I Could Really Use Your Help Stephen King.

[staropeace]

Get yourself some help with depression. It will make a big difference on how you present yourself to others. Ask yourself if these intense feelings of needing the girl's attention is normal because your feelings about it seem excessive. That could be just a facet of some other deeper problem. Depression can be treated very effectively these days. Do yourself a favor....you do not need to suffer.

 

[FlakeNoir]

Thank you for your concern, clearly I lack the means to win this girl over with my words or else i would have done so already. I'm depressed because the one thing I believe in(love) is failing me and there is nothing I can do.

Staro (message above) has some very good advice.

 

[Walter Oobleck]

I've been where you are, Jordan_Ten...more than a couple times. Unfortunately, you cannot make someone love you. If love were that easy, it would not be love. I don't doubt your sincerity nor am I trying to make light of your hopes. I've no doubt you love this girl and believe me when I tell you I, among others, have experienced what you are going through. If it is to be it will be and if it is not to be, then you will have to learn to accept that. You will find another to return your love...I did...there was a time when I wanted to cash in my chips. But we both know that's not the answer. Everyone in the world wants to love and to be loved. The odds are in your favor. Too...had an Indian friend, Objibwa...he's moved on to the clearing at the end of the path...but I'll give you the same advice he gave me: Scratch her under her chin. He told me Objibwa women love that, that they get all cuddly. Give it a shot. What do you have to lose? If she slaps your hand once...just ask her is she's feeling all cuddly-like and reach for her chin again. Let me know how it turns out.

 

[not_nadine]

Peace, young Jordan. You have many journeys ahead of you. Keep reading the DT. Have Long Days and Pleasant Nights.

 

[not_nadine]

not my last post.. This one. I was having a chuckle over Walters chin thing.
this one. Did not mean to hijack.

 

[Neesy]

I've been where you are, Jordan_Ten...more than a couple times. Unfortunately, you cannot make someone love you. If love were that easy, it would not be love. I don't doubt your sincerity nor am I trying to make light of your hopes. I've no doubt you love this girl and believe me when I tell you I, among others, have experienced what you are going through. If it is to be it will be and if it is not to be, then you will have to learn to accept that. You will find another to return your love...I did...there was a time when I wanted to cash in my chips. But we both know that's not the answer. Everyone in the world wants to love and to be loved. The odds are in your favor. Too...had an Indian friend, Objibwa...he's moved on to the clearing at the end of the path...but I'll give you the same advice he gave me: Scratch her under her chin. He told me Objibwa women love that, that they get all cuddly. Give it a shot. What do you have to lose? If she slaps your hand once...just ask her is she's feeling all cuddly-like and reach for her chin again. Let me know how it turns out.

Walter! - I am sure in another thread you told us something similar, but your wife thought you were nutz!

 

[Walter Oobleck]

Walter! - I am sure in another thread you told us something similar, but your wife thought you were nutz!

Yes. I remember now...I did. But I'm convinced this Jordan guy can pull it off. And even though the initial chin-scratching, in my case, did not pan out as planned...things worked out as her leg was itchy...or maybe the chin-scratching made her leg itchy and I obliged. I think it's an old Indian trick.

 

[GNTLGNT]

...dude, I appreciate the "I can't live if she doesn't love me" feeling...think we've all been there at least in some fashion...but from the way you've described it-YOU are the one who's head it's screwing with, not hers...you need to take a long look at this from a different angle-and see, that's it's never going to stop being aan phill battle and daily hell trying to "win the lady fair's" affections...way too gothic man...seek help in finding yourself, learn to enjoy your own skin and that in itself will bring the ladies to you...all the best to you...

 

[Todash]

From your intended's possible perspective: being very actively pursued when you do not want to be can feel smothering. To an emotionally healthy person, "I need you SOOO much; I will die without you!" does not feel romantic. It feels alarming and maybe even scary. That approach can easily push the other person away.

I've been where you are. I know it sucks. But harder pursuit will not necessarily get you what you want.

 

[Shasta]

This is the best thread of all time. Seriously.

I'm not sure writing a couple of posts on a message is board is a whole lot of effort, though. But I'm so glad it happened so that I can be delighted at work on a Monday morning.

 

[Sundrop]

Ahh.....to be twenty again, and to have severe lovesickness as my worst worry in life.....

Have you thought about the lady's perspective, though? In all honesty, your posts seem extremely obsessive, and also exhibit an almost stalker like behavior. You may have scared her off by showing such "true affection". I know I would have run like hell in the other direction if someone came on that strong, and said they couldn't live without me, etc.

And your threat about looking for your name in the obituaries if you can't get a personalized autograph from Mr. King.....not cool, man. Not cool at all.
You cannot buy love, and you cannot make someone love you, no matter how badly you wish for it or how hard you try.....it's either there, or it is not.

Please get yourself some really good professional help.....your behavior is not healthy. Not for you, or for anyone close to you.

 

[ghost19]

Is there no way an exception can be made? This is literally my last chance.

Dude, I waited literally thirty years to meet Mr. King and get a book signed by him. It was well worth it.

 

[king family fan]

We all hopefully will get the chance to meet King sometime. But I am sure he sets his rules to be able to have his own life. Tabby probably wants time too. That we as fans must take away. Lots of book signing he does and tours and writing new books.

 

[SharonC]

We'd all love to have Mr. King sign our books, but realistically this wouldn't be possible. Your desperation is getting in the way of your logic, sweetie. I had times when I was younger (many moons ago) where I thought I would die if a guy didn't notice me, or wonder if there was something wrong with me because I didn't have a boyfriend, and cry and get depressed. We all go through it at some point in our lives. We can't make someone love us but we can love ourselves enough so that special someone who is meant for us will come along. What a wonderful feeling that is, believe me! It will happen to you, please be patient. Let go of this dream, and just let things happen. It is worth the wait.

 

[MadamMack]

Thank you for your concern, clearly I lack the means to win this girl over with my words or else i would have done so already. I'm depressed because the one thing I believe in(love) is failing me and there is nothing I can do.

The right girl will like you regardless. Be yourself and don't try to woo with glitter . . .in time you'll realize this.

She must be smokin' hott!

You're a sweetie . . .

 

[ghost19]

I can't imagine knowing at 20 years old what I know now about relationships with women. I understand the feelings you have, this girl is the end all be all of your existence. I don't think there is a more emotionally charged feeling in a young guy's life than being in your age range and falling in love with a girl. The only thing equal and opposite to the feeling you have now is the feeling you're going to have if she does not reciprocate your feelings toward her. There will come a moment, it will be like a light switch has been thrown, where you will realize it just isn't going to happen. In that moment, you will feel more heart sick and worn out than you ever have before. It will seem as if time has stopped and the fates have ignored your one and only true wish, to be with this girl. Try to remember, if you can, that this moment is just that...a moment. In a few months, it may take longer, about a year in my own experience, time and perspective will assert themselves and dilute the pain. I'm not sure the pain every really truly goes away for a guy when it comes to striking out with a lady, especially one you are smitten on. Looking back thru 40 year old eyes to my 18 year old self, my infatuation, pursuit, relationship, and ultimately, being kicked to the curb by the girl I thought hung the moon and stars seems a little bit comical and silly to me now. I understand this doesn't help you much now, but when you're married someday to another woman, and your wife is also your best friend, when you couldn't imagine being with anyone else except your wife, your early endeavors at romantic relationships will seem to pale in comparison. Basically, don't get too hung up on this girl dude, you might end up with her for the rest of your life, but the odds are against it. Your blood will cool with age amigo, getting older has that effect, it has to or I don't thing many of us guys would be able to make it to old, grouchy, SOB status like me....

 

[two gun Dan]

Man, does this bring back memories. Jordon, you’ve got a lot more rushing through your mind than just love and most of it’s working against you. Hormones are raging, what you perceive as your needs are blinding you and controlling your actions and lack of experience deprives you of the knowledge of problems that are inherent in most relationships. The world is a much bigger place than you think when it comes to what people want out of life. Few people want the same things, have the same values or goals. Back up a bit, take this woman out of the picture just for a moment and think about who you are, what are your goals, what do you value? The very best way to approach a relationship is to see if you can be friends first. See if you are headed in the same direction. If not, don’t go any further. No one wants a partner who is clingy, possessive or controlling. You may not see yourself this way but I think many of us can sense this. Everyone needs their space even in a relationship. The obituary thing. Someone told me early on that if you commit suicide then you have just taken away your ability to make anything better, to make any changes or come to any new conclusions. What kind of memories will you be able to make if you check out early? This has kept me from entertaining that route a few times. When I was over seas, I proposed to a woman after knowing her for two weeks. Aint that a hoot! What's more, she took me up on it. Out of all the emotions I think being lonely is the worst. It lasted 17 years but I was very unhappy during most of it. Why spend your time being unhappy. Find a relationship where both of you can be happy.

 

[days be strange]

I can't imagine knowing at 20 years old what I know now about relationships with women. I understand the feelings you have, this girl is the end all be all of your existence. I don't think there is a more emotionally charged feeling in a young guy's life than being in your age range and falling in love with a girl. The only thing equal and opposite to the feeling you have now is the feeling you're going to have if she does not reciprocate your feelings toward her. There will come a moment, it will be like a light switch has been thrown, where you will realize it just isn't going to happen. In that moment, you will feel more heart sick and worn out than you ever have before. It will seem as if time has stopped and the fates have ignored your one and only true wish, to be with this girl. Try to remember, if you can, that this moment is just that...a moment. In a few months, it may take longer, about a year in my own experience, time and perspective will assert themselves and dilute the pain. I'm not sure the pain every really truly goes away for a guy when it comes to striking out with a lady, especially one you are smitten on. Looking back thru 40 year old eyes to my 18 year old self, my infatuation, pursuit, relationship, and ultimately, being kicked to the curb by the girl I thought hung the moon and stars seems a little bit comical and silly to me now. I understand this doesn't help you much now, but when you're married someday to another woman, and your wife is also your best friend, when you couldn't imagine being with anyone else except your wife, your early endeavors at romantic relationships will seem to pale in comparison. Basically, don't get too hung up on this girl dude, you might end up with her for the rest of your life, but the odds are against it. Your blood will cool with age amigo, getting older has that effect, it has to or I don't thing many of us guys would be able to make it to old, grouchy, SOB status like me....

I feel like printing this and hang it on a wall.

 

[Neesy]

I can't imagine knowing at 20 years old what I know now about relationships with women. I understand the feelings you have, this girl is the end all be all of your existence. I don't think there is a more emotionally charged feeling in a young guy's life than being in your age range and falling in love with a girl. The only thing equal and opposite to the feeling you have now is the feeling you're going to have if she does not reciprocate your feelings toward her. There will come a moment, it will be like a light switch has been thrown, where you will realize it just isn't going to happen. In that moment, you will feel more heart sick and worn out than you ever have before. It will seem as if time has stopped and the fates have ignored your one and only true wish, to be with this girl. Try to remember, if you can, that this moment is just that...a moment. In a few months, it may take longer, about a year in my own experience, time and perspective will assert themselves and dilute the pain. I'm not sure the pain every really truly goes away for a guy when it comes to striking out with a lady, especially one you are smitten on. Looking back thru 40 year old eyes to my 18 year old self, my infatuation, pursuit, relationship, and ultimately, being kicked to the curb by the girl I thought hung the moon and stars seems a little bit comical and silly to me now. I understand this doesn't help you much now, but when you're married someday to another woman, and your wife is also your best friend, when you couldn't imagine being with anyone else except your wife, your early endeavors at romantic relationships will seem to pale in comparison. Basically, don't get too hung up on this girl dude, you might end up with her for the rest of your life, but the odds are against it. Your blood will cool with age amigo, getting older has that effect, it has to or I don't thing many of us guys would be able to make it to old, grouchy, SOB status like me....

I feel like printing this and hang it on a wall.

I second that opinion days be strange

 

[Neesy]

Man, does this bring back memories. Jordon, you’ve got a lot more rushing through your mind than just love and most of it’s working against you. Hormones are raging, what you perceive as your needs are blinding you and controlling your actions and lack of experience deprives you of the knowledge of problems that are inherent in most relationships. The world is a much bigger place than you think when it comes to what people want out of life. Few people want the same things, have the same values or goals. Back up a bit, take this woman out of the picture just for a moment and think about who you are, what are your goals, what do you value? The very best way to approach a relationship is to see if you can be friends first. See if you are headed in the same direction. If not, don’t go any further. No one wants a partner who is clingy, possessive or controlling. You may not see yourself this way but I think many of us can sense this. Everyone needs their space even in a relationship. The obituary thing. Someone told me early on that if you commit suicide then you have just taken away your ability to make anything better, to make any changes or come to any new conclusions. What kind of memories will you be able to make if you check out early? This has kept me from entertaining that route a few times. When I was over seas, I proposed to a woman after knowing her for two weeks. Aint that a hoot! What's more, she took me up on it. Out of all the emotions I think being lonely is the worst. It lasted 17 years but I was very unhappy during most of it. Why spend your time being unhappy. Find a relationship where both of you can be happy.

Seventeen years is a long time - I hope you had a few happy memories from that time. My Mom had a good saying (probably not her own original one but she was from Scotland and those guys seem to be just full of quotes):
"Marry in haste, repent at leisure" (hey - you are not the only one of us who has learned the hard way - from experience, that is!)