...well handled and much more neighborly than I would’ve been...
Ka-Tet Cantina
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Thanks, Big Guy. I had to use all my tact, and talk in my professional voice.
You are not a bad neighbor. You are a concerned neighbor. Excellent voice mail. Hope the parents are able to hear the message.
Thanks, Spidey.
The neighbor took the message completely wrong and called to tell me how hurt he is because I didn't trust him to take care of his grandchildren who he dearly loves. He went on to tell me that he is shocked because we have been neighbors all these years, and he thought they were being good neighbors.....even threw in my face that they allowed my daughter to use their rope swing when she was little. I apologized for his feelings, and tried to explain that I am mainly afraid that the children might get hurt, but also that I don't want anyone to sue me if their child got hurt on my property.....he then went on a rant about how he thought I was a better neighbor than that, and if that's how I feel, that they'll just keep to their edge of the hill from now on.
Now I feel awful....
No, you should not feel awful. Sunny, what would his reaction have been IF one of his dearly loved grandchildren had gotten hurt. Then it would have been "your fault" . You do not know what his grandchildren said to him- Did they say you yelled at them, Threatened
them? Just throwing those thought out to you.
He may even feel a tad guilty at allowing his grandchildren to be placed in danger without realizing it.
You were being a good neighbor, you were showing care towards his grandchildren. It was he who did not consider the dangers that were present. Do not feel awful.
Sunny, you can only control your own reactions. Your neighbor needs to get a grip. He sounds highly insecure. My guess is his adult kid, the parent of his grandchildren that he is watching, has made remarks that make him feel inadequate as a reliable babysitter and he's taking it out on you. I would say good riddance but that's just me. Your intentions were right and good and pure. He had no right to talk to you that way. He can lay his lousy disposition on someone else. You're a good person, Sunny. Always remember that. You are a beloved Tet-Mate. Don't let the old grumpy farts of this world get you down.
...tell him to take a flying **** at a rolling donut... that’ll help....
In this day and age you have to CYA on something like that Sunny. It's all fine until one of his grandkids gets hurt while on your property then all of a sudden it's "YOU should have not let them play on that dangerous area of your property", not "Sorry about that, I should have been watching them better", because unfortunately these days parents, grandparents, whoever is in charge of kids nowadays are all about passing the buck on to someone else if a kid gets hurt on their watch. You did the right thing Sunny, you're being responsible, he's just being pissed off until he's able to consider it from your angle.
You're right. I just don't like conflict, especially when someone refuses to see a viewpoint different from their own. I ended the conversation telling him that I am truly sorry for his feelings, and I wouldn't alienate him or his wife intentionally for the world, and I hope that after he gets over being angry I hope that he can reasonably understand my view.
All he could do was keep saying how he had let my daughter play on their rope swing when she was little, making a big deal out of it like I owed them sledding on the hill. He even went so far as to say that she never got hurt on the swing. I had to correct him and tell him that she did in fact, fall off that swing and break her arm. His response to that was to ask if I thought of suing him. I said no, because I'm not like that, but I can't in reality know what would be in another person's mind. He still didn't get it. Acted offended that I'd even think about a neighbor suing me. I tried to explain that we can never be sure what someone else will do, even though we'd like to think the best. He's still pissed off.
I didn't sleep well last night.
((((Sunny)))) You did the right thing. You have handled this situation the right way from the get go, even from when you called to find out your responsibility/liability if anyone were to get hurt. I am sorry your neighbor got offended. It is not the same world it was, even from when your daughter played on their swing....that probably has more to do with his reaction to your message than anything.
My looney tunes neighbors stood outside in their driveway screaming at each other last night. Went on for quite a while. Scott was outside, and another neighbor went outside and stood there with his arms crossed, never said a word, just stood there watching them. Then they decided it was time to take it inside.
They do this pretty frequently. I think they think if they are outside, their kids aren't hearing them...but if we can hear them, their kids are hearing them!! (Who stands outside airing all their grievances for the whole neighborhood to hear?!?)
Takes all kinds to make the world go round, I guess.
My looney tunes neighbors stood outside in their driveway screaming at each other last night. Went on for quite a while. Scott was outside, and another neighbor went outside and stood there with his arms crossed, never said a word, just stood there watching them. Then they decided it was time to take it inside.
They do this pretty frequently. I think they think if they are outside, their kids aren't hearing them...but if we can hear them, their kids are hearing them!! (Who stands outside airing all their grievances for the whole neighborhood to hear?!?)Takes all kinds to make the world go round, I guess.
(((((CAT))))) People sure are crazy, aren't they?((((Sunny)))) You did the right thing. You have handled this situation the right way from the get go, even from when you called to find out your responsibility/liability if anyone were to get hurt. I am sorry your neighbor got offended. It is not the same world it was, even from when your daughter played on their swing....that probably has more to do with his reaction to your message than anything.
My looney tunes neighbors stood outside in their driveway screaming at each other last night. Went on for quite a while. Scott was outside, and another neighbor went outside and stood there with his arms crossed, never said a word, just stood there watching them. Then they decided it was time to take it inside.
Takes all kinds to make the world go round, I guess.
You are "a better neighbor than that." You didn't want his grand kids hurt! And you've said how dangerous this slide area can be. I know this hurts you, but take a deep breath and know you did the right thing. He is bullying you now. Yes. yes he is. He obviously feels if he shames you enough, you will just give in. The atmosphere he is creating is for him to own, not for you to take on as your fault.
And, if he pushes the issue, after you have talked to him this many times and you see these kids again, I would call the authorities. If he doesn't respect you enough to honor your request, then he doesn't deserve your respect back.
He is being the bad neighbor.
It’s a different world we live in today. The days we grew up in are long gone and will never come back with our current sue-happy culture. Bottom line is Good Fences Make Good Neighbors.
Neesy
#1 fan (Annie Wilkes cousin) 1st cousin Mom's side
Neesy
#1 fan (Annie Wilkes cousin) 1st cousin Mom's side
Don't feel bad - you were very diplomatic - it sounds like he did not listen very well to your message and just flew off the handle.
This is what I was trying to say with my comment...DiO got the point across better than I did.
You can't be sure, not in this day and age, not at all. It's all good until a kid gets seriously injured then it's all about who's paying the medical bills and, in an extreme case, who do the police want to talk to about why kids were being allowed to sled on that hill? Looking at a situation from someone else's point of view is not easy in the best of circumstances, much less when someone is angry. Let him cool off a bit, if it creates a permanent rift in your neighbor to neighbor relations with the other family, that sucks, but someone (you in this instance) has to see things from an adult point of view. Get some sleep, he may or may not cool off and try to talk to later about it but either way, it's your property and you're trying to make sure no one gets hurt, not be a killjoy. A true parent would see that in this lawsuit happy day and age.
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