I Am Weirded Out Today... because..

[Grandpa]

What are you building? A tree house? If you make significant changes to your house a nosy neighbor might dob you in. Make sure you wear safety glasses. Look what happened to the Australian golfer, Greg Norman. He was using a chain saw doing something on his property which I think I heard was in Florida, and something happened and he sliced off half his hand.

Oh, it doesn't matter. If I try to replace a broken tile in a shower, you can bet that before the end of the day, the bathroom will be gutted, and before the week is over, the contractors are wondering how to fix it the destroyed room. If I try to repair a water leak ... well, do you remember the Three Stooges in the plumbing episode?

I do have the occasional home repair victory. Very occasional. And it's something on the order of replacing contact paper in the kitchen cupboards, where we have a big celebration when that gets done and the cabinetry emerges intact. My home repair prowess is rather limited to attacking clogged drains with the plumber's helper. I'm kind of okay with that.

Seriously, I hate home/mechanical repair. I know that some people enjoy it as a puzzle to figure out and conquer. And that's the appropriate attitude. To me, it's a straight line. I have a problem, and I want the singular answer to fix it. For instance: I have a bad starter, and I want to take it out and replace it. But to do that, there's a bar along the undercarriage in the way, and that has to be taken out, and one of the bolts holding it in is rusted and immobile, and not only that, but it's on the other side of a flange, which I can't get to without a series elbows on the ratchet, and ... arrrrrgghhhh!!!! I'm just not made for this stuff.

 

[mjs9153]

Oh, it doesn't matter. If I try to replace a broken tile in a shower, you can bet that before the end of the day, the bathroom will be gutted, and before the week is over, the contractors are wondering how to fix it the destroyed room. If I try to repair a water leak ... well, do you remember the Three Stooges in the plumbing episode?

I do have the occasional home repair victory. Very occasional. And it's something on the order of replacing contact paper in the kitchen cupboards, where we have a big celebration when that gets done and the cabinetry emerges intact. My home repair prowess is rather limited to attacking clogged drains with the plumber's helper. I'm kind of okay with that.

Seriously, I hate home/mechanical repair. I know that some people enjoy it as a puzzle to figure out and conquer. And that's the appropriate attitude. To me, it's a straight line. I have a problem, and I want the singular answer to fix it. For instance: I have a bad starter, and I want to take it out and replace it. But to do that, there's a bar along the undercarriage in the way, and that has to be taken out, and one of the bolts holding it in is rusted and immobile, and not only that, but it's on the other side of a flange, which I can't get to without a series elbows on the ratchet, and ... arrrrrgghhhh!!!! I'm just not made for this stuff.

I hear you,I am quite bad at that stuff too,about all I am good at is tearing stuff down with like a crowbar and sledgehammer..incidentally,we must be thinking alike because I just posted on the walking dead thread and used the three stooges as an analogy also..

 

[muskrat]

If I try to repair a water leak ... well, do you remember the Three Stooges in the plumbing episode?

Soitainly!

Woo woo woo!

 

[Out of Order]

A simple letter in the mail.

You?

Didn't get a 'U' got a 'Y'............

 

[DiO'Bolic]

Me and home repairs. If it involves mechanic aptitude, it's one-third of the ultimate cost to call in someone else - because if I try it, I'm going to spend the cost of materials and my productive time to fix it, and then we call the professional who has to tear all that incompetent crap out and do it right.

Anyway.

We've had a really good weekend. We had a nice, restful Friday evening, a trip to the Big City on Saturday to see a Tony-award-winning show, and a dinner, and then today, which was full of productive time, including a nap which yes! is productive....

And it's been so nice that I'm actually looking forward to the workday tomorrow to bring regular life back into focus.

You may not think that's weird, but it is to me.

Could not get one part removed no matter what I did. Thing now looks like it went through a paper shredder. The drip in now a steady flow. Turned the water off and am calling the plumber today. The simple cartridge replacement now involves a faucet replacement. Why is it I'm not believed when I say 'DO NOT ASK ME TO DO PLUMBING WORK... IT ALWAYS ENDS UP IN DISASTER AND ENDS UP COSTING US MORE!'

 

[HollyGolightly]

True story, happened just last night:

I was out walking my dog Miska last night very late, nearly 1:00 A.M. on our dark street. I heard a strange sort of shuffling noise coming from the neighbor's house across the street, not mechanical but more organic, almost wet-sounding. It nearly had a discernible repetitive pattern to it, but when I thought I could predict it, it would change a little. Weird. I thought it might be the wind pushing through something that I couldn't see, but it was dark and I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was, so I moved on.

At the top of the hill I turned around and headed back to my house as usual. As I got closer to my neighbor's house, my dog started to growl, dug in her feet and stared at the house. I could no longer hear the shuffling noise but I peered into the shadows of the porch because I was curious about what was bothering the dog. After a moment my eyes adjusted and I could just make out the silhouette of what appeared to be a person sitting on the porch. These neighbors are not night owls, in fact their house is always dark by 9:00 PM, so I was surprised that someone would be sitting on their porch at this late hour. I felt rude to be staring so I called out "Hello," but I could hear a bit of nervousness in my voice, it sounded more like a timid "...hello?"

I saw the figure move slightly as if I had disturbed....him? Her? It? Then I heard a long, scratchy inward drawing of breath, making a vocal scraping sound, like a prolonged death rattle. In truth, in the darkness it sounded quite monstrous and the hairs on my neck began to climb. My dog's growl turned into barking and she began straining at the leash.

Did I stick around to see what it was? No, I did not.

Today during the daylight, I walked my dog up the same street. I saw another neighbor (next door to the house in question), I asked him if he heard any weird noises the night before. He said no. I was too embarrassed to tell him about the creepy shadow and the rattly breath I'd heard, so I lied a little. I said "I saw Ted on the porch last night but he didn't seem like he wanted to talk. He sounded like he had asthma or something."

Neighbor looks confused. "Ted and his wife are on vacation, there's no one in that house."

I'm a little afraid to walk the dog tonight.

Very frightening. I would call the non-emergency police number and tell them that you know someone was trespassing at a neighbor's while they were out of town. Might warrant someone official just taking a look around. I've learned the hard way that you can't be too cautious. And police really want to help. Someone knows your neighbors are out of town and they are up to something. Sounds like a SK novel or maybe even Clive Barker: organic wet shuffling noises. EEK!

 

[do1you9love?]

Very frightening. I would call the non-emergency police number and tell them that you know someone was trespassing at a neighbor's while they were out of town. Might warrant someone official just taking a look around. I've learned the hard way that you can't be too cautious. And police really want to help. Someone knows your neighbors are out of town and they are up to something. Sounds like a SK novel or maybe even Clive Barker: organic wet shuffling noises. EEK!

That is a very good idea Holly!

I am officially freaked out for you, fushingfeef! Try what Ms. Holly suggested and let us know if you find anything out. And maybe, take the dog a different direction tonight!!

 

[Out of Order]

fushingfeef.....next time bring a flashlight and something to protect yourself and your dog with. Too many nuts running around these days not to be prepared.

 

[Sundrop]

The wife wants me to do some plumbing work today. Me and plumbing live by Murphy's Law.

I could offer my assistance.......but that might weird you out.

 

[Out of Order]

I could offer my assistance.......but that might weird you out.

 

[DiO'Bolic]

I could offer my assistance.......but that might weird you out.

Well, I sure know I'd up the coverage on my homeowner's policy, at least.

 

[mal]

True story, happened just last night:

I was out walking my dog Miska last night very late, nearly 1:00 A.M. on our dark street. I heard a strange sort of shuffling noise coming from the neighbor's house across the street, not mechanical but more organic, almost wet-sounding. It nearly had a discernible repetitive pattern to it, but when I thought I could predict it, it would change a little. Weird. I thought it might be the wind pushing through something that I couldn't see, but it was dark and I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was, so I moved on.

At the top of the hill I turned around and headed back to my house as usual. As I got closer to my neighbor's house, my dog started to growl, dug in her feet and stared at the house. I could no longer hear the shuffling noise but I peered into the shadows of the porch because I was curious about what was bothering the dog. After a moment my eyes adjusted and I could just make out the silhouette of what appeared to be a person sitting on the porch. These neighbors are not night owls, in fact their house is always dark by 9:00 PM, so I was surprised that someone would be sitting on their porch at this late hour. I felt rude to be staring so I called out "Hello," but I could hear a bit of nervousness in my voice, it sounded more like a timid "...hello?"

I saw the figure move slightly as if I had disturbed....him? Her? It? Then I heard a long, scratchy inward drawing of breath, making a vocal scraping sound, like a prolonged death rattle. In truth, in the darkness it sounded quite monstrous and the hairs on my neck began to climb. My dog's growl turned into barking and she began straining at the leash.

Did I stick around to see what it was? No, I did not.

Today during the daylight, I walked my dog up the same street. I saw another neighbor (next door to the house in question), I asked him if he heard any weird noises the night before. He said no. I was too embarrassed to tell him about the creepy shadow and the rattly breath I'd heard, so I lied a little. I said "I saw Ted on the porch last night but he didn't seem like he wanted to talk. He sounded like he had asthma or something."

Neighbor looks confused. "Ted and his wife are on vacation, there's no one in that house."

I'm a little afraid to walk the dog tonight.

Ooohh! That is a scary story! Be safe, mal

 

[TheRedQueen]

I was born weirded out. What to most people is the Twilight Zone is to me simple everyday reality. UFOs, space aliens, ghosts, Bigfoot, sea monsters, and fairies do not seem that weird to me. I mean, why the hell not?

Oh thank goodness, I thought I was the only one!
I see weird shadows out of the corner of my eye almost every day. It's either get used to it or go mad. Or maybe I'm already mad and just don't know it...

 

[Sundrop]

The mailman just stopped at the mailbox.........suddenly, I want to go hide in the basement.

 

[not_nadine]

Didn't get a 'U' got a 'Y'............

That's what I said.

 

[Out of Order]

That's what I said.

 

[Grandpa]

Could not get one part removed no matter what I did. Thing now looks like it went through a paper shredder. The drip in now a steady flow. Turned the water off and am calling the plumber today. The simple cartridge replacement now involves a faucet replacement. Why is it I'm not believed when I say 'DO NOT ASK ME TO DO PLUMBING WORK... IT ALWAYS ENDS UP IN DISASTER AND ENDS UP COSTING US MORE!'

EXACTLY!!! It's like our wives have this belief that we can do stereotypical mechanical men-things, all we need is a tool belt, and their belieF has NO BASIS IN RATIONALITY OR EXPERIENCE. I'd theorize that it's based in an idealistic view, but she lost her idealism for me long ago.

 

[DiO'Bolic]

EXACTLY!!! It's like our wives have this belief that we can do stereotypical mechanical men-things, all we need is a tool belt, and their belieF has NO BASIS IN RATIONALITY OR EXPERIENCE. I'd theorize that it's based in an idealistic view, but she lost her idealism for me long ago.

Mine watched a youtube video last week and said it was so easy that even she could do it. Like one video fits all the various faucets out there. I secretly think she attempted it and gave up trying to get the handle screw out. I got the old 'just like a man, willing to spend all that money to have a repairman come out rather than replacing part yourself.' Gotta love the instant experts.

 

[Out of Order]

How many DiOs does it take to change a light bulb?

 

[Spideyman]

How many DiOs does it take to change a light bulb?

Two- a positive(anode) and a negative (cathode).