Important Anniversary

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hipmamajen

Rebel Rebel, your face is a mess.
Apr 4, 2008
4,650
6,090
Colorado
Tomorrow it will be one year since Alysia died.

This is the post I wrote at the old boards when it happened. A dear, sweet friend has become an angel

It has been an incredibly difficult year, but there have been many blessings, too.

My daughter Anya turned 18 right after Alysia passed, and will be turning 19 next week. We had always celebrated their birthdays together, so it's still strange to think that Alysia will always be 17.

I did speak at her service, and it went well. People only laughed at the parts they were supposed to, and I didn't throw up even once.

Janet has been doing so much better than I think anyone else could have. But she had to be stronger than the average mother to help Alysia through the day to day roller coaster she lived, so I guess it makes sense that she would be stronger than the average mother at facing each day's grief.

I miss Alysia, and I don't expect that will ever stop. What I wasn't prepared for was the extra helping of sorrow as things happen that I know she would have wanted to be a part of.

And I know this is ridiculous, but I get kind of frustrated when I see that there are new seasons being made of the TV shows she loved, or sequels coming out of her favorite movies. I do completely understand that they weren't making those just for Alysia, but it still feels wrong that they keep happening. Like no one alerted the world that it's time to stop all of the things she enjoyed, now that their is no reason for them to continue, right?

Like I said, it's ridiculous.

So, we're just taking it day by day. There are plenty of happy memories, and we keep making more while we can. Life is good, and if there is anything we've learned in the last year, it's to save the joy and beauty and toss the rest.

I don't know what this next year will bring. I'm sure we will learn and grow because the only alternative is to get hard and bitter and no one's up for that. :)

Thank you for reading all of this. I don't have any questions, or need anything. I just needed to let this out.
 

skimom2

Just moseyin' through...
Oct 9, 2013
15,683
92,168
USA
Tomorrow it will be one year since Alysia died.

This is the post I wrote at the old boards when it happened. A dear, sweet friend has become an angel

It has been an incredibly difficult year, but there have been many blessings, too.

My daughter Anya turned 18 right after Alysia passed, and will be turning 19 next week. We had always celebrated their birthdays together, so it's still strange to think that Alysia will always be 17.

I did speak at her service, and it went well. People only laughed at the parts they were supposed to, and I didn't throw up even once.

Janet has been doing so much better than I think anyone else could have. But she had to be stronger than the average mother to help Alysia through the day to day roller coaster she lived, so I guess it makes sense that she would be stronger than the average mother at facing each day's grief.

I miss Alysia, and I don't expect that will ever stop. What I wasn't prepared for was the extra helping of sorrow as things happen that I know she would have wanted to be a part of.

And I know this is ridiculous, but I get kind of frustrated when I see that there are new seasons being made of the TV shows she loved, or sequels coming out of her favorite movies. I do completely understand that they weren't making those just for Alysia, but it still feels wrong that they keep happening. Like no one alerted the world that it's time to stop all of the things she enjoyed, now that their is no reason for them to continue, right?

Like I said, it's ridiculous.

So, we're just taking it day by day. There are plenty of happy memories, and we keep making more while we can. Life is good, and if there is anything we've learned in the last year, it's to save the joy and beauty and toss the rest.

I don't know what this next year will bring. I'm sure we will learn and grow because the only alternative is to get hard and bitter and no one's up for that. :)

Thank you for reading all of this. I don't have any questions, or need anything. I just needed to let this out.
Jen, it will never be easy, but it will get easier. This year may be harder than last--the first year it seems to me that you're sort of numb from shock. Be good to Janet. Take care of you and yours. It does get easier.
 

hipmamajen

Rebel Rebel, your face is a mess.
Apr 4, 2008
4,650
6,090
Colorado
Thank you to everyone.

It wasn't as bad as I thought it might be. I spent a lot of time thinking about Alysia, but they were happy memories.

Janet invited a group of family friends to meet up to see a movie together last night, because that was a fun thing we could do with Lys. We saw Maze Runner, which was really good except
a very sweet, sympathetic child dies
.

Thanks again for all the kind words, advise, and encouragement. It has really helped.