Good to see you back lina. I always say follow your heart.
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I have just run across this now and have not seen anyone else's thoughts but my advice would be to go with your gut instincts. If something is telling you that 'something's not right' then trust your feelings.Hi everyone! I haven't been around here lately... Since the beginning of January things started falling apart for me. So I just did not have time and mental strength to come here or anywhere else. And I am really missing you all! I'll try and come here now and then...
Just to say a few words, I am still having problems at work, the economical situation here is very unstable and everyone is going through a very hard time. So, each day is very stressful and it's very, very hard. The situation at home is also not easy. What made it even worse, things are falling apart in my private life, too. I thing I could use some piece of advice, as you all here are more experienced in life.
Many of you remember how happy I was half a year ago, when I started dating the guy I am with now. Two things are making it complicated now. First, he has to move back to his native town, it is not far away from mine, but still we'll be able to meet only at weekends. What is even worse is that my family are finishing constructions works of our new appartment that is meant for me and in a month or so I can easily move there and I have to decide if I will be moving alone or ith my boyfriend. The problem is my family is very traditional and they don't want me to live with a guy without getting married first. And my boyfriend is not ready to make this step, he wants to live together with me for some period of time first... And I just don't know what to do. On one had, I understand him and it would be great to finally live together, but on the other hand, if he really wants to be with me he has to make some choice and do what's best for me... Again, I know he loves me, I am sure he will never hurt me. But something tells me something's not right. I don't want to push him into anything, and I woudn't be able to even if I wanted to. I am so afraid to make a mistake... Let alone there is nothing good that could make me go through all this.
I would appreciate your opinions, maybe some of you would tell me something from your experience. What is the best option here, what could I do?
I was thinking the same thing, not necessarily assuming he is holding something back; I'm simply realizing that young men are notorious for having cold feet when it comes to romantic commitment. I think it's a mistake to move in with him because he is showing signs of hesitation when it comes to your feelings and concerns, being unwilling to meet you halfway.I have just run across this now and have not seen anyone else's thoughts but my advice would be to go with your gut instincts. If something is telling you that 'something's not right' then trust your feelings.
Don't jump into a live-in situation if he is hesitant. Maybe there is more to the story than meets the eye i.e could he perhaps be holding back something from you?
I was thinking the same thing, not necessarily assuming he is holding something back; I'm simply realizing that young men are notorious for having cold feet when it comes to romantic commitment. I think it's a mistake to move in with him because he is showing signs of hesitation when it comes to your feelings and concerns, being unwilling to meet you halfway.
Neesy's question can be asked from two angles, the second of which occurs to me now: Maybe he is holding something back - himself. I think he may need you to give him time and space to make this serious decision about the future, yours and his together as well as individually, that if he's sincere he will appreciate your doing that. Meanwhile, let him realize the ball is in his court, that moving in with him at this time is not an option for you, and that he must decide. I encourage you not to be afraid of that decision. He eventually has to make it, with you living there or not. I think moving in with him will reinforce his indecision.
If you really want to live with him (despite your doubts), please explain how your parents can stop you?I think you are right, he is just young and it's a difficult decision for him. But I am sure he is not holding back anything, I know him too well. I am absolutely sure about his feelings. The biggest problem now is not him, as I understand he is not ready to marry yet. The problem is my parents, they will not allow us to live together and it will end bad because of them. I don't have the best relationship with my parents, they ruined too many things in my life. And now they are standing in my way, because I can be happy only with him and their traditional views are not modern at all and it can just ruin everything (not only with this guy, by the way! I doubt there is a guy who is willing to marry in such short notice!) My aunt tries to tell my mom that now time is different and it's perfectly normal to live with a guy, but my parents are just too stubborn. There is not way I can persuade them to let me live my life and make my own mistakes...
They won't allow this, simply like that... Unfortunately there would be little we could do against them.If you really want to live with him (despite your doubts), please explain how your parents can stop you?
They won't allow this, simply like that... Unfortunately there would be little we could do against them.
Well, anyway, things kind of got better today Honestly, a lot better, now I feel great and I think everything's gonna be just fine. I think I underestimated my guy, for a few days I really doubted it could work out and I was afraid we would have to break up in the end... We had a great weekend, a very happy St. Valentine's Day (he has done everything to make it a great day for me) and today he said he thought about the situation we are in and decided I was right and he was wrong. He said as soon as things settle down at work (we hope it will take some month or two) he will propose to me. He said it is the right thing to do for our sake and he realized he wants it, too. I was so happy to hear such words...
We hope that parents will be okay with the idea, too. We will come to them officially, saying about our decision. We hope it will be alright for everyone this way.
So again, thank you all for your support and all the words of advice! That's very helpful! It all helped me to get through the last week, that was really like hell for me.
Yeah, about this I am sure... I have never hoped I would be able to find such love for me, it makes me really happy!Oh wow! he must really love you very much