Narcissists
- Thread starter danie
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You're so vain, you probably think this thread is about you. Don't you?
I've learned a method over the years that helps me sort out if someone is self-absorbed or truly a narcissist.
We all do stupid, thoughtless, hurtful things from time to time. No one is perfect. But when you have one person in your life who's causing you to have a conversation like this with yourself, you've got trouble and the only way to fix it is to move on without it:
Did he mean to do that? He can't have meant to actually just do that. Everybody just saw that, right?
Does she realize what a terrible thing she said? She knows that stuff hurts me. She didn't say it in a mean way, but she can't have NOT known, could she?
Every time he says he's going to do something for me, he doesn't. And then he acts like we never had a conversation about it in the first place. Is he really forgetting all that stuff?
In other words, if someone's baffling behavior is causing you to question whether they truly intend to be a giant poomonster, then yes they are a giant poomonster.
We all do stupid, thoughtless, hurtful things from time to time. No one is perfect. But when you have one person in your life who's causing you to have a conversation like this with yourself, you've got trouble and the only way to fix it is to move on without it:
Did he mean to do that? He can't have meant to actually just do that. Everybody just saw that, right?
Does she realize what a terrible thing she said? She knows that stuff hurts me. She didn't say it in a mean way, but she can't have NOT known, could she?
Every time he says he's going to do something for me, he doesn't. And then he acts like we never had a conversation about it in the first place. Is he really forgetting all that stuff?
In other words, if someone's baffling behavior is causing you to question whether they truly intend to be a giant poomonster, then yes they are a giant poomonster.
Grrr, narcissists. I feel a rant coming up......
.... unless you happened to marry one
From what I was taught Narcissism is a personality disorder. My initial thought is walk away; who needs or wants one's life affected negatively. You can TRY talking to the person about it
if he or she means a lot to you; but good luck with that.
Advice? Well, I don’t know much about being a Narcissist because I’m not perfect (although I’m so darn close it’s scary at times 
)
Seriously though, when I do converse with someone like that, I usually display an uninterested attitude and appear distracted. It pisses them off.
)Seriously though, when I do converse with someone like that, I usually display an uninterested attitude and appear distracted. It pisses them off.
Hey, danie!
They USED to have that little voice inside but it got frustrated and ran away.
Hugs!
I'd answer all your questions, but I'm still looking in the mirror.................
I don't think so, either. Sounds like he's been off-kilter the whole time.
Only after I tell you what it is.
What I think is fascinating, they don't recognize themselves. Or their behavior. 
(It make my eye twitch.)
(It make my eye twitch.)
Oh yeah he was,.but when we first met he was what we all thought was just a little oddball arrogant...he
joined a comedy group I started with eight or so others, so a lot of it we first figured was either him just being a character, time went on and it was obvious it Was his character.
Further time goes on, as it does, and it just seemed to keep magnifying til he was almost unsufferable, the lying almost constant, and oh my word they got whopperesque.
Here's the thing, though he wouldn't get him to budge on admitting a damn thing, if you knew him well enough you could tell he knew he had a problem.
Now may could be he might have lied to his own self what that might have been, but he knew something wasn't right...course out loud it had to be everybody else what had the problem, and that's usually the conversations where we had to have a 'session', and could be it was the fear of a a good ol' fashioned asswhipin' that would straighten him out, least for a bit, but I like to think he at least thought about it...hey Ed wasn't stupid, wayyy far from it, and he had a real good education, so I'll keep believing that.
I mean hey, for what ever he was, a pain in the butt, and noggin', and not just a bit of an expensive date, he was still my pal, and a pal's a pal's a pal, and we all need 'em, even narcsissists, well you know, even if the crazy bastards would never admit it if their heads were on fire
Eh... I actually have no experience of narcissists. I mean, i have met arrogant and bossy persons but that does not mean that they are narcissistic, does it? But as to what it is i don't think you can cure a narcissistic person, possibly, with luck, help her/him adjust to the rest of humanity. It is, as somebody pointed out, a personality disorder. But i think it exist many people who arent so intelligent when it comes to how other people react to their actions. They can be very intelligent in other ways. That does not mean that they can't, if someone points it out, see that they may have done the wrong thing. A narcissist, of course, would never see that.