What Movie Is This Line From?

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Lord Tyrion

Lord Tyrion

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Oct 24, 2013
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Lord Tyrion said:
"This reminds me of a joke. This guy comes into a bar, walks up to the bartender. Says, "Bartender, I got me a bet for you. I'm gonna bet you $300 that I can piss into that glass over there and not spill a single, solitary drop." The bartender looks. I mean, we're talking, like, this glass is like a good ten feet away. He says, "Now wait, let me get this strait. You're tryin' to tell me you'll bet me $300 that you can piss, standing over here, way over there into that glass, and not spill a single drop?" Customer looks up and says, "That's right." Bartender says, "Young man, you got a bet." The guy goes, "Okay, here we go. Here we go." Pulls out his thing. He's lookin' at the glass, man. He's thinkin' about the glass. He's thinkin' about the glass. Glass. He's thinkin' about the glass, glass. Thinkin' about his dick. Dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass, dick, glass. And then, *foosh*, he lets it rip. And he-he's pisses all over the place, man. He's pissin' on the bar. He pissin' on the stools, on the floor, on the phone, on the bartender! He's pissing everywhere *except* the f*cking glass! Right? Okay. So, bartender, he's laughing his f*ckin' ass off. He's $300 richer. He's like, "Ha, ha, ha, ha!" Piss dripping off his face. "Ha, ha, ha, ha!" He says, "You f*cking idiot, man! You got it in everything except the glass! You owe me $300 punta." Guy goes, "Excuse me just one-one little second." Goes in the back of the bar. In back, there's a couple of guys playing pool. He walks over to them. Comes back to the bar. Goes, "Here you go, Mr. Bartender, 300." And the bartender's like, "What the f*ck are you so happy about? You just lost $300, idiot!" The guy says, "Well, see those guys over there? I just bet them $500 a piece that I could piss on your bar, piss on your floor, piss on your phone, and piss on you, and not only would you not be mad about it, you'd be happy.""
Click to expand...

Sorry about that! I'll use another quote.

"What do you want?"
"I'm just looking for work."
"There's no work here."
"I see. Is there something to drink?"
"Is there something in the case?"
"Yeah."
"What?"
"My guitar. Sure you don't want to hear me play before you say there's no work?"
"We just want to see what's in the case. If it's like you say... ...drink all you want."
"But I told you already. I'm a musician. This is my guitar."
 
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Angelo Bottigliero

Angelo Bottigliero

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Sep 6, 2013
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CriticAndProud said:
Yeppity Doo-Daa !

Howza 'bout - "Crom, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad. Why we fought, or why we died. All that matters is that two stood against many. That's what's important! Valour pleases you, Crom... so grant me one request. Grant me revenge! And if you do not listen, then to HELL with you!"
Click to expand...
Conan the Barbarian, I believe?
 
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Angelo Bottigliero

Angelo Bottigliero

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Sep 6, 2013
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Lord Tyrion said:
Sorry about that! I'll use another quote.

"What do you want?"
"I'm just looking for work."
"There's no work here."
"I see. Is there something to drink?"
"Is there something in the case?"
"Yeah."
"What?"
"My guitar. Sure you don't want to hear me play before you say there's no work?"
"We just want to see what's in the case. If it's like you say... ...drink all you want."
"But I told you already. I'm a musician. This is my guitar."
Click to expand...
Desperado?
 
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Lord Tyrion

Lord Tyrion

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Oct 24, 2013
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"Martin, look at me."
"I'm looking at you."
"No, I want you to look at me the way I'm looking at you. Put it in your eyes, 'You're mine, *sshole,' without saying it."
"Like this?"
[heavy lidded eyes]
"What you're telling me, you're tired? You wanna go to bed?"
"Wait. How about this?"
[squints]
"Now you're squinting like you need glasses."
"Well, what are you getting..."
"Look at me. What I'm thinking is, 'You're mine. I f*ckin' own you.' But what I'm not doing is feeling anything about it one way or the other. You understand? You're not a person to me, you're a name in my collection book, a guy owes me money, that's all."
[Martin does the look once again]
"Chili Palmer: Whoah."
"He's... he's good."
"You nailed it."
"That's what I think of you, *sshole. Nothing."
"That's why you're Martin Weir."
 
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Neesy

Neesy

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May 24, 2012
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Lord Tyrion said:
"Martin, look at me."
"I'm looking at you."
"No, I want you to look at me the way I'm looking at you. Put it in your eyes, 'You're mine, *sshole,' without saying it."
"Like this?"
[heavy lidded eyes]
"What you're telling me, you're tired? You wanna go to bed?"
"Wait. How about this?"
[squints]
"Now you're squinting like you need glasses."
"Well, what are you getting..."
"Look at me. What I'm thinking is, 'You're mine. I f*ckin' own you.' But what I'm not doing is feeling anything about it one way or the other. You understand? You're not a person to me, you're a name in my collection book, a guy owes me money, that's all."
[Martin does the look once again]
"Chili Palmer: Whoah."
"He's... he's good."
"You nailed it."
"That's what I think of you, *sshole. Nothing."
"That's why you're Martin Weir."
Click to expand...

I should let you know there is a link in your post that takes you to John Travolta when you click on "Chili Palmer" - wasn't sure if you realized or not!
 
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