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Terrence Hill for Eddie?So, I've been thinking: The Dark Tower is coming out next year, but this is who I would have cast in a world where time doesn't really matter: These are the players in my mind's eye.....am I off base? is my aim true?
Roland: Scott Eastwood
Man in Black: Christopher Walken
Steven Deschain: Clint Eastwood
Gabrielle Deschain: Cherie Lunghi
Hax: Scatman Crothers
Cort: R. Lee Ermey
Brown: Carrot Top
Allie: Frances Fisher
Sylvia Pittston: Kathy Bates
Jake Chambers: Anton Yelchin
Eddie Dean: Terrence Hill
Susannah: Halle Berry
Jack Mort: Michael Emerson
Aunt Talitha: Betty White
Gasher: Johnny Depp
Tick Tock Man: Matt Frewer
Blaine The Mono: James Earl Jones
Sheemie: Steve Carrell
Susan Delgado: Candace Bergen
Eldred Jonas: Lee Van Cleef
Roy Depape: Gene Hackman
Clay Reynolds: Lou Diamond Phillips
Rhea: Maggie Smith
Father Callahan: Morgan Freeman
Oh my God. Look at him. It is really nothing about just being black. His face... I know Roland has no mimics in his face when he is shooting. His eyes like thinking something else. Just his hands... do their jobs... move like a thunder...
Welcome! I hear you. I'm trying very hard to keep an open mind. But, I don't like being called a racist snaggled tooth hillbilly. That is quite unfair.
This is our gunslinger??? What's with the pseudo bondage steampunk costume? Of course we all know that neck to ankle black leather is the perfect attire for an obsessed man on a long quest through the hot desert. And Idris Elba....."gag me with a spoon" as the valley girls used to say. Stephen King did a wonderful job of painting the image of the gunslinger in our heads and this just ain't it. It is in total contradiction to not only the books but also 30+ years of art work. It's like casting Tom Hanks in the role of the Marvel Superhero The Black Panther. It's just wrong.
This is just making the majority of the people who love the Dark Tower series angry or at least very disappointed. Additionally, by starting the story in the middle, they are going to confuse those who have not read the books. To me this seems like a perfect recipe for box office disaster. I truly hope this is a career ender for Akiva Goldsman. Especially since he accused all of us who simply want an accurate rendering of the story and characters as written as a bunch of snaggle tooth racist hillbillies. Just go to cinemablend and read his comments. He is a real charmer. This is not about race. It is about transferring the perfection of the story to the big screen intact.
The honest truth is that all this just hurts my heart. I truly love this story. I have a huge amount of respect for Mr. King and his talent. I don't understand how he could allow his master work to be treated in this fashion? I am sure he has his reasons but I can't image what they might be.
Sorry for the venom and sarcasm constant readers. I just had to get it out of my system. Now I plan to relax With a 12 pack of extremely cheap beer and chant over and over "I still have the books", "I still have the books", " I still have the books" while burning all images of Idris Elba from my mind. Then lots of exercise and eating right so that I might live long enough to see a proper remake.