I was there for all three. Grandma was Natural Earth Mother. Didn't want drugs, did fine. First kid labor, six hours, and there's an enjoyable story to that when time and readers' patience allows. Second kid labor, three hours, not much to talk about except the labor monitor tape. Third kid labor, hour and a half.
If you're following the math, labor duration was cut in half each time. I joked that we couldn't have another, because 45 minutes wouldn't be enough time to get her to the hospital.
The third time, on the penultimate ob-gyn visit, the doc said she was somewhat dilated, so it would happen soon enough, but come back in two weeks, and he'd induce. Went back in two weeks, bag packed, and he said let's hold off for another week, and she flat refused. She insisted they get it done. Apparently, she wasn't in tune with the doc who
wasn't walking around all day with a bowling ball in his belly.
So we went to the hospital, he punched the water bag, and the contractions started immediately. It went a little like
DiO'Bolic 's experience. The willowy, winsome med tech helping us thought we were all cool and lovely, and it was her first birth, so she couldn't wait to see the whole thing and be there with us, and we were enjoying her enthusiasm, too, but... well, it was her lunch half hour. I said, "You'll miss it." She said, no she'd be back, and left.
She missed it. We got taken to the labor room, everyone left the room, Grandma said, "It's happening," (although she didn't say it just so casually, like, "I need to get the mail"). I picked up the phone, snarled at the people at the other end, and speaking of the other end, ran back to the business side of things, and the baby was crowning. I was holding my hands out and wishing I had a catcher's mitt, a basket, something.
The medical crowd suddenly stormed the room, and there was no gowning or scrubbing or anything like that (although we probably got billed for it). The doc took snips and did the epis without a local, and my girl is going, "Ow! Ow!" A few minutes later, we had our little one, all happy to have him, and pi$$ed at the medical types who wouldn't listen to us.
What ever happened to the good old days of my first child’s birth when the father stayed in the waiting room, the doctor came in and said congrats, and you handed out cigars?
Honestly, I wouldn't have missed any of them. Most profound moments of my life. (And I'm not a tobacco guy anyway.)