Put Your Feet In The Stirrups, Scoot Down, and Relax.

[swiftdog2.0]

What is all the bru hoo hah in here?? (sorry, couldn't resist )

Seriously though, does not sound like a fun time at the drs. office. Glad I don't have to go through that.

For us guys it's just "turn your head and cough" until you hit forty. After that it's bend over and grip the table.....

Doc (after donning the rubber glove)- "Do you feel any pressure?"

SwiftDog- "Yes, Doc. On the roof of my mouth!!"

 

[Grandpa]

One of the other docs in the practice volunteered from time to time at a hospital in a sketchy part of town on weekends. To her surprise, she recognized one of the practice's patients in the ER, all coiffed and dressed nicely. Definitely not your typical Saturday night gunshot wound complaint.

She decided the woman would be her next patient. When it got down to business, it turned out the woman, who was around 65 or so, had been masturbating with a light bulb - and it had gotten stuck inside her. She'd gone to the hospital across town because her husband (out of town at a conference) was a doc and she didn't want stories to circulate if she was recognized by any of his cronies in the part of town where she lived.

How that woman drove from Dunwoody to Decatur without being cut is beyond me.

I'm trying hard not to talk about the utter appropriateness of her driving from Dunwoody.

Anyway, a doc friend told me what he swears is a true story from his intern days in ob-gyn rounds when the young, eager docs are gathered around to observe a pelvic exam, and the mentoring doc, crouching down with his spelunking gear, warns the patient, not quite to her face, "Now, you're going to feel a little prick."

Muffled hilarity ensues from the gathered crowd. And probably from the subject as well.

 

[GNTLGNT]

Just poke me and let me leave.

...no cuddle time for you huh?....

 

[GNTLGNT]

It's never enjoyable to have someone rummaging around down there who isn't doing it for *ahem* fun reasons, but I don't dread the gyno visit like some people I know. It's an important doctor visit and can save your life in some instances.

..."rummaging around down there"....my new intro to foreplay....

 

[misery chastain loves co.]

 

[FlakeNoir]

View attachment 6233

OMGaaaaaaawd!

 

[not_nadine]

 

[GNTLGNT]

OMGaaaaaaawd!

...and he giggles whilst rummaging....

 

[FlakeNoir]

...and he giggles whilst rummaging....

 

[swiftdog2.0]

They should call that the meatball sandwich..........

 

[GNTLGNT]

They should call that the meatball sandwich..........

...or the organ grinder....

 

[DiO'Bolic]

I've seen those machines but thought it was for some exclusive club... with the the sign on it stating "MEMBERS ONLY."

 

[Grandpa]

I've seen those machines but thought it was for some exclusive club... with the the sign on it stating "MEMBERS ONLY."

I don't care who you are. That's funny, right thar. Brilliant, DiO.

 

[hipmamajen]

I have a horrible, horrible, terrible, inappropriate "stirrups and speculum" story. Do we still have groups to post in? Would it be enough to put a "spoiler" tag on it?

I really am not sure how to proceed... I'll PM Ms. Mod....

 

[FlakeNoir]

I have a horrible, horrible, terrible, inappropriate "stirrups and speculum" story. Do we still have groups to post in? Would it be enough to put a "spoiler" tag on it?

I really am not sure how to proceed... I'll PM Ms. Mod....

I'm just glad you said you'd P.M Marsha and not me! (Because... I'm eating breakfast right now and don't wanna lose my appetite. )

 

[not_nadine]

It's about Baby Bonecrusher, I just know it!

 

[hipmamajen]

It's about Baby Bonecrusher, I just know it!

No, not that the kids didn't inspire an entire book of stories!