Do you ever?

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DiO'Bolic

DiO'Bolic

Not completely obtuse
Nov 14, 2013
22,864
129,998
Poconos, PA
Grandpa said:
I played football in high school. Never was as good as my fantasies wanted me to be. I mean, not even close. I was one of the guys that got sent in only when the game was hopelessly out of reach.

So decades later, I'm in my early fifties (ah, the good old days), and my former Marine son invites me to play football in the park with him and his buds. Every weekend, they played a tackle-but-no-sacks game. Foolishly, I say yes.

He and I were on the same team. I caught a pass, shrugged off a tackle, and ran for a TD, and not my only one that day. A guy caught a pass, figured he could straight-arm me away, but he was wrong, and he ate some dirt. I had an interception. And other things where I just had a ton of fun and schooled the young men. The stars were strangely but wondrously in alignment. My son talked to me after the game and told me one of the opposing players had come up to him after one play and said, "Dude, geezer's got wheels."

Music to my ears. And the term "geezer's got wheels" became part of the family lore and remains to this day.

The next day, I could barely move, and I never played again. But although unorganized and pretty unstructured and entirely meaningless, it had been the best day of football in my life. I got to go out on a high note.
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LOL. I “played” football in high school also. And I only got to play when the games got out of reach. When people ask me what position I played I tell them Benchwarmer.

In my mid-forties I joined our company flag football team that had formed to play other companies. I was the only one brave enough (most would say stupid enough) from the front office to join. The people who formed the team forgot to get flags when our practices started, so they decided to practice playing tackle football instead. The guys from manufacturing were big, and you’d think with nicknames like “Monster,” “Animal” and “Bubba” I should have reconsidered my plight. No, not me! I got to be the quarterback... The glory position, and I was pretty accurate when I wasn’t laying on my back. Unfortunately these guys played like the character Daniel Bateman from the movie “The Replacements.” I was so sore and beaten up after every practice that I kept swearing to myself I needed to quit. But I’m not a quitter. In our forth practice I had thrown a beautiful spiral that went for a touchdown, and was immediately hit with a upper forearm to the jaw. My teeth took out a 2” x ½” part of my left gum and the blood was pouring out of my mouth. I drove to the dentist to get stitches, and the dentist said I had to quit. Luckily for me I didn’t have to let the team down as the president of the company put a stop to the team the following day. We had five 5 manufacturing people out of work due to 3 broken bones and 2 blown knees. After that I always had respect form the manufacturing group and was treated as one of their own, except during union contract negotiations... which hurt.

After that ordeal I swore I would never play football again. Unfortunately there continues to be two phrases that always trumps sensible thinking... “Your too old” and “I dare you.” I always pay the price for my lack restraint with some sort of injury, and after every game I continue to say to myself... “never again.”

And I’ll never learn. :(
 
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do1you9love?

do1you9love?

Happy to be here!
Feb 18, 2012
9,284
70,566
Virginia
Grandpa said:
Have you ever had a close call and then wondered if you actually died and you're living out your very last moment in a dream of still living, a la Ambrose Bierce's An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge? Because I do that all the time.
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Great story! And no, but now that you've reminded me, maybe.

fushingfeef said:
Do you ever knock on wood, JUST IN CASE?
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All the time!!!

Do you ever... throw a pinch of salt over your left shoulder when/if it spills?? Yep, I do that too!
 
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