Yay I bet each time he goes out,it will get easier.
Pacing pacing pacing...
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Didn’t make it. No interstate highways back then. Soon after we got across the NY border, traffic came to a complete halt. Many of the cars were just abandoned on the roads and the kids just hitchhiked to the concert. My friend’s older brother and his friend decided they would also hitchhike there and stay until it ended, but couldn’t do it with us younger kids. So they drove us back, threw us out of the car at my parent’s house, and went back to the concert. When we got into the house the jig was up because my mother knew what we had done, and she specifically told me I couldn’t go - even with my cousin who went (I tried to convince her beforehand that it was an art festival -- as it was actually called the Woodstock Music & Art Fair, and I wanted to become an artist at the time). So I went to Woodstock and all I got was a beating from a mad Irish mother, and a T-shirt from my friend’s brother. Also, my brothers friend said by the time Hendrix played, just about everyone had already left -- so pretty much no one saw Hendrix.
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He scored
Attaboy... Good for him.
(what can I say, I also coach girls softball in my free time. Those things - like winning and scoring are important to the kids no matter what people say about merely "participating" as the main goal.
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We didn't have streetlights. We went home when it was too dark to see the baseball.We used to just have to come home when the streetlights came on..
My daughter is 12, and I know I harbor much more apprehension with her going off with friends. When she had her first sleepover with the girls in her class, I had to make myself not pick up the phone and call to make sure everything was ok.....the wine helped.
Yes - and I don't recall anyone looking for me, checking on me, or feeding me at all from the time I was told to go play outside until it was dark enough to make me go to bed. Times have surely changed.We used to just have to come home when the streetlights came on..
I feel your pain honey! I have a very hard time letting mine go anywhere. I still panic when my 22 year old goes more than an hour without responding to a text.So... home from work and school. For the first time in my boys 10 years, he has gone to play football, with some friends from across the road, on his own, up in the village. First time I've ever let him anywhere on his own. They knocked for him (a mate in his class, who lives opposite, with his 2 older brothers), and asked. I kinda hoped he'd say no. But his face lit up, quick change, lots of whispered words from me (be careful, look when crossing road, be careful, be careful, BE CAREFUL). So I'm now destined to spend the next hour pacing the living room.
No mobile. Am I bad, is that too young? Or am I sad, got to cut those strings sometime?!!!
No, you're a regular Mom. He'll be fine and so will you.So... home from work and school. For the first time in my boys 10 years, he has gone to play football, with some friends from across the road, on his own, up in the village. First time I've ever let him anywhere on his own. They knocked for him (a mate in his class, who lives opposite, with his 2 older brothers), and asked. I kinda hoped he'd say no. But his face lit up, quick change, lots of whispered words from me (be careful, look when crossing road, be careful, be careful, BE CAREFUL). So I'm now destined to spend the next hour pacing the living room.
No mobile. Am I bad, is that too young? Or am I sad, got to cut those strings sometime?!!!
Glad to hear it. Ten years old nowadays seems like 5 five years old when I was a kid. At five, I was coming home from school by myself, doing chores, it was just common place, just about all of my friends and I were "latch key" kids. I lived in a much, much smaller community than my son is growing up in so I know that is one difference but he just doesn't seem as...I don't know...paranoid...as I think he should be. Getting old is a pain in the arse sometimes. Trying to impart knowledge you've obtained over years of experience to a 9 year old is just sometimes friggin' impossible. Do you burst their bubble of innocence? Do you let them know exactly who or what may be out there without coming off as a paranoid, over-protective "drag" of a parent? I sometimes don't like how much time he spends playing video games, but then I think to myself "at least he's here, in the house, where I know he's at least safe from what I know for a fact is lurking out there." I usually check myself when I walk into his room and are about to tell him to go outside and play or just get out from in front of the TV for a while. What if he goes out to the woods behind our house and never comes back? What if someone is out there, waiting, watching for a kid by himself? If that happened, after I smoked the person responsible of course, how the hell could I ever forgive myself? Is it possible to be a good parent and your kid's friend? I was never friends with my dad, but I was sure as hell afraid of him and the lessons he taught me about not trusting people offering rides or anything else stuck like glue in my mind and still do. I don't want to make my kid deathly afraid of me but how do you strike that balance? Is it possible? Guess I'll find out in a few years. He still thinks I'm cool right now, but I figure that will end sometime in the next few years. There doesn't seem to be any instruction manuals for kids no matter how old they get. As they get older, you seem to just trade one set of hurdles for another. Can I be seven years old again please?He's back. Bless his heart. Thanks guys, i'm a numpty...
Exactly right. My parents both worked all day, they usually left around 7am, so especially in the summer, I was literally on my own. I would leave in the morning to play ball or ride bikes, whatever, by myself or with friends, come back home for lunch that I made myself, and sometimes not come home till after dark. It was never considered a big deal. I would go fishing down the river in my town, for hours, literally no one knew where I was. I never gave it a thought at the time. I know my kid's whereabouts at all times from the day he was born pretty much until today...weird, such a difference 35 years makes....
You are a good mum, M. Claire... it is so scary until we get used to this. I hope it all went well.
Give him his space, but remember--you're the adult. You have last say.
...sweetheart, you have simply joined the ranks of an enormous army of loving parents...and bless yer heart-what a good mum, he's a lucky young'un, even if he doesn't realize that now...and like my brother Ghost-I often questioned if I was doing enough, doing it right etc....and kids will drive you crazy, let you down, lift you high-but in the end, all you can do is love, watch, protect and hope...
So I guess it doesn't get any easier as they get older? Dammit......
Exactly! Be proud of him for actually VENTURING OUTDOORS! lol.
Normal mum *hugs* Now go have a drink (if you imbibe) and relaxHe's back
...you've read my other threads brother, you know it doesn't.....
Nope. My oldest is 20, and he still has to call if he's going to be out super late (my house, my rules--as long as he lives here, that's non-negotiable). It's a slight comfort when it gets past midnight (lol), but it's something. I still worry.
This is only my opinion, of course, but I have a wad of parent experience under my belt (lol), and a deep love and respect for my military veteran dad who taught me to be aware but not scared. The answer is 'no'. This isn't true forever, but for now your kids need you to be a parent more than a friend. You'll find a way to caution without making your kid fearful, I know that just from the tone of your posts. There are more dangers now, no doubt about it, but we also suffer from too much information. Our parents had the luxury of just being cautious of local events--pre-CNN it had to be a HUGE event to make news across the country, right? Now we're bombarded with 'information' that is more often 'infotainment', stuff that in no way is relevant to our lives and is just there so we can collectively look at other people's proverbial car crashes. It's made us more cautious, but perhaps more fearful than our actual lives warrant. Think if it this way: when was the last time there was a notable crime in your area that did not involve direct family members or friends/acquaintances hurting each other? Okay, so subtract those from the 'fearfulness equation'--unless you have a friend' acquaintance/family member with grudge, those don't affect you. Now look at what's left. THOSE are the things you need to make sure your kids is aware of (as well as a general awareness of his surroundings). Maybe it's drug trade, maybe it's gangs, maybe it's a busy street--I don't know where you live, but you do. Do your best to teach your kid how to handle those situations and himself in general, have reasonable limits and set costs for pushing past those limits, and don't be afraid to make him mad. Believe me, he'll likely spend years 13-17 mad a lot of the time. They get over it. Later, when you are not responsible for him any more (not like you'll EVER get over feeling responsible), you can be friends. At that point, you will have done the best you can to raise a decent human being--one who takes responsibility for his own life and actions, and isn't afraid of living in the world.
You'll do it, Ghost, and he'll thank you. It might take a while, but he will learn how lucky he was to have a dad who cared enough to make him a man.
Now I'll get off my soapbox--lol
So... home from work and school. For the first time in my boys 10 years, he has gone to play football, with some friends from across the road, on his own, up in the village. First time I've ever let him anywhere on his own. They knocked for him (a mate in his class, who lives opposite, with his 2 older brothers), and asked. I kinda hoped he'd say no. But his face lit up, quick change, lots of whispered words from me (be careful, look when crossing road, be careful, be careful, BE CAREFUL). So I'm now destined to spend the next hour pacing the living room.
No mobile. Am I bad, is that too young? Or am I sad, got to cut those strings sometime?!!!
Not bad, or sad --you're a mom.
