Need an Excuse

[not_nadine]

For not showing up in work on Monday.

Open to all all suggestions.

My hamster is trapped? Can't tie shoelace? Car is looking at me?

Boss will be fine with that, I'm sure.

 

[Dana Jean]

Tell him your uterus fell out. I bet he doesn't ask another question.

 

[mjs9153]

Or aliens landed,kidnapped your cat,and transported him to the planet X:CLT$ty9ookkk.. and now your mission this day is to raise an interstellar posse of superheroes,clerk/typists,and mid level government bureacrats to blast off to that planet and rescue his feline arse..

 

[Grandpa]

Stalking ex-lover is waiting outside your door.

Ingrown toenail makes it too painful to walk.

Your second cousin by marriage just reported with [du jour medical condition]. You're not related by blood, but she's like a sister to you.

Shampooed the dog and found fleas. Now they're all over the house, and it needs disinfecting. You'll be out for a day.

In line with Dana Jean, "female issues." As a male boss, that gets me every time. However, it is not a hand to be overplayed. So to speak.

 

[RandallFlagg19]

Tell him your uterus fell out. I bet he doesn't ask another question.

Best excuse ever.

 

[kingricefan]

'Explosive diarrhea' always works.....

 

[staropeace]

'Explosive diarrhea' always works.....

So does projectile vomiting.

 

[kingricefan]

So does projectile vomiting.

I've done that once in my life and it wasn't pretty. More made it onto the mirror above the sink (couldn't make it to the toilet fast enough) than in the sink itself. Ewwwwwwww!!

 

[hipmamajen]

Don't call in.

Tuesday morning walk in looking rested and ask everyone how their Memorial Day Weekend was. Make sure to include your Boss, ask him/her if they went fishing, or maybe hit up some of the great sales around town. Tell them how you did your Spring Cleaning like you do every Memorial Day weekend, then relaxed and had a nice long bubble bath last night, and now you're totally ready to conquer the short work week.

If you do this, please report back and let us know how long it took before someone broke the news to you.

 

[DiO'Bolic]

Women problems. If your boss is a guy, it will work... guaranteed! We're supposed to completely accept them as legit excuses and not allowed to question them.

 

[Neesy]

Women problems. If your boss is a guy, it will work... guaranteed! We're supposed to completely accept them as legit excuses and not allowed to question them.

Women problems?

Spoiler: quote from female comedian

What? Can't parallel park? Can't get credit?

Sorry - I think this female stand-up comic told these jokes in the 80s or 90s

 

[not_nadine]

Did a combo talk of the great uterus fall and memorial day. Was sad for it, have to stay home. Gotta go, Aliens at door with ex lover and my cat.
I'll be in tomorrow.


I'm gold.

Thanks.

 

[champ1966]

My boss told me if I didn't come in Monday, not to bother the rest of the week. I love my boss

 

[not_nadine]

My boss told me if I didn't come in Monday, not to bother the rest of the week. I love my boss

 

[arista]

Boss told me to have good day-took the day off... Just kidding.

 

[not_nadine]

Don't call in.

Tuesday morning walk in looking rested and ask everyone how their Memorial Day Weekend was. Make sure to include your Boss, ask him/her if they went fishing, or maybe hit up some of the great sales around town. Tell them how you did your Spring Cleaning like you do every Memorial Day weekend, then relaxed and had a nice long bubble bath last night, and now you're totally ready to conquer the short work week.

If you do this, please report back and let us know how long it took before someone broke the news to you.

I love this post so much. Thankee, Jenners.

 

[Sundrop]

I haven't showed up for work on Monday in over five years.......

 

[Out of Order]

I haven't showed up for work on Monday in over five years.......

Hangovers?

 

[Sundrop]

Hangovers?

Sometimes. But I never call in, either. I just go in on Tuesday and ask how everyone's weekend was.....

 

[DiO'Bolic]

I haven't showed up for work on Monday in over five years.......

You don't like Monday's?