Now that the shock has settled and we have watched the wonderful "things and ways" we have to hold onto, to go back and remember Mr. Williams, the "TALK" about depression has subsided, we aren't thinking about it as much and have went on with our day to day living.... Well MOST of us, others NOT so much....
The temporary feelings of being down and sad over the shocking news have moved to the back of many minds and back to life they go.
For a depressive it doesn't work like that, the days are always long and we trudge through them, forcing ourselves to LIVE and I believe that is what may be a cause.. THE FORCING... it wears you out. Smiling, acting like you are ok, when inside you are not ok, but no one wants to hear it, they have problems of their own, etc.... SO we keep quiet(the depressive person),it's like carrying around say a 10 lb. bag of potatoes, at the end of the day it feels like 50 pounds, you feel weak, your arms hurt, you will be tired of carrying it at the end of the day and you can't wait to put that bag down and feel free of the potatoes. Having the RELIEF of putting the potatoes down makes you feel better, FREE.
A depressive wants the burden of carrying the weight of all of their burdens, worries, and any illness' to let go of them OR the they find a way to make it all go away and at the darkest hour they make think it will all stop if I do this, not necessarily life itself,they just want out of the dark place they have been driven to. The pain to stop.
My sister talked about it like she was going away on a trip, she told me I just want to go away-( never said I want to die)- want to be free to live a normal life. They aren't delusional ( again not saying all are or are not- just my insight an opinion on what I have learned over the past 13 years) more like tunnel vision, they want that light at the end of it, freedom from pain.
I have looked back at my sisters pictures over and over and there is a sadness in her eyes even if she had a smile on her face. After watching the countless interviews of Mr. Williams, I see in him the same quiet sadness in his eyes and in his normal speaking voice, he is soft spoken almost shy like, I know it was no secret about his battles, but I really looked at him and watched him in a different way after his passing and it's saddening to the point of being heart breaking to see. The last few episodes I watched of his latest sitcom, THE CRAZY ONES, he didn't have much spark and spunk in his character or his own face and eyes.
** I am just giving you my insight of how I have come to understand such a loss and in no way based on any facts, very few are saved and if they are- they are angry because they didn't want saved ( I talked with a lady who lost her daughter after two attempts and what she could get out of her daughter of why she was trying to die, surprisingly her answer to her mom was I don't want to die- I just want it all to stop, don't you get it? )
I'm going to leave you with this to read over and think about, I'm no DR., Psychiatrist an certainly no expert. Just hoping to help, in any little way I can.
It's 3 a.m. I need to get to bed now...
HUGS and LOVE and LIGHT to ALL ♥