The interior language of a marriage

Discussion in 'Lisey's Story' started by skimom2, Mar 6, 2014.

  1. skimom2

    skimom2 Just moseyin' through...

    I've been thinking about John D. quite a bit lately, and how very much he loved Lisey's Story. Being superstitious as hell about going with your gut and the messages it wants to give you, I pulled it off the shelf after a very long time. And now I remember why I've only read it once before: I was up all night, teary a great deal of the time. With no sleep and eyes that feel like boiled onions, I realized that as hard as the book was to read at 16 years of marriage, it's even harder at 23. To me, the core of Lisey's isn't the hugger-mugger of time/space travel and the long boy (though he is definitely shudderworthy); the real meat of the thing is that inner language and how you can never, never, never know everything about anybody.

    I'm 46, so I've been married literally half of my life. HALF MY LIFE. And we were together for a couple of years before marriage, so... yeah. Yet still, surprises pop up from The Man just about every week--random bits and pieces of memories, childhood experiences, thoughts--that make me go. "Well crap! NOW I understand where (XYZ) is coming from. I never knew that!" And we forever mystify our kids/friends/ family with odd phrases that mean nothing to anyone outside our cocoon of two.

    Lisey's Story is one of the truest books about a long-term relationship that I've ever read. From the moments when Lisey remembers the times you just have to put your head down and muscle through it (had a few of those) to the highs of being absolutely in sync (and some of those, too), they feel right and painful and joyous and absolutely REAL. This is Mr. King's most 'literary' book, as well. He does things with language and time and pacing and style that are a wonder to behold. I have no idea how in hell they plan to film it (that's another thread, I guess), but I'm glad John D led me back to it (boiled onion eyes and all). I was talking to BH about it last night, the interior language of marriage, and he got got the quirkiest smile... then picked up the book and started reading (a shocker, since he usually reads nothing but non-fiction).

    I predict some interesting conversations to come :)
     
    Last edited: Mar 6, 2014
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  2. Moderator

    Moderator Ms. Mod Administrator

    That was lovely. :) Let us know what he thinks of it.
     
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  3. HollyGolightly

    HollyGolightly Well-Known Member

    Lovely post @skimom2 - we are going on 23 years as well, and we are both 44 . I need to reread Lisey's Story with different eyes. Marriage certainly has its peaks and valleys - and true -just when you think you know everything about a person -here comes another surprise. Some good surprises, some not so good - we're in it for the long haul.
     
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  4. skimom2

    skimom2 Just moseyin' through...

    Exactly. At the part where
    Scott is sinking (mentally): Lisey wakes in the night and can't find him, and the thoughts that go through her brain are heart attack, stroke...
    Man, that hit home. The first time I read it, we were still in our 30s, but now we're pushing 50 (BH is almost 49)... That sense of mortality is so much greater now. I admit to at least one nightwaking where he was TOO quiet and for my own peace of mind I had to feel for breath--lol. To be in Lisey's position feels frighteningly more real now.
     
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  5. Shasta

    Shasta On his shell he holds the earth.

    I read it both before and after being married. As yesterday was my eight year anniversary, I think this is a very timely post. My husband and I went through the hardest year ever two years ago and we made it. You've inspired me to read it again as a married woman who's now been through the trenches. Can't wait!
     
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  6. Out of Order

    Out of Order What Christmas is All About

    Happy Anniversary, Shasta!
     
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  7. Shasta

    Shasta On his shell he holds the earth.

    Thank you! We're not big anniversary people normally but this one was huge for us.

    After digging in and fighting for our marriage we definitely had the best year as a couple that we'd ever had!!!
     
  8. skimom2

    skimom2 Just moseyin' through...

    OT, a bit, but your comment is so interesting to me. I can't count the couples I've known that have the same 'hard' marriage years: at 6 or 7 years, again at 14-15, and then at around 25. I know 7 and 14 we're definitely 'head down & gut it out' years for us. 25 is sort of making me nervous (lol), but I guess I have about a year and a half to yoink up my big girl drawers and grit my teeth for it :)
     
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  9. Shasta

    Shasta On his shell he holds the earth.

    I swear, though, if you can make it through those years you can make it through anything!!!
     
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  10. skimom2

    skimom2 Just moseyin' through...

    Hallelujah and amen, sister
     
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  11. HollyGolightly

    HollyGolightly Well-Known Member

    Hmm, years 2 - 8 were tough - the toughest - for us. I know 2 couples who have been married 20 years and are getting a divorce right now. I'm dumbfounded. I hope we don't reach that point.
     
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  12. skimom2

    skimom2 Just moseyin' through...

    Yup. It's like someone hit on their partner's Boo'Ya Moon (great metaphor for the places we mostly never see in other people)--that place Billy Joel sang about, that Stranger face--and went, "Nope. Can't go there. Don't want to know."
     
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  13. VultureLvr45

    VultureLvr45 Well-Known Member

    We are a 'long termer' as well (23 this year). I do think there is a bit of truth in the old wives tale of the 7 year 'itch', and multiples of 7 count too...

    We are really different people (ex. I love to read, he hates to read. I'm disorganized, he is neat..) from different backgrounds, but I think forgiveness and working as a family team has helped us through some difficult times.
     
  14. Neesy

    Neesy #1 fan (Annie Wilkes cousin) 1st cousin Mom's side

    Okay I just have to ask - what do the letters "BH" stand for - the second letter is husband but what does the first letter stand for? "Best"? as in 'Best Husband'?
     
  15. Autumn Gust

    Autumn Gust Well-Known Member

    I'm pretty sure it stands for "better half", a term some people use to describe their mate.
     
  16. Neesy

    Neesy #1 fan (Annie Wilkes cousin) 1st cousin Mom's side

    Okay - that makes sense!~ I never thought of that one - thank you! :idea:
     
  17. not_nadine

    not_nadine Comfortably Roont

    I truly hope JD is happy and that he and "own" Lisey still looks down on these new boards..

    Lovely post, ski.
     
  18. GNTLGNT

    GNTLGNT Why Chew Through The Restraints?

    ...the dialogue in our marriage boils down to the "look" I get from Tracy when I once again have shown my ass...literally or figuratively...
     
  19. HollyGolightly

    HollyGolightly Well-Known Member

    I never knew that ! Thanks for clearing it up. I like to call mine "the ogre". Ogres have layers .
     
  20. Out of Order

    Out of Order What Christmas is All About

    So do onions........:)
     
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