Oh DJ.
Pucker is right, it isn't unique. Maybe that will help some.
You all know our oldest moved back home for a year. He never helped with chores. Well, not never, maybe 3 times in that year.
He did not leave dishes in his room, but rather the living room.
He did do his own laundry, but I always tried to beat him to it, because he never sorted anything, and just threw everything in all together, waaaay too large of loads. I was always afraid he would break my machine.
Now, his new home has been completely immaculate every time I have been over there, so he has learned how to do chores.
It will be ok. We (moms) enable them.
Deep breaths helped me.