So, what did you all do during the break?

ghost19 said:

Thank you Neesy. I hope you had a good break ma'am. So far we're just taking that part slow, she has a 2 year old son, her ex died just a few months after their son was born. My son is 12 but used to be 2 long ago, so although I'm rusty, I've tried very hard to include her son when I'm around. I think I'm just an interesting jungle gym to him for the most part but he'll actually run up to me and let me pick him up now which I think is at least progress. My son is a bit more complicated. He very much seems to like her, but it's strange. I think he's not too keen on watching me roughhouse or sit with her son while we're all talking. I include my son in everything as far as us all conversing but I think it's been he and I for so long that he's just not used to seeing me 1)spending time with a woman, and 2)definitely not used to a rambunctious 2-year old being part of the landscape. I've been very careful to keep him in the loop during the last few weeks, just to try and explain what's happening, but it's very difficult Neesy. We're a team, he and I, it's been us against the world for a long time now with all the sadness with his mom of the last few years. I think I'm kind of his rock, does that make any sense? For the most part I've stayed calm and collected during the last few years trying to protect him and showing him that I'm going to make sure he's #1 and that he's protected and provided for no matter the cost. Now, I think he sees me texting, or talking on the phone and he knows who I'm communicating with. She is doing everything she possibly can to show him attention and that she's not trying to replace his mother and she's doing a great job but since this thing is so new, we have a long road ahead of us. But, slow and steady has been the plan from the get go on both sides, neither of us are used to having another person in the picture but it's easier for us than it is for both boys because we both mutually want someone in the picture. It's complicated, as I knew it would be going into a relationship with someone with her own child. You're a bit torn over how much attention to show that person because you know someone else is watching you interact with that person. I feel like I'm under a microscope when I'm talking to her if my son is around. We've pretty much decided that all we can do is try to include both of them as much as possible to show both of them we're not trying to exclude them. I've bought her son a couple of small toys, she is teaching my son to play the acoustic guitar which I didn't even know he was interested in...go figure. Overall, I'm cautiously hopeful Neesy but still wary. Ok, there I go rambling again...sorry. I like her quite a bit Neesy, she's very nice to me. I'm not used to that, but I'm not complaining at all ma'am. Have a good weekend.

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ghost19 said:

Thank you Neesy. I hope you had a good break ma'am. So far we're just taking that part slow, she has a 2 year old son, her ex died just a few months after their son was born. My son is 12 but used to be 2 long ago, so although I'm rusty, I've tried very hard to include her son when I'm around. I think I'm just an interesting jungle gym to him for the most part but he'll actually run up to me and let me pick him up now which I think is at least progress. My son is a bit more complicated. He very much seems to like her, but it's strange. I think he's not too keen on watching me roughhouse or sit with her son while we're all talking. I include my son in everything as far as us all conversing but I think it's been he and I for so long that he's just not used to seeing me 1)spending time with a woman, and 2)definitely not used to a rambunctious 2-year old being part of the landscape. I've been very careful to keep him in the loop during the last few weeks, just to try and explain what's happening, but it's very difficult Neesy. We're a team, he and I, it's been us against the world for a long time now with all the sadness with his mom of the last few years. I think I'm kind of his rock, does that make any sense? For the most part I've stayed calm and collected during the last few years trying to protect him and showing him that I'm going to make sure he's #1 and that he's protected and provided for no matter the cost. Now, I think he sees me texting, or talking on the phone and he knows who I'm communicating with. She is doing everything she possibly can to show him attention and that she's not trying to replace his mother and she's doing a great job but since this thing is so new, we have a long road ahead of us. But, slow and steady has been the plan from the get go on both sides, neither of us are used to having another person in the picture but it's easier for us than it is for both boys because we both mutually want someone in the picture. It's complicated, as I knew it would be going into a relationship with someone with her own child. You're a bit torn over how much attention to show that person because you know someone else is watching you interact with that person. I feel like I'm under a microscope when I'm talking to her if my son is around. We've pretty much decided that all we can do is try to include both of them as much as possible to show both of them we're not trying to exclude them. I've bought her son a couple of small toys, she is teaching my son to play the acoustic guitar which I didn't even know he was interested in...go figure. Overall, I'm cautiously hopeful Neesy but still wary. Ok, there I go rambling again...sorry. I like her quite a bit Neesy, she's very nice to me. I'm not used to that, but I'm not complaining at all ma'am. Have a good weekend.

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do1you9love? said:

This post just warms my heart. It sounds like you are both doing the right things and taking your time. Best of luck to all four of you! ((ghost, son, lady friend & her son))

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ghost19 said:

Weird side note....we actually went to the same high school, a very small one. We passed each other in the hallways and were actually on the same academic Quiz Bowl team together when I was a senior and she was a junior but I honestly can't ever remember having more than a 5 minute conversation with her at any given time. We can remember interacting with one another but there was absolutely no interest for either of us whatsoever in one another. Course that was around 1989-1991 so who knew? Still strange though...

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Spideyman said:

ghost19 - if you have read the DT, you will understand -----

Spoiler

Ka is a wheel.

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FlakeNoir said:

Sounds like you're both doing all the right things with the boys... so happy for you ghost19.

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ghost19 said:

Thank you Neesy. I hope you had a good break ma'am. So far we're just taking that part slow, she has a 2 year old son, her ex died just a few months after their son was born. My son is 12 but used to be 2 long ago, so although I'm rusty, I've tried very hard to include her son when I'm around. I think I'm just an interesting jungle gym to him for the most part but he'll actually run up to me and let me pick him up now which I think is at least progress. My son is a bit more complicated. He very much seems to like her, but it's strange. I think he's not too keen on watching me roughhouse or sit with her son while we're all talking. I include my son in everything as far as us all conversing but I think it's been he and I for so long that he's just not used to seeing me 1)spending time with a woman, and 2)definitely not used to a rambunctious 2-year old being part of the landscape. I've been very careful to keep him in the loop during the last few weeks, just to try and explain what's happening, but it's very difficult Neesy. We're a team, he and I, it's been us against the world for a long time now with all the sadness with his mom of the last few years. I think I'm kind of his rock, does that make any sense? For the most part I've stayed calm and collected during the last few years trying to protect him and showing him that I'm going to make sure he's #1 and that he's protected and provided for no matter the cost. Now, I think he sees me texting, or talking on the phone and he knows who I'm communicating with. She is doing everything she possibly can to show him attention and that she's not trying to replace his mother and she's doing a great job but since this thing is so new, we have a long road ahead of us. But, slow and steady has been the plan from the get go on both sides, neither of us are used to having another person in the picture but it's easier for us than it is for both boys because we both mutually want someone in the picture. It's complicated, as I knew it would be going into a relationship with someone with her own child. You're a bit torn over how much attention to show that person because you know someone else is watching you interact with that person. I feel like I'm under a microscope when I'm talking to her if my son is around. We've pretty much decided that all we can do is try to include both of them as much as possible to show both of them we're not trying to exclude them. I've bought her son a couple of small toys, she is teaching my son to play the acoustic guitar which I didn't even know he was interested in...go figure. Overall, I'm cautiously hopeful Neesy but still wary. Ok, there I go rambling again...sorry. I like her quite a bit Neesy, she's very nice to me. I'm not used to that, but I'm not complaining at all ma'am. Have a good weekend.

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DiO'Bolic said:

Well, yeah, but what does that have to do with the price of scrapple in China?

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Sundrop said:

Wonder what Chinese scrapple is made of?

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Tery said:

I'd have sent you a six-pack if I'd known, dear GNT. We had lunch there one day. Pretty good pizza. Unfortunately, I can't enjoy their brew as Lyrica doesn't play well with alcohol.

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GNTLGNT said:

....you both have the correct "handle" on how and what you're doing....and old buddy?....in all seriousness, I could not be happier for you......that empty place in your heart needed some light-and your son will likely come around with no real problems, especially since he seems like a very bright and perceptive boy....kids sense and see things-he'll know she's not trying to replace Mom.....and you're giving him the right kind of attention....remember as well, her child will always, ALWAYS be her top priority and you may feel slighted or snubbed some times-but remember, you feel the same way about your child....the blend will happen and I better get an invite to the hoe down when she tries to make an honest schmuck outta ya....

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Tery said:

Spent 2 weeks in Hawaii. Thankfully, I was able to find a pair of fins that don't crowd my toes and never had a hint of a flare-up while I was in the ocean. The bad news is that, during the second week, there was a +2 high tide coupled with a southerly swell that conspired to keep us out of the water for most of the week. So I got obsessed with getting great wave pics. Tell me whatcha think

We went up to the volcano and there was lava:

​

This is, I think, the best picture I got. It's the only dedicated surfing heiau (altar) in the Islands. Offerings are still left at Ku'emanu heiau for tasty waves.

Spent a couple of nice evenings listening to local musicians, discovered the best hamburger on the Big Island (Ultimate Burger) and finally visited the artist colony up on Hualalai's slopes (no big whoop). We were there during the Merry Monarch Festival but didn't realize we were. We watched all of it on TV, though. Probably the best seat for me, considering. We'll try for tickets for the next trip in 2019.

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ghost19 said:

Thank you Neesy. I hope you had a good break ma'am. So far we're just taking that part slow, she has a 2 year old son, her ex died just a few months after their son was born. My son is 12 but used to be 2 long ago, so although I'm rusty, I've tried very hard to include her son when I'm around. I think I'm just an interesting jungle gym to him for the most part but he'll actually run up to me and let me pick him up now which I think is at least progress. My son is a bit more complicated. He very much seems to like her, but it's strange. I think he's not too keen on watching me roughhouse or sit with her son while we're all talking. I include my son in everything as far as us all conversing but I think it's been he and I for so long that he's just not used to seeing me 1)spending time with a woman, and 2)definitely not used to a rambunctious 2-year old being part of the landscape. I've been very careful to keep him in the loop during the last few weeks, just to try and explain what's happening, but it's very difficult Neesy. We're a team, he and I, it's been us against the world for a long time now with all the sadness with his mom of the last few years. I think I'm kind of his rock, does that make any sense? For the most part I've stayed calm and collected during the last few years trying to protect him and showing him that I'm going to make sure he's #1 and that he's protected and provided for no matter the cost. Now, I think he sees me texting, or talking on the phone and he knows who I'm communicating with. She is doing everything she possibly can to show him attention and that she's not trying to replace his mother and she's doing a great job but since this thing is so new, we have a long road ahead of us. But, slow and steady has been the plan from the get go on both sides, neither of us are used to having another person in the picture but it's easier for us than it is for both boys because we both mutually want someone in the picture. It's complicated, as I knew it would be going into a relationship with someone with her own child. You're a bit torn over how much attention to show that person because you know someone else is watching you interact with that person. I feel like I'm under a microscope when I'm talking to her if my son is around. We've pretty much decided that all we can do is try to include both of them as much as possible to show both of them we're not trying to exclude them. I've bought her son a couple of small toys, she is teaching my son to play the acoustic guitar which I didn't even know he was interested in...go figure. Overall, I'm cautiously hopeful Neesy but still wary. Ok, there I go rambling again...sorry. I like her quite a bit Neesy, she's very nice to me. I'm not used to that, but I'm not complaining at all ma'am. Have a good weekend.

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Alexandra M said:

Sounds like you are both doing everything right, it is just going to take time. I am very happy for you Ghost.

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ghost19 said:

Thank you Neesy. I hope you had a good break ma'am. So far we're just taking that part slow, she has a 2 year old son, her ex died just a few months after their son was born. My son is 12 but used to be 2 long ago, so although I'm rusty, I've tried very hard to include her son when I'm around. I think I'm just an interesting jungle gym to him for the most part but he'll actually run up to me and let me pick him up now which I think is at least progress. My son is a bit more complicated. He very much seems to like her, but it's strange. I think he's not too keen on watching me roughhouse or sit with her son while we're all talking. I include my son in everything as far as us all conversing but I think it's been he and I for so long that he's just not used to seeing me 1)spending time with a woman, and 2)definitely not used to a rambunctious 2-year old being part of the landscape. I've been very careful to keep him in the loop during the last few weeks, just to try and explain what's happening, but it's very difficult Neesy. We're a team, he and I, it's been us against the world for a long time now with all the sadness with his mom of the last few years. I think I'm kind of his rock, does that make any sense? For the most part I've stayed calm and collected during the last few years trying to protect him and showing him that I'm going to make sure he's #1 and that he's protected and provided for no matter the cost. Now, I think he sees me texting, or talking on the phone and he knows who I'm communicating with. She is doing everything she possibly can to show him attention and that she's not trying to replace his mother and she's doing a great job but since this thing is so new, we have a long road ahead of us. But, slow and steady has been the plan from the get go on both sides, neither of us are used to having another person in the picture but it's easier for us than it is for both boys because we both mutually want someone in the picture. It's complicated, as I knew it would be going into a relationship with someone with her own child. You're a bit torn over how much attention to show that person because you know someone else is watching you interact with that person. I feel like I'm under a microscope when I'm talking to her if my son is around. We've pretty much decided that all we can do is try to include both of them as much as possible to show both of them we're not trying to exclude them. I've bought her son a couple of small toys, she is teaching my son to play the acoustic guitar which I didn't even know he was interested in...go figure. Overall, I'm cautiously hopeful Neesy but still wary. Ok, there I go rambling again...sorry. I like her quite a bit Neesy, she's very nice to me. I'm not used to that, but I'm not complaining at all ma'am. Have a good weekend.

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