If you have any funny stories from when you were little or maybe something funny you believed as a kid tell it in here if you want to.
Funny things you did as a kid
- Thread starter Riot87
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I thought that when someone got sewed that they had to live in the sewer.
I thought that every time a song was played on the radio or a record, the singer had to get up from wherever they were and start singing. I always pictured someone in their bedroom standing at a microphone.
...I once polished doorknobs with no pants on....
Disturbing...yet......no, no just disturbing pretty much covers that one...lol
Tried to impress a couple of young girls that lived on my street by power sliding my bicycle thru a corner at full speed as they were walking by on the sidewalk.....loose gravel....brakes....flip....too late realization.....ass over teakettle.......pain......unconscious....I did manage to get their attention, they ran all the way to my trailer and got my mom for me....
Once, as a child, a group of adults said they were going out for Four Roses. When they came back, I didn't see any roses, so I asked where were the roses. They laughed at me!!
Never mind i think i know lol.
what is Four Roses?
Kentucky straight bourbon whiskey
I was fifteen and an aspiring driver. I wasn't like some...what the hell was that...be right back.
Didn't mean to click Reply then?
(we can edit and replace later if need be)
everything OK???
My friends and I (probably 4 or 5 of us) decided we wanted to try bowling. We knew it cost money (kids didn't carry ATM cards back then 
our money was mostly change) so we counted up what we had between us and walked to the bowling alley. We asked how much it was to bowl and the guy behind the counter told us x per game. We decided we had enough so we decided to bowl. The problem was, the guy behind the counter didn't really define what a game was and we didn't really know so we used our definition (which was all 5 of us together was one game ). We bowled for a long time and when we went to check out, the bill was way more than we had. We were then told the definition of a game. We had to call one of our moms to come bail us out (and she was a little ticked off because we racked up a pretty big bill).
our money was mostly change) so we counted up what we had between us and walked to the bowling alley. We asked how much it was to bowl and the guy behind the counter told us x per game. We decided we had enough so we decided to bowl. The problem was, the guy behind the counter didn't really define what a game was and we didn't really know so we used our definition (which was all 5 of us together was one game ). We bowled for a long time and when we went to check out, the bill was way more than we had. We were then told the definition of a game. We had to call one of our moms to come bail us out (and she was a little ticked off because we racked up a pretty big bill).
Forgot to hitch the team to the wagon once. Yelled "giddyup" and went dirt surfing. Father tanned my hide, and was the laughing stock on the Oregon trail for the next 500 miles.
As a kid I watched my neighbor give his 93 year old great granddad a john deer tractor because his mule was too damn old to plow. So was the old old man but nobody could do anything with him. The old old man drove the tractor through the side of the barn yelling whoa at the top of his lungs. Still makes me laugh. Old old man and tractor were fine. Don't think the mule cared either way.
Wind...see above at #10...heard what sounded like an aluminum ladder taking a dive a distinctive clank...wind blowing like all-get-out here trees are really moving and shaking, leaves are falling have fallen, the saw-mules in the driveway, had them standing sideways, aluminum break resting on it, aluminum ladder resting on that, and the whole thing went kaplooey. Open the garage overhead door to go out and am attacked by leaves a swirling whirlwind of them. All right all right already. Sometimes the wind blows so hard you can't hear yourself think.
anyway...what I wanted to say was I was fifteen and approaching the magical age of sixteen when an aspiring driver can go the the Secretary of State's office and apply for a drivers license. So...we pile in the Dodge...Dart I think it was, parents had traded in this old Falcon station wagon the year before or maybe the same year...so I didn't have to go through the ordeal of learning a stick. Heh! We head out toward the Gay-Lake Linden road...Dad behind the wheel, Ma riding shotgun, myself and two sisters in the backseat and a younger brother somewhere...front seat maybe...
I get behind the wheel after the old man pulls over at the bottom of the Gay-Lake Linden hill. None of us were wearing seatbelts and I didn't bother buckling up at the time although I now so that religiously. Time teaches all manner of lessons. If you live to learn. Car is idling in park...Dad got in the back seat I think...Ma's smacking her Wrigley's Spearmint waiting for me to put it in drive. I'm hesitant...recalling all those black and white television shows I'd seen...The Hillbillies, The Andy Griffith Show...The F.B.I. with F-Ram Gymnist Junior...Hawaii-Five-O...book em Dano, murder one...Columbo maybe? Anyway, watching those shows, you'd see someone behind the wheel, a windshield shot...guy driving is moving the wheel back and forth like he's at Daytona, no sense that the car is turning, simply going straight, that's the sense you got watching those old shows.
"What's wrong?" asks Ma.
"Well," I whine in a high-pitched fever...trying to remember how I phrased it..."when I turn the wheel how much does the wheels turn?"
There was a glorious silence in the car as everyone pondered my question.
"What do you mean?"
"Well when you watch those shows they're turning the wheel like this," I said and demonstrated, my hands at nine and three o'clock, turning the wheel a tad in each direction. "Does the car keep going straight, or what?"
Damn Hollywood.
I can't remember how I phrased the question, but the old man snorted in the back seat, a sister giggled because she probably thought a giggle was called for, Ma started to laugh, and then explained that no, Hollywood has their head up their arse and had no clue about the reality of life. So...I took off, blasted up the Gay-Lake Linden hill on our way up the peninsula...not feeling like anyone, F-Ram Gymnist Junior, Andy or Jed or Fred Flintstone. Alone again, naturally.
anyway...what I wanted to say was I was fifteen and approaching the magical age of sixteen when an aspiring driver can go the the Secretary of State's office and apply for a drivers license. So...we pile in the Dodge...Dart I think it was, parents had traded in this old Falcon station wagon the year before or maybe the same year...so I didn't have to go through the ordeal of learning a stick. Heh! We head out toward the Gay-Lake Linden road...Dad behind the wheel, Ma riding shotgun, myself and two sisters in the backseat and a younger brother somewhere...front seat maybe...
I get behind the wheel after the old man pulls over at the bottom of the Gay-Lake Linden hill. None of us were wearing seatbelts and I didn't bother buckling up at the time although I now so that religiously. Time teaches all manner of lessons. If you live to learn. Car is idling in park...Dad got in the back seat I think...Ma's smacking her Wrigley's Spearmint waiting for me to put it in drive. I'm hesitant...recalling all those black and white television shows I'd seen...The Hillbillies, The Andy Griffith Show...The F.B.I. with F-Ram Gymnist Junior...Hawaii-Five-O...book em Dano, murder one...Columbo maybe? Anyway, watching those shows, you'd see someone behind the wheel, a windshield shot...guy driving is moving the wheel back and forth like he's at Daytona, no sense that the car is turning, simply going straight, that's the sense you got watching those old shows.
"What's wrong?" asks Ma.
"Well," I whine in a high-pitched fever...trying to remember how I phrased it..."when I turn the wheel how much does the wheels turn?"
There was a glorious silence in the car as everyone pondered my question.
"What do you mean?"
"Well when you watch those shows they're turning the wheel like this," I said and demonstrated, my hands at nine and three o'clock, turning the wheel a tad in each direction. "Does the car keep going straight, or what?"
Damn Hollywood.
I can't remember how I phrased the question, but the old man snorted in the back seat, a sister giggled because she probably thought a giggle was called for, Ma started to laugh, and then explained that no, Hollywood has their head up their arse and had no clue about the reality of life. So...I took off, blasted up the Gay-Lake Linden hill on our way up the peninsula...not feeling like anyone, F-Ram Gymnist Junior, Andy or Jed or Fred Flintstone. Alone again, naturally.
Not me but my cousin (my Aunt's son)
When he was a kid he broke his leg and he was taken to the hospital. His mom and dad were in the room when he was getting prepped for surgery. The doctors had to cut his pants off and when they did, it was discovered that my cousin had put fake tattoos of pirate flags all over his body under his clothes and on his privates. Everyone cracked up. My aunt said even the doctor broke out laughing.
When he was a kid he broke his leg and he was taken to the hospital. His mom and dad were in the room when he was getting prepped for surgery. The doctors had to cut his pants off and when they did, it was discovered that my cousin had put fake tattoos of pirate flags all over his body under his clothes and on his privates. Everyone cracked up. My aunt said even the doctor broke out laughing.
Years ago, my father tried to give my Nana (Mum's Mum) driving lessons and they had this conversation... almost exactly word for word!
I was a little 'un sitting in the back seat, remember it like it was yesterday.
...I was about 18 months old...and was at my grammas...they were doing a diaper change on me, and I decided that the clean cloth diaper was better put to use cleaning her doorknobs than covering me (still) cute azz....