Fragments of life atm....

[Srbo]

Sleep was shi**y. Too many worries about my little daughter who has pneumonia, and all the stuff that comes with it. Fever, pain, puking..you name it.
Tried to get to sleep, after she finally found some, with a little help from Tool.
Somewhat helped.
Went to visit my psychiatrist, blasting the new albums by Blaze Bayley and Blessed Hellride on my mp3 player, pretty good albums.
I have PTSD and some shi**y psychosis, or so he says, as inheritance from the war in ex Yugoslavia.
He didn`t understand what the f*ck I was talking about, nor did I understand what he said. The guy was talking to me about transcendental peace of mind. A shrink?
When he said that, I started thinking about Iron Maiden and their album Peace of Mind and Where Eagles Dare.
And I told him so.
I guess whatever he wrote down after that in his little pad didn`t make my diagnosis any better.
Now I`m sitting here, having a beer, only one, mind you, like I said, my kid is sick so I can`t afford to get sh*tfaced. But one better than none.
For no reason at all counted my metal/rock t- shirts...lost count when I got to fifty or sixty three...see, can`t remember even now what the number was.
Luckily, my wife is a very understanding woman, so when times like this happen, she doesn`t bother me, she just lets me do my thing.
And that thing, atm, is marveling a bit at the sun that finally came out and listening to the new album of Artillery.
If you didn`t hear it so far, you should, thrash at its very best.
And that`s that, for now, maybe I`ll let you know what happened after, maybe not.
How is your Friday? How was work, life, music, family...everything?
Salute.

****************
Scott, bro, I let HipMammaJen know that you would like to talk to her. She said no problem, it should happen soon.
I hope all is well, brother.

Missing you, my friends, but this is the best I can do at the moment.
Love and green lights.

Oh yeah, Amanda Rose showed up after 4 and more years on my FB profile, commented on a pic of mine. That was like 3 weeks ago, since then, nada again.
She said she loves all of us and is happy to be back.
Was she here?
Much love and have a happy weekend.

 

[Spideyman]

Inner peace, my friend, with love and green lights.

 

[champ1966]

Hey Srbo my friend, if I win the lottery , the first thing I'm gonna do is jump on a plane to London (Ontario) , and get sh#tfaced with you. My brother from another mother.

 

[GNTLGNT]

Hey Srbo my friend, if I win the lottery , the first thing I'm gonna do is jump on a plane to London (Ontario) , and get sh#tfaced with you. My brother from another mother.

...he is a brother I never knew as well....

 

[GNTLGNT]

Sleep was shi**y. Too many worries about my little daughter who has pneumonia, and all the stuff that comes with it. Fever, pain, puking..you name it.
Tried to get to sleep, after she finally found some, with a little help from Tool.
Somewhat helped.
Went to visit my psychiatrist, blasting the new albums by Blaze Bayley and Blessed Hellride on my mp3 player, pretty good albums.
I have PTSD and some shi**y psychosis, or so he says, as inheritance from the war in ex Yugoslavia.
He didn`t understand what the f*ck I was talking about, nor did I understand what he said. The guy was talking to me about transcendental peace of mind. A shrink?
When he said that, I started thinking about Iron Maiden and their album Peace of Mind and Where Eagles Dare.
And I told him so.
I guess whatever he wrote down after that in his little pad didn`t make my diagnosis any better.
Now I`m sitting here, having a beer, only one, mind you, like I said, my kid is sick so I can`t afford to get sh*tfaced. But one better than none.
For no reason at all counted my metal/rock t- shirts...lost count when I got to fifty or sixty three...see, can`t remember even now what the number was.
Luckily, my wife is a very understanding woman, so when times like this happen, she doesn`t bother me, she just lets me do my thing.
And that thing, atm, is marveling a bit at the sun that finally came out and listening to the new album of Artillery.
If you didn`t hear it so far, you should, thrash at its very best.
And that`s that, for now, maybe I`ll let you know what happened after, maybe not.
How is your Friday? How was work, life, music, family...everything?
Salute.

****************
Scott, bro, I let HipMammaJen know that you would like to talk to her. She said no problem, it should happen soon.
I hope all is well, brother.

Missing you, my friends, but this is the best I can do at the moment.
Love and green lights.

Oh yeah, Amanda Rose showed up after 4 and more years on my FB profile, commented on a pic of mine. That was like 3 weeks ago, since then, nada again.
She said she loves all of us and is happy to be back.
Was she here?
Much love and have a happy weekend.

...thanks man!...she has reached out....you stay the course and watch the ethanol intake....a depressant is never going to counteract depression....much love bro.....

 

[champ1966]

...he is a brother I never knew as well....

Straight after getting sh#tfaced with Srbo, I'd be on an overnighter to the King Kon buddy, you'll have to excuse me I'm never at my best with a hangover.

 

[Srbo]

Don't worry...everybody can die only so many times...my quota is done....
I died long ago, but as always...no one dies forever, all it is ..is a second...

 

[Moderator]

(((Srbo))) Hope everyone is feeling better very soon. It's no fun when our kids are sick and we can't do much for them to make it go away sooner than later.

 

[danie]

Spoiler: Long Story

Srbo, I could never presume to know the particular brand of pain you're going through; I've never been to war, never even been in a fistfight; but I've lived through Hell more than once, and maybe I can at least help.

For a period of time between January 5 of 2012 and January 5 of 2014, I lived through the darkest time I have ever known. I was so deeply depressed for so long that I began to understand what Red meant when he said that Hope was a terrible thing. I knew what Paul meant when he lamented that sometimes the Mile seems so long.
And there was no one around to care. There was no one who could understand the pain of losing my heart, my hope, my life. No one who really wanted to help me learn how to feel again.
And, toward the last half of 2013, I began to lose my mind. I had spent so long in the dark I had forgotten how to see. I was lost, with no hope of salvation, and somewhere along the line I stopped caring.
There were days where it took every ounce of determination I had to stay at work. All I wanted to do was run away, in any direction. And when a customer would walk in during those moments, I had to bite my tongue until it bled to keep from screaming at them to get out.
No one knew. No one cared. I just had to deal with it.
And no one knew about the days that I would go home and draw on myself with a razor blade. No one knew how I would stare at my own blood and feel...nothing. No one knew about the days that I would go home and curl up in some dark, confined space and stare at the wall for hours. No one knew about the visions I was having that were damn near hallucinations. No one knew how I wanted to crawl out of my own skin, or tear my shrieking, chaotic brain right out of my skull. Oh, how I longed for even a moment of silence! How I pitied Roland and Jake their divided selves!
And then someone came into my life that was even worse off than I was. He understood how it felt to have your mind crumble right out from under you. And he wasn't afraid to talk about it. He wasn't afraid of me. He knew how it felt to be broken where no one else could see, and just his understanding, his ability to truly empathize, helped.

Which brings me to my point. Would it help if you talked with a fellow Vet? Someone who truly knows the hell you're living through? Someone who will listen to you, who will hear you, and not just scribble on a pad? I know that having a fellow nut case to talk to helped me...and I wish with all my heart that you could find someone like that, someone who can see the problem and not be afraid of it.

I'm sorry if I wasted your time with my blather, but know that I care and want to help...somehow...

So glad he found you, RQ.

 

[GNTLGNT]

Spoiler: Long Story

Srbo, I could never presume to know the particular brand of pain you're going through; I've never been to war, never even been in a fistfight; but I've lived through Hell more than once, and maybe I can at least help.

For a period of time between January 5 of 2012 and January 5 of 2014, I lived through the darkest time I have ever known. I was so deeply depressed for so long that I began to understand what Red meant when he said that Hope was a terrible thing. I knew what Paul meant when he lamented that sometimes the Mile seems so long.
And there was no one around to care. There was no one who could understand the pain of losing my heart, my hope, my life. No one who really wanted to help me learn how to feel again.
And, toward the last half of 2013, I began to lose my mind. I had spent so long in the dark I had forgotten how to see. I was lost, with no hope of salvation, and somewhere along the line I stopped caring.
There were days where it took every ounce of determination I had to stay at work. All I wanted to do was run away, in any direction. And when a customer would walk in during those moments, I had to bite my tongue until it bled to keep from screaming at them to get out.
No one knew. No one cared. I just had to deal with it.
And no one knew about the days that I would go home and draw on myself with a razor blade. No one knew how I would stare at my own blood and feel...nothing. No one knew about the days that I would go home and curl up in some dark, confined space and stare at the wall for hours. No one knew about the visions I was having that were damn near hallucinations. No one knew how I wanted to crawl out of my own skin, or tear my shrieking, chaotic brain right out of my skull. Oh, how I longed for even a moment of silence! How I pitied Roland and Jake their divided selves!
And then someone came into my life that was even worse off than I was. He understood how it felt to have your mind crumble right out from under you. And he wasn't afraid to talk about it. He wasn't afraid of me. He knew how it felt to be broken where no one else could see, and just his understanding, his ability to truly empathize, helped.

Which brings me to my point. Would it help if you talked with a fellow Vet? Someone who truly knows the hell you're living through? Someone who will listen to you, who will hear you, and not just scribble on a pad? I know that having a fellow nut case to talk to helped me...and I wish with all my heart that you could find someone like that, someone who can see the problem and not be afraid of it.

I'm sorry if I wasted your time with my blather, but know that I care and want to help...somehow...

...this is the most well written self-analysis I've ever come across.....your core courage is more than you know...

 

[Srbo]

I`m sitting here for hours now reading your text again and again...
How this life is really fecked up.
You are telling me to talk to a vet...
Which vet?
The one that was in Serbia, Kosovo?
Or the one that was in Bosnia?
Killing innocent folks...
Who`s a vet?
I understand what you tried to do, but....well, you have no clue where I am from.
I`m sorry, and this includes the ENTIRE SKBM....you had nothing to do with whoever did that to my country.
But let me tell you once and never again, cause I can`t fight with you, never would want to, never will do:

Americans are really good people.
Your government is... a really, really scary thing.

Love and lights...

 

[Srbo]

I forgot how to do the quote thingy....

Marsha, thank you.
Spidey, you know everything....
Danie...man, sometimes I wish I had a friend like you in real life....

And for all the others...be a riddle, always.
That is until somebody finds an answer to your question and gets your heart forever...
Give up only like when Blaine gave up...when no questions were left than about Love....

 

[TheRedQueen]

I`m sitting here for hours now reading your text again and again...
How this life is really fecked up.
You are telling me to talk to a vet...
Which vet?
The one that was in Serbia, Kosovo?
Or the one that was in Bosnia?
Killing innocent folks...
Who`s a vet?
I understand what you tried to do, but....well, you have no clue where I am from.
I`m sorry, and this includes the ENTIRE SKBM....you had nothing to do with whoever did that to my country.
But let me tell you once and never again, cause I can`t fight with you, never would want to, never will do:

Americans are really good people.
Your government is... a really, really scary thing.

Love and lights...

Srbo, I am sorry. My words seem to have upset or offended you and that was not my intent. I will ask one of the Mods to remove my post immediately.

 

[Dana Jean]

Srbo, I am sorry. My words seem to have upset or offended you and that was not my intent. I will ask one of the Mods to remove my post immediately.

done.

 

[mal]

Hello Sir, I hope your little girl gets better and also that you get a good handle on your depression (or whatever they're telling you it is). Based on your past posts I have read you seem like a romantic soul so try to find that child inside of you and bring him out again. All the best, mal.

 

[Srbo]

Thank You.

 

[Dana Jean]

I hope all is well soon Srbo.

 

[mstay]

Hey Srbo! It's always good to hear from you. I'm sorry for your pain.

 

[king family fan]

Good to see you! Hope the pain goes away quickly.

 

[GNTLGNT]

Srbo, I am sorry. My words seem to have upset or offended you and that was not my intent. I will ask one of the Mods to remove my post immediately.

....your words and sentiment were emotionally charged and quite well-intentioned....in this particular case, I don't think my brother was in the right melancholy frame of mind to see the love and strength behind the words....