Why I am still so afraid.......

[Jojo87]

.... I and my boyfriend love each other very much, we have a lot of plans to do together
this summer. We are seeing each other everyday and miss each other if we can't be
together. So why I am so afraid that he is gonna leave me or break up. He is busy with all kind
of things sometimes. Now he fixes his boat and tomorrow it should be ready. If he don't call me
in many hours I immediately get the feeling that now he has left me. Oh no he always call me and
said his been busy and then tell me that he love me. We have been dating for almost two
months and last Sunday I was and visited his relatives with him and all went well. And today I was with him when he picked up his car from the car maintenance. He called if I can come and pick
him up and drive him to the place where his car was. So I did. He told me couple of days ago that he's gonna give me the key to his apartment. Wow next step into our relationship. I almost live with him already when I spend so much time in his apartment.

I wish this weird feeling I have could go away but I still have it. Hopefully I get over it that
day when we move in together.

 

[Moderator]

You're afraid that your past experiences will repeat themselves which is a natural response but things can and do happen differently. Maybe think about being happy that those other relationships didn't work out because now you're with the "right" person. If you believe that what you put out into the world returns to you, try to make sure that you're thinking positive thoughts about the relationship continuing instead of the fearful ones.

 

[Christine62]

What you need what us old folks call DETACHMENT. Some develop it by depending on God more than any other human being--because the Big G never leaves--ever. Others do it by sheer will. You can also play the mental game of So? So if he leaves are you going to self combust and die? What's the worst that will happen? Mentally prepare for him to leave and play it out in your head and you will see that the world will not end --it never does and life goes on you meet someone else or not. Sorry Im not all romantic and mushy but it's true. Live one day at a time==like the drunks do and enjoy your boyfriend because he probablly won't leave you but he might get hit by a bus. (this is a stephen king site after all!)

 

[EMARX]

Use the Sisu, Jo. ( It's like using the Force, in Star Wars.)

 

[arista]

I would say enjoy each day. You never know when you might get another moment, much less a day. Love as much as possible.

 

[Christine62]

I would say enjoy each day. You never know when you might get another moment, much less a day. Love as much as possible.

Yeah what arista said!

 

[Jojo87]

He have a bad habit, he is smoking. When we been together long enough I'll try to make him quit smoking. I mean I don't want that he die
in lung cancer or anything when he is 60 or 70 and I became a widow too early.

 

[Spideyman]

Johanna- stay in the positives. That which you manifest is before you. Think about a good relationship. Everyone needs "me" time. At least he calls to tell you he is busy doing things in his life. Just as you are also busy doing things in your life. Relax and let go. Be Pooh. Allow the relationship to develop, without fears. If it is truly meant to be, it will be. That Dark Tower saying-- If God wills it........
put the past relationships in the past and move forward with this one. Much love and only green lights!!

 

[Christine62]

can't change him you can only change you

Great Prayer in AA

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
Change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference

 

[Jojo87]

Oh thank you so much my friends. I can always count on you. One reason why I wanted to share it only with you, because it's been
bothering me for awhile now.

 

[Lepplady]

Don't be worried or nervous. Have confidence in yourself. You're a wonderful person and he's lucky to have you.
Never let anybody make you feel like you're less than worthy. Not even yourself.

 

[HollyGolightly]

Savor the moment, Jojo! Love is precious. True love will endure. It may drag you over the coals of Hell at times, but it will work out if it's true. I think this is how it goes, but I don't know if anyone really knows how or why. My priest/boss/friend told me once that marriage is an eternal sacrifice of self. That's about right - but both people have to give up themselves for each other, or it doesn't work right.

 

[fushingfeef]

When you have something that's precious to you, it's only natural to be afraid of losing it. Just don't let that fear turn into a problem for the relationship, both parties need some freedom for the relationship to thrive, just as a plant needs some space to grow. Over time you will become more comfortable. Besides, you are a wonderful loving person who has a lot to offer, so he's probably just as afraid of losing you!

 

[HMW]

Never let anybody make you feel like you're less than worthy. Not even yourself.

As long as those wise words are not misinterpreted into being ”entitled”, they are worth framing and hanging on your wall.
Elegantly put Lepplady.

PS. My favourite is High 'N' Dry. Not too much of a fan of the, eh, ”pop metal” albums. DS

 

[Lepplady]

As long as those wise words are not misinterpreted into being ”entitled”, they are worth framing and hanging on your wall.
Elegantly put Lepplady.

PS. My favourite is High 'N' Dry. Not too much of a fan of the, eh, ”pop metal” albums. DS

Just worthy. Not entitled. Equal to anybody else involved, not superior. Not inferior.
Good taste! One of my favorites is Slang. It's got some great work on it. Not too "pop"-y.

 

[bookworm101]

Just breath and enjoy every day. Worry is paying a debt not owed.

 

[hipmamajen]

First of all, (((((jojo)))))

It's hard in the beginning of any relationship, you don't have any history with this person to rely on. So, you're left with what has happened with other people, and for some folks those memories are sad and scary.

The only thing you can do now is try to relax into this experience, and let him show he's trustworthy by being there for you. In the meantime, remind yourself that you are a perfectly wonderful and amazing person on your own, and if he does leave, you will be fine.

Give him the space he needs, and when you're feeling anxious take care of yourself. Only time will tell if he is who you want him to be, but if so, it will all be worth it!

 

[skimom2]

You really haven't known each other very long--if you weren't a bit cautious, I'd worry about you. Doesn't mean you need to be a doom crow, but acknowledge your feelings. Then you can proceed like an adult: trust after consideration & love with your eyes open. Best wishes for you both.

 

[Neesy]

You really haven't known each other very long--if you weren't a bit cautious, I'd worry about you. Doesn't mean you need to be a doom crow, but acknowledge your feelings. Then you can proceed like an adult: trust after consideration & love with your eyes open. Best wishes for you both.

A Doom Crow

I have never heard this expression before

 

[blunthead]

Thoughts and prayers for you and your guy, Jojo.

(((((Jojo and Friend)))))