You've got to give me something here.....I just heard what sounded like a clatter, but found nothing when I arose to find out the matter...
Does Giant Put Out Cookies For Santa?
- Thread starter Out of Order
- Start date
-
This message board permanently closed on June 30th, 2020 at 4PM EDT and is no longer accepting new members.
You've got to give me something here.....I just heard what sounded like a clatter, but found nothing when I arose to find out the matter...
Good thing I have to get to work just about now. I think I have already been put on the lumps of coal list. I'd better quit while I'm ahead... it can get worse than the lumps of coal list from what I hear.
...me and Kris are tight...No. GG does not put out cookies for Santa. Santa puts out cookies for GG. He even builds a fire (in the fireplace), leaves a thank you note and a kitten. Santa loves him some GG and a certain Blond Bombshell. True story.
Good thing I have to get to work just about now. I think I have already been put on the lumps of coal list. I'd better quit while I'm ahead... it can get worse than the lumps of coal list from what I hear.
Very well, I must needs be gone soon as well, I will be donning my cap, to settle in for a long winter's nap.
After a few beers and some Munsters reruns!
Nah,Santa needs some incentive,he has the Gunny telling him,and eventually he gives up and miracles himself up..uh,slight spoiler,an obscenity or two.. 
Phew! At first I thought that title read Does Giant Put Out for Cookies for Santa.
....I would prefer my M & C....be left just this way...
There are no cookies. GNT ate them all. 
GNT eats kittens?!? No!!!!!!!No. GG does not put out cookies for Santa. Santa puts out cookies for GG. He even builds a fire (in the fireplace), leaves a thank you note and a kitten. Santa loves him some GG and a certain Blond Bombshell. True story.
The kitten is not a cookie and is in no way intended to be consumed as a food stuff.
GNT doesn't eat kittens. I'm going to stop writing before it's too late and I wind up censored... Yes, self censorship, I has it.
Neesy
#1 fan (Annie Wilkes cousin) 1st cousin Mom's side
- BARS
- 1 cup butter (2 sticks, very soft)
- 1 cup brown sugar (some cooks reduce this to 2/3 cup)
- 1⁄3 cup granulated sugar
- 3 large eggs
- 2 teaspoons orange extract or 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
- 2 cups flour
- 1 1⁄2 teaspoons baking powder
- 1 teaspoon ground ginger
- 3⁄4 cup craisins (dried cranberries)
- 3⁄4 cup white chocolate chips
- FROSTING
- 3 ounces cream cheese, softened
- 2 tablespoons butter, softened
- 3 cups confectioners' sugar
- 1 teaspoon orange extract (or vanilla)
- TOPPING
- 1⁄3 cup craisins, chopped
- 1 -2 tablespoon grated orange rind
- 1⁄3 cup white chocolate chips
- 1⁄2 teaspoon canola oil
Directions
- Preheat the oven to 350 degrees (325 for a glass or dark pan). Prepare a 10x15 by lining it with parchment paper or use a non-stick spray.
- BARS: With an electric mixer, beat together softened butter and sugars 3-5 minutes until light; gently blend in eggs and orange extract (don't overbeat eggs). Add the flour, baking powder, and ginger and beat briefly. Add the cranberries and chips, stirring just until incorporated.
- Spread thick batter in prepared 10x15 pan. Bake 350 for 20-24 minutes until light brown AT EDGES and a skewer tests clean. Don't overbake or your bars will be dry. Let it cool completely. NOTE: If you use a 9x13 pan, the bars will be thicker and will take 26-28 minutes.
- FROSTING: Blend cream cheese and butter until fluffy. Add orange extract and confectioners sugar and beat until frosting is fluffy and spreadable (adding 1 t. milk if needed). Spread evenly over COOLED bars.
- GARNISH: Use a zester to remove rind from an orange; sprinkle zest over frosted bars. Chop 1/3 cup Craisins coarsely; sprinkle over frosted bars.
- DRIZZLE: Mix white chocolate and oil in a glass measuring cup. Microwave 1 minute; stirring every 15 seconds until melted. Use a fork or whisk to drizzle the white chocolate diagonally across the bars.
- Allow one hour for the white chocolate to set before cutting. **To make signature Starbuck triangles, cut into 20 large squares (5 cuts by 4 cuts with the knife). Then cut each square in half
...if they taste like chocolate chips.......
Kittens taste like stringy fur balls... I imagine. I wouldn't think they tasted anything like chocolate chips or else they'd be extinct by now.
....I would prefer my M & C....be left just this way...
That looks delicious.
Phew! At first I thought that title read Does Giant Put Out for Cookies for Santa.
Ok... can someone please explain to the non-native English speakers what's so funny about this? I've been racking my brains about it for the last few days and even resorted to some (online) dictionaries, but I still don't see it
