Of course what really bothers me is having to deal with these bitches and the reasons I must do so. I have flashbacks fairly often of several incidents, one of which was an absolutely unprovoked attack involving yard rage but did not come to physical blows. On the one hand, it's entirely my fault for not becoming a successful author like Stephen King. Yes, successful people do have to deal with crazy fans and other demands they would rather not if they had absolute control, but they have enough control not to have bitches in their face telling them what's what and what to do or else every second thing. If someone tried it, they would be getting a restraining order, not taking orders from the bitches. On the one hand, I should not still be upset that some crazy psycho yelled at me in 1999, but on the other hand, it's representative of a larger problem, that if things had gone right for me everything would be different--for starters, I would buy the property for sale next door instead of sitting worrying about what kind of a mental case might move in! On the other hand, I'm not sure how much IS my fault. I have a developmental disability which makes it hard for me to understand what most people (normal or otherwise) do, and why, even in the most mundane circumstances--and even perfectly normal people trying to write have more difficulty with plot than any other aspect of writing. So I don't think it can be construed as entirely my fault that life and career did not go well. Yet people with some major problems have produced artistic if not life successes.
