Things you're terrified of?

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Religiously_Unkind

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Aug 19, 2017
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I think the thing that terrifies me the most at the moment is getting older and having a midlife crisis; My dad had a midlife crisis when he hit his late 30's which resulted in him becoming an alcoholic and my mom divorcing him. I also found out recently that he was suicidal at that time and I didn't even know about it. I'm kind of um...not mentally stable sometimes and I can't imagine how much worse a midlife crisis will make that.
 

Mr Nobody

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Jul 9, 2008
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Some kind of 'crisis' is inevitable (probably ;)). It really amounts to a series of 'What if this instead of that?' and taking stock of your life, what you have vs. what you wanted, and so on. I've done a few rounds with my disquiet (and disquieting) thoughts and seem to have put them away, only for them to rise again. They'll do that, you see, because they're ghosts.
There's no trick to get around it. Even if you live a life with no regrets (or no big ones, anyway), you'll still hit a point where you ask yourself the question 'What if this instead of that? What if I'd done/chosen Y instead of Z?'
Personally, when I was younger I did the things that seemed right at the time. Other things I couldn't do anything about, as people did what felt right for them. Of course it meant that things didn't always go the way I wanted them to or work out the way I thought they would (or ought to), but...c'est la vie. Knowing that hasn't stopped me mulling over things and wishing they were different or that I could have a do-over, though, and some things are harder to make your peace with than others. (There's one thing I can never make my peace with, so I have to settle for making my peace with that fact.)
The main thing to bear in mind, really, is that you can't have everything you (think you) want. Again, that's life. If there is a trick, it's to get most of what you really want and come to terms with the rest.
But as Tery said, you have some warning. You've seen what can happen. You can now prepare yourself by asking 'What's the worst thing that could happen?' and then refusing to let it when the time comes. (That's not a bad thing to do in pretty much any situation, tbh.)

But...on topic: What terrifies me?
Not that much. Bugs getting in my ears and starting to burrow and/or lay eggs, is one. I dislike spiders intensely. I hate snakes. (So that's me never going to Australia, then... :D)
Alzheimer's, I guess. And being in an accident that leaves me mentally impaired. I'd honestly rather die, because I'd no longer be 'me' (losing limbs, I'm fine with; I could also probably handle becoming paraplegic but not quadriplegic).
 

Religiously_Unkind

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Aug 19, 2017
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But you have some warning. You can find ways to deal with it if it happens. Be prepared.

I think it's different for everyone,
Some kind of 'crisis' is inevitable (probably ;)). It really amounts to a series of 'What if this instead of that?' and taking stock of your life, what you have vs. what you wanted, and so on. I've done a few rounds with my disquiet (and disquieting) thoughts and seem to have put them away, only for them to rise again. They'll do that, you see, because they're ghosts.
There's no trick to get around it. Even if you live a life with no regrets (or no big ones, anyway), you'll still hit a point where you ask yourself the question 'What if this instead of that? What if I'd done/chosen Y instead of Z?'
Personally, when I was younger I did the things that seemed right at the time. Other things I couldn't do anything about, as people did what felt right for them. Of course it meant that things didn't always go the way I wanted them to or work out the way I thought they would (or ought to), but...c'est la vie. Knowing that hasn't stopped me mulling over things and wishing they were different or that I could have a do-over, though, and some things are harder to make your peace with than others. (There's one thing I can never make my peace with, so I have to settle for making my peace with that fact.)
The main thing to bear in mind, really, is that you can't have everything you (think you) want. Again, that's life. If there is a trick, it's to get most of what you really want and come to terms with the rest.
But as Tery said, you have some warning. You've seen what can happen. You can now prepare yourself by asking 'What's the worst thing that could happen?' and then refusing to let it when the time comes. (That's not a bad thing to do in pretty much any situation, tbh.)

But...on topic: What terrifies me?
Not that much. Bugs getting in my ears and starting to burrow and/or lay eggs, is one. I dislike spiders intensely. I hate snakes. (So that's me never going to Australia, then... :D)
Alzheimer's, I guess. And being in an accident that leaves me mentally impaired. I'd honestly rather die, because I'd no longer be 'me' (losing limbs, I'm fine with; I could also probably handle becoming paraplegic but not quadriplegic).

I want so much to do something with my life but i'm mildly autistic and bipolar which makes it hard to get out into the world. I've been developing a comic for 4 years but I can't see it finding a publisher anytime soon, so I sit at home and work on that but what I mostly do is read books, watch movies, and pop pills. I'm a nervous wreck without the various kind of pills I take, and the abuse of pills is taking its toll on my body. My sides hurt a lot and that can't be a good sign.
 

Mr Nobody

Well-Known Member
Jul 9, 2008
3,306
9,050
Walsall, England
I want so much to do something with my life but i'm mildly autistic and bipolar which makes it hard to get out into the world. I've been developing a comic for 4 years but I can't see it finding a publisher anytime soon, so I sit at home and work on that but what I mostly do is read books, watch movies, and pop pills. I'm a nervous wreck without the various kind of pills I take, and the abuse of pills is taking its toll on my body. My sides hurt a lot and that can't be a good sign.

Well, bipolar's nothing to mess with (I suffer from bouts of depression too, but fortunately not in that form).
I don't know how to take the pill-popping. Initially it seemed like you had to, to maintain some control over things. But then that's not abuse, so...
If it's only prescribed meds you're taking, you need to talk to someone about the pain you're getting and see if there's anything that can be done. Maybe they're reacting with each other and something can be done about that, or perhaps a particular brand or type doesn't suit you.

But the real question is, what kind of thing do you think you'd like to do with your life (besides, or in addition to, the work on your comic)? There's quite a lot to choose from that would minimise 'into the world' contact.
Can you self-publish your comic, if the more traditional routes aren't working? If you're struggling to find a publisher because of 'out into the world' issues (which I understand can be very traumatic and trying for people on the autistic spectrum), could you find someone who is more at ease in those sort of situations to represent you? In terms of sales, etc, I know a lot of people on here are comic book fans so...you know, maybe there'd be some interest.
 

Religiously_Unkind

Well-Known Member
Aug 19, 2017
444
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Well, bipolar's nothing to mess with (I suffer from bouts of depression too, but fortunately not in that form).
I don't know how to take the pill-popping. Initially it seemed like you had to, to maintain some control over things. But then that's not abuse, so...
If it's only prescribed meds you're taking, you need to talk to someone about the pain you're getting and see if there's anything that can be done. Maybe they're reacting with each other and something can be done about that, or perhaps a particular brand or type doesn't suit you.

But the real question is, what kind of thing do you think you'd like to do with your life (besides, or in addition to, the work on your comic)? There's quite a lot to choose from that would minimise 'into the world' contact.
Can you self-publish your comic, if the more traditional routes aren't working? If you're struggling to find a publisher because of 'out into the world' issues (which I understand can be very traumatic and trying for people on the autistic spectrum), could you find someone who is more at ease in those sort of situations to represent you? In terms of sales, etc, I know a lot of people on here are comic book fans so...you know, maybe there'd be some interest.

I take some prescribed meds but I abuse Benadryl and over the counter pain medication, I take a lot of it to keep myself calm.

There are a few things I would like to do besides working on the comic; I really want to try writing a novel again (I tried a few months ago but it didn't work out), and I want to write an original screenplay.
The problem with getting my comic made is that I want to do the artwork but i'm not good enough yet, and the story has become so large that I don't think I can do it alone. I've never collaborated with anyone on a project so I don't know how that would work out.
 

Mr Nobody

Well-Known Member
Jul 9, 2008
3,306
9,050
Walsall, England
I take some prescribed meds but I abuse Benadryl and over the counter pain medication, I take a lot of it to keep myself calm.

There are a few things I would like to do besides working on the comic; I really want to try writing a novel again (I tried a few months ago but it didn't work out), and I want to write an original screenplay.
The problem with getting my comic made is that I want to do the artwork but i'm not good enough yet, and the story has become so large that I don't think I can do it alone. I've never collaborated with anyone on a project so I don't know how that would work out.

Right. Well...try not to do that. I can understand why you do, but...yeah, you already know it's not good. Maybe there's another, less harmful way?

Was the novel your first attempt, or have there been others? Because you'd be in very rare company if you'd 'gone complete' on the first attempt. Very rare.
What I'm saying is, have another go, then another, then another. Keep trying until you make it, and remember you're not always the best judge of your own work - though you will be the harshest critic.
Ultimately, though, you can only see how these things work out by doing it. Again, others might be able to point you in the direction of where you might find help with the comic. I'd be amazed if there isn't somewhere on the Internet where artists, writers, etc, can come together.
 

Religiously_Unkind

Well-Known Member
Aug 19, 2017
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2,264
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Right. Well...try not to do that. I can understand why you do, but...yeah, you already know it's not good. Maybe there's another, less harmful way?

Was the novel your first attempt, or have there been others? Because you'd be in very rare company if you'd 'gone complete' on the first attempt. Very rare.
What I'm saying is, have another go, then another, then another. Keep trying until you make it, and remember you're not always the best judge of your own work - though you will be the harshest critic.
Ultimately, though, you can only see how these things work out by doing it. Again, others might be able to point you in the direction of where you might find help with the comic. I'd be amazed if there isn't somewhere on the Internet where artists, writers, etc, can come together.

It was my first serious attempt; I actually got pretty far (37 handwritten pages, the most I ever wrote) and then I realized that the serial killer who kills because of his religion was a tired old trope. I did make some notes on what I want to do in the first complete draft and they were pretty good ideas but then my mom got sick and life became really hectic. I'll probably go back to the project, it's just a matter of working up the will to do so.
 

Mr Nobody

Well-Known Member
Jul 9, 2008
3,306
9,050
Walsall, England
It was my first serious attempt; I actually got pretty far (37 handwritten pages, the most I ever wrote) and then I realized that the serial killer who kills because of his religion was a tired old trope. I did make some notes on what I want to do in the first complete draft and they were pretty good ideas but then my mom got sick and life became really hectic. I'll probably go back to the project, it's just a matter of working up the will to do so.

Well, you say it's a tired old trope - and I'm not going to say you're wrong - but there are no end of variations on the theme published every year (and that's without looking at the self-publishing market). It's really about telling it your way, because your style and story won't be quite the same as anyone else's. If you can also throw in something unexpected - the idea for which might not occur to you until after you've completed the first draft - well, then you're up and at the races.
Motivation's always the big issue, and there's no help or advice to be had there. It has to come from within and it'll come when it's ready. What I will say is, if it's something you really want to do, you will. Eventually.
For my part I can only wish you luck with it, and indeed all your projects.
(And sorry about your mom's illness and all the fallout from that.)
 

Religiously_Unkind

Well-Known Member
Aug 19, 2017
444
2,264
32
Well, you say it's a tired old trope - and I'm not going to say you're wrong - but there are no end of variations on the theme published every year (and that's without looking at the self-publishing market). It's really about telling it your way, because your style and story won't be quite the same as anyone else's. If you can also throw in something unexpected - the idea for which might not occur to you until after you've completed the first draft - well, then you're up and at the races.
Motivation's always the big issue, and there's no help or advice to be had there. It has to come from within and it'll come when it's ready. What I will say is, if it's something you really want to do, you will. Eventually.
For my part I can only wish you luck with it, and indeed all your projects.
(And sorry about your mom's illness and all the fallout from that.)

The reaso
Well, you say it's a tired old trope - and I'm not going to say you're wrong - but there are no end of variations on the theme published every year (and that's without looking at the self-publishing market). It's really about telling it your way, because your style and story won't be quite the same as anyone else's. If you can also throw in something unexpected - the idea for which might not occur to you until after you've completed the first draft - well, then you're up and at the races.
Motivation's always the big issue, and there's no help or advice to be had there. It has to come from within and it'll come when it's ready. What I will say is, if it's something you really want to do, you will. Eventually.
For my part I can only wish you luck with it, and indeed all your projects.
(And sorry about your mom's illness and all the fallout from that.)

The story was about a young boy who comes from a family of serial killers but doesn't want to follow in their footsteps. The reason the religious elements were there was because the serial killing grandpa was partially based on my grandpa (dad's dad) who has always given me the creeps. See, my dad adopted me after he married my mom when I was 5, so i'm not blood related to him, but from ages 12 through 23 my grandpa always gave me the creeps even though he was well loved by everyone in the community, taught Sunday school, and taught agriculture at the high-school for 25 years. There was just something about him that never felt right. My best friend even pointed out that my grandpa was a creep. One of the cool things I put in the first draft was the grandpa wearing a Creature From the Black Lagoon mask while he kills; I put that in there because I love that movie but later I realized the comparisons between The Creature and the grandpa. I even planned to have the grandpa get badly burned at the end of the first half of the novel and still be killing people in the second half, which is exactly what happened in Creature. Parts of the story were inspired by this song because it is about my home state of Oklahoma and I've been to every OK location he mentions in the song.