Fear does not exist...but...

[fushingfeef]

I've heard it said that fear does not exist outside of our own minds. It's a byproduct of our thoughts and emotions, but not an actual thing. It is no more real than the Easter Bunny.

Of course, DANGER is real. Nothing wrong with being prepared for the worst. I'm talking about fear though, especially the kind of fear that still lingers and nags at us long after our rational mind has tried to talk us out of it. It's not a real thing...but why does it seem so important and real?

Why do we spend so much time living our lives around fear, and making ourselves miserable with the imaginary? Is it necessary for our survival? Is it the dark side of "happy imaginings?" Can we simply choose to be unafraid, any more than we can choose to be happy? Is fear our default mode?

I'm just sort of thinking out loud here. I figure Stephen King fans know more about fear than most! I'd love to hear your thoughts on fear, if you've struggled with anxiety as I have, or anything else on this topic.

 

[kingricefan]

If we didn't have fear we would never had made it out of the Prehistoric period. If our ancestors Og and Trog weren't afraid of dinosaurs they wouldn't have survived. Of course cunning plays a role here but mostly it was fear that kept Og and Trog from just running up to the nearest dinosaur and try to kill it. Right?

 

[Grandpa]

Fear is as subjective as any other emotion, but like any other emotion, it plays a role in our instincts that bring our species to where it is now. How we deal with fear - whether we work through it or succumb to it - is a reflection of the capabilities we bring to a given situation. And in our civilized lifestyle, being disabled by fear is as not as fatal to ourselves and our genetic heritage as it once was. But that's how we've evolved.

 

[Srbo]

Hi there.

I`m not sure I`m following. Fear doesn`t exist outside of our own minds?
Well, of course not. It`s not an object, it`s an emotion.
Are you talking about being scarred all the time without a reason, or being scarred when...well, there is a reason for it?
I`m not scarred all the time, but I worry.
You know, usual stuff...what`s gonna happen to our children, our lives, the world, sometimes about money, bills...
Doesn`t everybody?
I know from the war times that everybody was afraid all the time. Not really something you can control.
And like it`s being said:
" A courageous person is the one who is afraid to do a dangerous thing, but does it anyway. He who doesn`t fear at all is just plain crazy. "

 

[GNTLGNT]

 

[Srbo]

All respect to Will, but I still don`t get it.
Danger is real, but fear is a choice?
How do you choose not to be afraid when you are in danger?
Is there a switch in your brain for that?
Dunno...when you`re in danger, you are afraid, that is not a choice, it`s a natural reaction you can`t control.
Maybe I`m not understanding all this, sorry.

 

[danie]

If we didn't have fear we would never had made it out of the Prehistoric period. If our ancestors Og and Trog weren't afraid of dinosaurs they wouldn't have survived. Of course cunning plays a role here but mostly it was fear that kept Og and Trog from just running up to the nearest dinosaur and try to kill it. Right?

'T'weren't no Ogs and Trogs during dinosaur time, no matter what the Kentuckians say...

 

[Sundrop]

All respect to Will, but I still don`t get it.
Danger is real, but fear is a choice?
How do you choose not to be afraid when you are in danger?
Is there a switch in your brain for that?
Dunno...when you`re in danger, you are afraid, that is not a choice, it`s a natural reaction you can`t control.
Maybe I`m not understanding all this, sorry.

I'm not sure if this will help, or confuse more......

My daughter isn't afraid of much of anything. Never has been....even when there might be reasonable danger present.
Here's the example...... Over Christmas, my BF visits with his dog. The dog loves my daughter, but she wasn't home when they arrived. He is also extremely protective of his surroundings. When my daughter came home, she was wearing a baseball cap, and the dog didn't recognize her, and went ballistic.....barking, growling and showing his teeth. He's a big dog, 85 pound Chessie. I have to admit, that I was a little scared that he might bite her......but not my child. She walked right up to him, stuck out her hand, said "Hi Buck", and petted him. I asked her later if she wasn't afraid when the dog was acting like that.....she said no, that she really didn't think about being afraid.

 

[Spideyman]

All respect to Will, but I still don`t get it.
Danger is real, but fear is a choice?
How do you choose not to be afraid when you are in danger?
Is there a switch in your brain for that?
Dunno...when you`re in danger, you are afraid, that is not a choice, it`s a natural reaction you can`t control.
Maybe I`m not understanding all this, sorry.

Fear is an emotion produced by the brain. A perception of danger to come. Fear occurs as a response, anticipation , expectation of something that might be a risk or cause harm (the danger). The Danger is real, the fear is a trigger within the brain, and the body reacts. The "switch" is learning control. The learning of the ability to react with an understanding, experience, and not panic.

 

[Srbo]

I'm not sure if this will help, or confuse more......

My daughter isn't afraid of much of anything. Never has been....even when there might be reasonable danger present.
Here's the example...... Over Christmas, my BF visits with his dog. The dog loves my daughter, but she wasn't home when they arrived. He is also extremely protective of his surroundings. When my daughter came home, she was wearing a baseball cap, and the dog didn't recognize her, and went ballistic.....barking, growling and showing his teeth. He's a big dog, 85 pound Chessie. I have to admit, that I was a little scared that he might bite her......but not my child. She walked right up to him, stuck out her hand, said "Hi Buck", and petted him. I asked her later if she wasn't afraid when the dog was acting like that.....she said no, that she really didn't think about being afraid.

Hmmmmm...but she knew the dog, she loves him and he loves her.
How would she react if it was a dog she never saw before, being and acting the same way like Buck?

 

[Sundrop]

Hmmmmm...but she knew the dog, she loves him and he loves her.
How would she react if it was a dog she never saw before, being and acting the same way like Buck?

Honestly, she would have done the same thing.
I guess my point was that Buck is a big scary dog.....he can be intimidating sometimes, even to those of us who know him....but my daughter doesn't react with fear.

 

[Srbo]

The "switch" is learning control. The learning of the ability to react with an understanding, experience, and not panic.

OK, control, understand, experience, don`t panic.
But...are you still afraid???
I think you are, you just taught yourself not to freak out, no?

 

[danie]

I think fear, like any emotion, is not really a choice. We can learn to control it, maybe, but fear is as real as any other emotion. It's like saying love is not real. Love is not a choice just because it's a product of thoughts and feelings.

Some people may be less fearful in certain situations, just like some are less loving or happy or sad in different circumstances. Emotions are real no matter what causes them--gonna have to disagree with Will.

 

[Srbo]

Honestly, she would have done the same thing.
I guess my point was that Buck is a big scary dog.....he can be intimidating sometimes, even to those of us who know him....but my daughter doesn't react with fear.

I, for sure, would be afraid of Cujo.
Don`t know, in the war I met some people who said and acted like they were not afraid.
Which I never believed.
Many of them died, `cause they were pretty reckless.
Or...simply plain crazy.

Well, the point is...you can teach yourself to not be afraid?
Maybe in some aspects of life, but not all of them.
I think, anyway, maybe I`m wrong.
Complex question for me.

 

[Spideyman]

OK, control, understand, experience, don`t panic.
But...are you still afraid???
I think you are, you just taught yourself not to freak out, no?

Being afraid- the feeling of fear- is a reaction within the brain. Say I am walking in the woods and see a snake. The brain "tells" me to be afraid. However, working from experience, I would know to step aside, avoid that snake-- the danger. It is learning to control the trigger in the brain.

 

[Srbo]

I think fear, like any emotion, is not really a choice. We can learn to control it, maybe, but fear is as real as any other emotion. It's like saying love is not real. Love is not a choice just because it's a product of thoughts and feelings.

Some people may be less fearful in certain situations, just like some are less loving or happy or sad in different circumstances. Emotions are real no matter what causes them--gonna have to disagree with Will.

This!
Exactly how I think.

 

[Sundrop]

I, for sure, would be afraid of Cujo.
Don`t know, in the war I met some people who said and acted like they were not afraid.
Which I never believed.
Many of them died, `cause they were pretty reckless.
Or...simply plain crazy.

Well, the point is...you can teach yourself to not be afraid?
Maybe in some aspects of life, but not all of them.
I think, anyway, maybe I`m wrong.
Complex question for me.

We know Cujo had rabies.....I'm afraid of any rabid animal....but let's say a raccoon happened to show up on my porch. I think raccoons are cute, and since I don't automatically think of the possibility it could be rabid, I might not react to it with fear. Now, a spider is a different story entirely.....if there's a spider on my porch, I'm calling the neighbor to come over and kill it.

I don't think it's a matter of right or wrong. I think fear is something that occurs naturally in some of us, and maybe not so much in others.

 

[mjs9153]

Feel like others and spidey do,fear is just another human emotion,maybe some people are born without the capacity to feel it,I sure do..been plenty scared many times in my career,but did as I was trained to,fortunately able to control it..I remember once,an incident where we were entering an apartment in search of a bad guy and it was believed he might be armed.As we entered,one of the officers first in the line shouted "Gun" and one of the others ahead of us at the door came running OUT of the apartment..it was kind of humorous at the time,but the expression of fear on the officer's face was for real,and it turned out the officer ended up leaving the job after a time..the "gun" was dropped by one of our officers as he got tangled up with the guy,we ended up getting him controlled,but it was sticky moments there for a few..

 

[ghost19]

Fight or flight is built into all animals, including humans. You can train and train for any spectrum of dangerous situations, but you can only reduce the effects of fear, not the fear itself. Since there is no way to train for every dangerous situation, there's no way to eliminate fear completely. You can minimize its effects on your action or reaction to danger with training but fear is primal. Fear isn't a choice, just like being human isn't a choice. However, as strong as fear is, your brain can manage it to a certain degree based on what's happening, who it's happening to, and what the risk to yourself is to do something about it. If someone sees a stranger about to get hit by a car while crossing the street, that person's reaction may be to push the pedestrian out of the way without thinking. In doing so, the person may be injured themselves but at the moment, that's not considered relevant by the person who is trying to help. Now, replace the stranger with your wife, child, husband, sometimes the same person will "lock up". Not an iron clad rule, but it does happen. Your brain factors all of this in just microseconds while it's trying to decide how much adrenaline to dump into your system. That's when it gets interesting. Adrenaline will "blur" higher thought processes to a certain degree unless you've been in those kind of situations before. Repetitive training makes reactions into muscle memory and muscle memory doesn't involve as high of thought process as other processes. Fear exists, it's not a choice, but the effects of fear can be managed to a certain degree.

 

[GNTLGNT]

....I work in a place where I live with fear every day due to the danger of the environment....I have trained myself not to let it overcome me, but to keep me wary....if there is a threat, the mind will cause one to react in some way, shape or form....it is a coping mechanism of survival produced by our primitive hindbrain that for want of a better term, comprises our "survival instinct"....fear is the reflection of danger.....