How do you live with family members's sickness?

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Christiane17

Well-Known Member
Jan 19, 2010
838
915
75
Quebec, Canada
Hello everyone!!! Gee I feel kinda bad not being here too often, but I wanted to share some thoughts with you this morning.
First of all I write, so it takes a lot of my time. I'm currently writing a novel containing a lot of history stuff, so my surfing on the web is almost all limited to the database Wikepedia and history sites. It's a lot of work, but also so incredibly good for the mind.
So, I just wanted to tell you that my mother has been quite sick lately, and my first priority was her. My writing was put on hold for a few weeks, but I'm back on track now. She's been better and my sisters, my brother and I take turns to help her out when ever needed. It's a relief to see her feeling better. They implanted a pacemaker in her chest, and at 89 years old, she will celebrate the birth of 3 more great-great kids only this year. She has now 7 of them, and she's proud.

I personnaly have not been sick for years now, and I thank God for that. But a lot of folks in my family and friends faced different illnesses. My kid sis Dominique nearly died 2 years ago and I shared those passages with a few of you. She's now quite fine and became a grandma 2weeks ago, which she thought would never happen to her in the first place. Her daughter gave birth to a magnificent little girl and she was there to assist her along with my niece's husband. In fact, those 2 gor married last year, and my niece lives with only one kidney. So she's proud to be a mom and thankful to life.

One of my dearest friends is facing cancer right now and since she lives in Montreal, I'm not able to be around too much, but we talk on the phone and I must say she's quite brave. My thoughts are a lot with her. Another one of my friends felt in the stairs a few days ago, and she broke her right harm ( she's a right hander ) and her husband is having chimiotherapy right now, due to a prostate cancer. So like you must be thinking right now, sometimes a lot of things happen at the same time, but the thing is to try not to get too much affected by other people's problems, physical or mental. I personnally have a hard time with this, because it's not easy to stay calm and serene, when you see people you love having big sufferings.

That being said, I thank life every day because I have good health. My husband faced a very hard surgery last year and is now doing very good. In facts, this is one of the things that gives you faith, to see people getting better after being so incredibly sick, like my mom for instance. It cannot being always all wrong. Another thing, sick people or handicapped people who have the chance to have family members or friends taking care of them and giving them love, well in my family and friends anyway, appreciate having this gift. I think being just there near them sometimes, it helps them in more ways than we think. That's what my mom told me this morning when I phoned to ask; ''Hey mom, how you doing this morning?'' I thought I saw her smile out there at the other end.

Have a super day everyone!!! ♥♥
 

HollyGolightly

Well-Known Member
Sep 6, 2013
9,660
74,320
54
Heart of the South
wow - that's a lot going on with folks you know and love. I've had similar times with my in-laws and friends - everything happened all at once. I'm good at offering myself up for child care (God help me though if it's a toddler!), transportation and meals. Or give them a call when you're going to the grocery store and ask what you can pick up for them. Even if you don't like cooking, pick up up something they can just pop in the oven and heat up. Little things that those of us with blessedly good health might take for granted seem like a big deal to someone who can't get out and go.
 

blunthead

Well-Known Member
Aug 2, 2006
80,755
195,461
Atlanta GA
...I thank life every day because I have good health. My husband faced a very hard surgery last year and is now doing very good. In facts, this is one of the things that gives you faith, to see people getting better after being so incredibly sick, like my mom for instance. It cannot being always all wrong. Another thing, sick people or handicapped people who have the chance to have family members or friends taking care of them and giving them love, well in my family and friends anyway, appreciate having this gift. I think being just there near them sometimes, it helps them in more ways than we think. That's what my mom told me this morning when I phoned to ask; ''Hey mom, how you doing this morning?'' I thought I saw her smile out there at the other end.

Have a super day everyone!!! ♥♥
There's more healing in the underlined than necessarily makes scientific sense. I've worked with the elderly for many years in nursing homes.The worst aspect of that life of them seems to be the absence of family and friends. When my mom and dad lived here with me my mom once told me that they were happier together during that time than they'd ever been in their lives. Home and family are very healthful additions to life, when possible. Friends are included, and in some cases more family than family.
 

mstay

Older than most, not as old as some.
Oct 13, 2007
6,022
5,554
Utah
It is hard to be a caregiver! My in-laws have lived with us for about 9 years and my MIL broke her leg and was very sick with Alzheimer's a few years ago. She was the main focus of all of our lives. It was hard to watch her decline and pass away. Luckily I wasn't the only one taking care of her but you definitely need to take some time for yourself. Whenever you can. It will keep you sane.

You are correct that your love and kindness helps them immeasurably. I know you will be blessed for all you do to help the people in your family.
 

HollyGolightly

Well-Known Member
Sep 6, 2013
9,660
74,320
54
Heart of the South
There's more healing in the underlined than necessarily makes scientific sense. I've worked with the elderly for many years in nursing homes.The worst aspect of that life of them seems to be the absence of family and friends. When my mom and dad lived here with me my mom once told me that they were happier together during that time than they'd ever been in their lives. Home and family are very healthful additions to life, when possible. Friends are included, and in some cases more family than family.
That's priceless - what a gift!
 

VultureLvr45

Well-Known Member
Mar 15, 2012
2,650
13,707
Maryland
You guys are really lucky to be able to give the gift of care giving. I live in a different state than my parents; their health has been deteriorating steadily for the last few years. They do not want me to provide any assistance and rely solely on my brother. I have offered to come visit, help and spend time with them. They decline my offers, saying I have my own family to tend. They have alway been proud and private people. Really think they have decided I am no longer 'family' but now relegated to guest or step relative; Frankly, it sucks.
 
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blunthead

Well-Known Member
Aug 2, 2006
80,755
195,461
Atlanta GA
Looking after sick family members is so hard and sometimes it can be what tips you over, especially when you're having to do it largely on your own. Wishing you all better times, so good to see you again, thanks for catching up with us. :)
It's true. When I started being my parents' primary/only caregiver I didn't realize how all-consuming and life-demanding the responsibility would be. I found myself automatically making time for myself away from home. Fortunately, they were safe alone for a couple hours at a time.
 

SharonC

Eternal Members
Jul 9, 2007
2,958
11,254
Canada
Being the cared for, rather than the caregiver, I have to say how much I appreciated and loved my other half when I was too ill to care for myself. My sister was another one who went out of her way to help me during that hard time as well. My other sisters paid for my daughter's flight to enable her to visit me for a few weeks. They were all a godsend! You who do the caregiving may think sometimes that it is a thankless job, but from my heart I say it is you who helps us to heal. Bless you all, and know that you are loved and appreciated.
 

Dana Jean

Dirty Pirate Hooker, The Return
Moderator
Apr 11, 2006
53,634
236,697
The High Seas
Being the cared for, rather than the caregiver, I have to say how much I appreciated and loved my other half when I was too ill to care for myself. My sister was another one who went out of her way to help me during that hard time as well. My other sisters paid for my daughter's flight to enable her to visit me for a few weeks. They were all a godsend! You who do the caregiving may think sometimes that it is a thankless job, but from my heart I say it is you who helps us to heal. Bless you all, and know that you are loved and appreciated.
{{{sharon}}}
 

Haunted

This is my favorite place
Mar 26, 2008
17,059
29,421
The woods are lovely dark and deep
Being the cared for, rather than the caregiver, I have to say how much I appreciated and loved my other half when I was too ill to care for myself. My sister was another one who went out of her way to help me during that hard time as well. My other sisters paid for my daughter's flight to enable her to visit me for a few weeks. They were all a godsend! You who do the caregiving may think sometimes that it is a thankless job, but from my heart I say it is you who helps us to heal. Bless you all, and know that you are loved and appreciated.
((((SharonC))))
 

Haunted

This is my favorite place
Mar 26, 2008
17,059
29,421
The woods are lovely dark and deep
I'm not cut out to be a caregiver. It's not in my cards. I was meant for opulence, not the miserable existence that I have now. Not the extended liquid vacation that is close to taking me on my final one.

I'm not cut out to be a caregiver, but maybe I'm filled in for it.

I don't have to like it...I just am compelled to do it.
((((Bryan James))))
 

staropeace

Richard Bachman's love child
Nov 28, 2006
15,210
48,848
Alberta,Canada
My prayers and best wishes go to you and your family. The best advice I can give you is have patience and tolerance. Do not ask if a sick person needs a bit of help...like doing a laundry load or washing a dish...just go and do it because folks hesitate to ask for help. After having reoccuring cancer for years, I know the frustration of simply not being able to get my chores done. I, also, feel that a clean cozy environment does help the sick feel better and is important. I am not feeling well right now and I have a sneaking suspicion that my cancer is back. I get my scope at the end of the month. I am not looking forward to it. That is enought of me whining lol. I am gonna go make a meatloaf.
 

FlakeNoir

Original Kiwi© SKMB®
Moderator
Apr 11, 2006
44,082
175,641
New Zealand
My prayers and best wishes go to you and your family. The best advice I can give you is have patience and tolerance. Do not ask if a sick person needs a bit of help...like doing a laundry load or washing a dish...just go and do it because folks hesitate to ask for help. After having reoccuring cancer for years, I know the frustration of simply not being able to get my chores done. I, also, feel that a clean cozy environment does help the sick feel better and is important. I am not feeling well right now and I have a sneaking suspicion that my cancer is back. I get my scope at the end of the month. I am not looking forward to it. That is enought of me whining lol. I am gonna go make a meatloaf.
Staro my girl, you're in my thoughts... I'm vibing all I can that your scope will come back clear and that this will just have been a bad winter for you. Hugs and kisses to you my friend, please keep us posted. :love: