and I'm happy with that. As long as you're not hurting others, and you like you, then I need to hear you shout, "Screw It!"
You are beautiful in your really really weird way. That's all.

Stuff's about to get real...pass on by, and I won't be offended. ;-D


Danie, you are a wonderful person and I am so glad to know you!

But GNT asked the perfect question; do I feel comfortable in my own skin? In a word, no. I never have. And to repeat myself a little, life inside my head is absolute hell. There's a reason those labels have been slapped on me. And JD was one of the first people to do it. He had a way of putting it that didn't make it seem like an insult, but still.
I haven't hurt anyone physically, (yet) but I've caused a lot of emotional pain over the years. Usually, I turn my frustrations and loathing inwards, where no one can see.
But my thought processes are finally getting bad enough that I'm wondering if I should stop trying to handle things alone, I'm wondering if all those people with their labels are right, and I'm wondering how much longer I can hang on to myself. It's a scary place to be, made even more frightening by my fear of chemical medications and head-doctors that only want me in their office because I'm a paycheck. I'm scared to talk about the things that go on inside my head, because what if they put me in the nuthouse? What if they take my son away? What if my husband can't handle being with a crazy person? What if my son grows up damaged because of me?


And how in the hell am I supposed to live the next sixty years like this? It's hard enough getting through a single day.

I have my good days, don't get me wrong. My husband has brought more peace to my life than I ever thought possible. But on my bad days, I treat him like crap. And he doesn't deserve that. He's an excellent husband, the best I could ask for, and he deserves to be treated like a King. That more than anything else is why I'm finally contemplating getting help.

Anyway, enough of my silly self. I'm probably obsessing about nothing. Thank you for your kind words, and for being such a great person. It's people like you that make me think humans aren't so bad, after all! :biggrin2:
 

danie

I am whatever you say I am.
Feb 26, 2008
9,760
60,662
60
Kentucky
Stuff's about to get real...pass on by, and I won't be offended. ;-D


Danie, you are a wonderful person and I am so glad to know you!

But GNT asked the perfect question; do I feel comfortable in my own skin? In a word, no. I never have. And to repeat myself a little, life inside my head is absolute hell. There's a reason those labels have been slapped on me. And JD was one of the first people to do it. He had a way of putting it that didn't make it seem like an insult, but still.
I haven't hurt anyone physically, (yet) but I've caused a lot of emotional pain over the years. Usually, I turn my frustrations and loathing inwards, where no one can see.
But my thought processes are finally getting bad enough that I'm wondering if I should stop trying to handle things alone, I'm wondering if all those people with their labels are right, and I'm wondering how much longer I can hang on to myself. It's a scary place to be, made even more frightening by my fear of chemical medications and head-doctors that only want me in their office because I'm a paycheck. I'm scared to talk about the things that go on inside my head, because what if they put me in the nuthouse? What if they take my son away? What if my husband can't handle being with a crazy person? What if my son grows up damaged because of me?


And how in the hell am I supposed to live the next sixty years like this? It's hard enough getting through a single day.

I have my good days, don't get me wrong. My husband has brought more peace to my life than I ever thought possible. But on my bad days, I treat him like crap. And he doesn't deserve that. He's an excellent husband, the best I could ask for, and he deserves to be treated like a King. That more than anything else is why I'm finally contemplating getting help.

Anyway, enough of my silly self. I'm probably obsessing about nothing. Thank you for your kind words, and for being such a great person. It's people like you that make me think humans aren't so bad, after all! :biggrin2:
DK,
I am rereading and thinking on this. I will be back later to talk to you.
 

mal

content
Jun 23, 2007
4,714
27,243
61
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
Dear Gabby-I have a (friend) that has a coworker that is really starting to annoy her. Thankfully, the friend can avoid her most of the time. However, it seems that no matter the conversation-Whatever she is saying is either expected to be funny(it rarely ever hits that mark) or totally insensitive to others. Is there any other way to respectfully inform her that she is not funny, other than trying level headed best to avoid her altogether. Thanks asking for ahem a friend.
Be upfront and honest and the truth shall set you free. Be tactful and caring, knowing that there will be a little bit of hurt in there somewhere. If I as a d*ck all my life and found out when I was fifty I'd most likely wish that someone had pointed it out when I was twenty-five.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

mal

content
Jun 23, 2007
4,714
27,243
61
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
Dear Gabby:

I've never been what you could call "normal". Words like "weird", "OCD", "MPD", and bipolar have been used to describe me for years.

And the people throwing these terms in my face don't even know the half of it. Living inside my head is hell. But I don't know if I'm actually "sick", or just really, really weird.

Should I see a head-doctor? Or just say screw it and hope that I'm fine?
In this bizzaro absurd world it's the weirdos who are the norm. Just keep on keeping on.