NEWS BLOT: New Standards Of Conduct

[Out of Order]

I was allowed to keep those. I still have them somewhere

Knowing your history I'm surprised you don't wear them all the time.......

 

[Grandpa]

I wouldn't say I'm not coordinated with tools, but it's only to be polite to myself.

I'm told off and on that I'm a patient guy, but it's only by people who haven't seen me on a home improvement project. I think I've narrowed down the problem. I just want a straight line from beginning to end.

But when you're installing a new faucet, or putting down flooring, or fixing an engine, there's not a straight line. There's not. There's inexact measurements, rusted bolts, missing pieces, improperly placed attachments. To the person who loves the DIY thing, they're challenges to work through and overcome. It proves mastery. To the person who just wants to get the accursed project done, they are spike-studded roadblocks of the day that suck meaningful life out of you.

I finally subscribed to the theory, I think I read from Dave Barry, that for jaspers like me, DIY projects cost three times as much as hiring them out. Because first you buy the stuff, then you spend days of your life that you'll never get back doing it wrong, then you've got to hire someone to tear out the offending attempt, repair the things that you didn't realize you were damaging, and do the project right.

 

[DiO'Bolic]

I started small, with the flower bed.....it looked pretty good, so I figured I was ready to tackle some of the steeper areas of the yard.
I put on my safety goggles, and headed for the front of the house, and apparently the inevitable doom that awaited.....

So I started at the top of the bank, with my back facing toward the slope......why I thought it was a good idea to work backwards, is beyond anyone's perspective.... but I was happily moving along, and thinking wow, I'm getting pretty good at this.....
Well, for some reason, I'm not the most coordinated person in the world, and I stepped backward at the same time I was swinging the weed eater in the opposite direction.....I slipped on a rock....yeah, that's it....a rock....and somehow did some kind of weird somersault, landing on my butt and sliding down to the road on my back.....all the while still holding the weed eater up in the air, and yelling in an unknown tongue.

My brother came down to where I was now laying in the street, asked me if I was alright....and took the weed eater from me.....never to be seen again.

LOL. Next time you use power tools, someone’s got to video it. I can picture you going down the hill, weedeater in hand, with those cutting lines still blazing away. And you landed in the street? Never thought of weed whacking as a life threatening experience.

 

[DiO'Bolic]

Both of those stories will have to be told another day.....I've gotta go to work.

Does anyone else see the irony in the fact that such a danger prone, clumsy person is allowed to work with very sharp objects?

If you clip the ear, is the cut free? (and do people find it odd that you put goggles on before starting the cut?)

 

[Spideyman]

I started small, with the flower bed.....it looked pretty good, so I figured I was ready to tackle some of the steeper areas of the yard.
I put on my safety goggles, and headed for the front of the house, and apparently the inevitable doom that awaited.....

So I started at the top of the bank, with my back facing toward the slope......why I thought it was a good idea to work backwards, is beyond anyone's perspective.... but I was happily moving along, and thinking wow, I'm getting pretty good at this.....
Well, for some reason, I'm not the most coordinated person in the world, and I stepped backward at the same time I was swinging the weed eater in the opposite direction.....I slipped on a rock....yeah, that's it....a rock....and somehow did some kind of weird somersault, landing on my butt and sliding down to the road on my back.....all the while still holding the weed eater up in the air, and yelling in an unknown tongue.

My brother came down to where I was now laying in the street, asked me if I was alright....and took the weed eater from me.....never to be seen again.

Oh Sunny, you have no idea how much I needed that story this morning. ( still no net and this 3G is iffy) Whackers are dangerous, but that picture was priceless. Thankful you are OK. Find a family member or teen to finish up the job. Love and green lights!!

 

[Dana Jean]

I started small, with the flower bed.....it looked pretty good, so I figured I was ready to tackle some of the steeper areas of the yard.
I put on my safety goggles, and headed for the front of the house, and apparently the inevitable doom that awaited.....

So I started at the top of the bank, with my back facing toward the slope......why I thought it was a good idea to work backwards, is beyond anyone's perspective.... but I was happily moving along, and thinking wow, I'm getting pretty good at this.....
Well, for some reason, I'm not the most coordinated person in the world, and I stepped backward at the same time I was swinging the weed eater in the opposite direction.....I slipped on a rock....yeah, that's it....a rock....and somehow did some kind of weird somersault, landing on my butt and sliding down to the road on my back.....all the while still holding the weed eater up in the air, and yelling in an unknown tongue.

My brother came down to where I was now laying in the street, asked me if I was alright....and took the weed eater from me.....never to be seen again.

THis is what I pictured: Only replace the gun with a weedwhacker.

 

[Dana Jean]

I have chopped up my ankles with weed whackers. Sort of a more revved up Epilady.

 

[Dana Jean]

THis is what I pictured: Only replace the gun with a weedwhacker.

In fact Sunny, can you please do a reenactment of this weed whacking ballet?. Preferrably slo mo.

 

[Out of Order]

I have chopped up my ankles with weed whackers. Sort of a more revved up Epilady.

No! No! it isn't...........

 

[DiO'Bolic]

I have chopped up my ankles with weed whackers. Sort of a more revved up Epilady.

I’ve chopped up me legs with weed whackers also. I there is a comparison to an Epilady whatsoever, then all I can say is you women are out of your ever lovin' freakin’ mind for ever using the thing.

 

[Dana Jean]

I’ve chopped up me legs with weed whackers also. I there is a comparison to an Epilady whatsoever, then all I can say is you women are out of your ever lovin' freakin’ mind for ever using the thing.

Think epilady on Steroids in the middle of a roid fit.

 

[Out of Order]

You two should have Sunny come over and give a few pointers on whacking.

 

[DiO'Bolic]

Think epilady on Steroids in the middle of a roid fit.

You paint such a lovely image. Somehow I don't think Epilady will be using that in their next ad campaign.

 

[Dana Jean]

You paint such a lovely image. Somehow I don't think Epilady will be using that in their next ad campaign.

Damn.

 

[Out of Order]

I'm surprised Dana Jean even has a weed whacker. You'd have thought she would have that hoard of goats living with her do the dirty work........

 

[Dana Jean]

You two should have Sunny come over and give a few pointers on whacking.

In my attempt to show her how to do it, I would wrap the plastic whacker cord around sunny's little body and fling her around like a fly in a spider web.

 

[Dana Jean]

I'm surprised Dana Jean even has a weed whacker. You'd have thought she would have that hoard of goats living with her do the dirty work........

Well, goats eat everything and I do have a nice yard and garden, so I would have to have a designated goat free range area.

 

[Out of Order]

In my attempt to show her how to do it, I would wrap the plastic whacker cord around sunny's little body and fling her around like a fly in a spider web.

Poor thing, won't that make her a bit dizzy(er)........................

 

[Dana Jean]

THis is what I pictured: Only replace the gun with a weedwhacker.

Okay, quoting myself again.

I am laughing so hard watching this clip and picturing sunny. hahaoheohaoha! uh, hoahoehaoha! whew. hoahohaohaoha!

 

[Out of Order]

Okay, quoting myself again.

I am laughing so hard watching this clip and picturing sunny. hahaoheohaoha! uh, hoahoehaoha! whew. hoahohaohaoha!

Well, Sunny could borrow that Ronald Reagan mask from DiO. I'm sure he's got a few dozen extra kicking about.