It doesn`t happen too often, but sometimes, like tonight, I am completely happy and at peace with myself.
No, there is no special reason for it ( apart from, of course, the usual - my wife and kid are healthy and good ), it`s just the same old life, all the bills still need to be paid, I`m more often broke than not, the neighbors are as loud as ever and so on...
But, I don`t know, sometimes a light comes into my soul, a light I can almost see and certainly feel, a light that makes everything bad disappear.
I even spent an hour on the bus today, for a ride that usually takes ten minutes, but the bus had to take a detour due to a train that had broken down and blocked the main street...and many people on the bus were getting nervous, talking louder and louder on their phones, as if that is gonna shorten the ride somehow...but not me.
I was just sitting there, with an almost idiotic smile on my face, like I`m high on something or had a few drinks, which I wasn`t and didn`t, held my bag with a few books I purchased at a local used book-store ( found a hardback of Carrie, not the first edition, but some Double Day edition with a cover I`ve never seen before ) and was simply looking at people.
When I got home, my wife asked what happened, why am I so late for lunch and when I told her why, she said: " So...what are you smiling about then? Didn`t you flip out a bit? "
" No" - I said while hugging her and giving her a kiss. " I`m smiling because I love you and I think that`s reason enough to be happy. "
It felt beautiful to see a warm smile spreading across her face as well.
And here I am, a bit tired since I did a vigorous cardio workout once again after lunch had settled...still with the same smile.
It`s snowing a bit, nothing special, but at least it is all white outside.
But warm in here, my cat is sleeping and purring very loud at the same time. My kiddo is also asleep and from time to time I check on her...it`s wonderful hearing kids breathe so peacefully.
And the light that is still there, threatening to swallow me whole.
Which I wouldn`t mind at all..
And how are you, my wonderful friends?
No, there is no special reason for it ( apart from, of course, the usual - my wife and kid are healthy and good ), it`s just the same old life, all the bills still need to be paid, I`m more often broke than not, the neighbors are as loud as ever and so on...
But, I don`t know, sometimes a light comes into my soul, a light I can almost see and certainly feel, a light that makes everything bad disappear.
I even spent an hour on the bus today, for a ride that usually takes ten minutes, but the bus had to take a detour due to a train that had broken down and blocked the main street...and many people on the bus were getting nervous, talking louder and louder on their phones, as if that is gonna shorten the ride somehow...but not me.
I was just sitting there, with an almost idiotic smile on my face, like I`m high on something or had a few drinks, which I wasn`t and didn`t, held my bag with a few books I purchased at a local used book-store ( found a hardback of Carrie, not the first edition, but some Double Day edition with a cover I`ve never seen before ) and was simply looking at people.
When I got home, my wife asked what happened, why am I so late for lunch and when I told her why, she said: " So...what are you smiling about then? Didn`t you flip out a bit? "
" No" - I said while hugging her and giving her a kiss. " I`m smiling because I love you and I think that`s reason enough to be happy. "
It felt beautiful to see a warm smile spreading across her face as well.
And here I am, a bit tired since I did a vigorous cardio workout once again after lunch had settled...still with the same smile.
It`s snowing a bit, nothing special, but at least it is all white outside.
But warm in here, my cat is sleeping and purring very loud at the same time. My kiddo is also asleep and from time to time I check on her...it`s wonderful hearing kids breathe so peacefully.
And the light that is still there, threatening to swallow me whole.
Which I wouldn`t mind at all..
And how are you, my wonderful friends?
❤
