Regrets
- Thread starter mjs9153
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This message board permanently closed on June 30th, 2020 at 4PM EDT and is no longer accepting new members.
They all seemed like your normal posts to me! And I've already told you I dig your posts, Dude.
Love the new avatar! Did you get it from the Post a GIF thread?
I didn't know you were so bashful!
I got it from Animated Avatars and yes GIF
Love the new avatar! Did you get it from the Post a GIF thread?
I didn't know you were so bashful!
I had just seen it yesterday in Siggy's "Answer with a GIF/Image" thread, and thought you might have seen it there too.
This is a great topic. I haven't read through all the replies, but what I have read is insightful.
This question about regrets comes at an opportune time. I've been thinking lately about what I regret. Of course, there are the usual suspects: why didn't I invest in stocks earlier, why didn't I also learn about options as well as stock investing, stuff like that.
But the real reason I am replying to this post is because I was planning on writing something on the anniversary of the Ferguson event, but decided against it, thankfully. I had actually started feeling regret over all the discussions I had last year over such hot topics. If you think about it, engaging angry debates on a discussion forum is pretty meaningless (except for one thread where I was defending myself against a personal attack, I was never angry, and even then, only slightly so), especially for someone like myself who is only interested in idea exchange and not in winning a debate; I'm not good at the science of debating, everyone beats me on that. There's no way a forum discussion will go viral and influence real public policy; the relevant actors can't hear us, and even if they could, they wouldn't care. Could I change Rand Paul's opinion on minimum wage, for instance, even if he read what I had to say? Not a chance. Things just change on their own. And besides, as someone here once said, they've got topic fatigue on certain issues I'd bring up. A very fair point, and it struck me then that it doesn't really matter, and that discussion is only a waste.
Whether it is the subject of teacher pay (I definitely regret when I offered my own idea on starting salary and asked for my debate opponents to offer a number, when they really didn't want to) or police brutality or economic issues, we can debate all we want...no one cares. Literally. The sounds never reach the corridors of power. I also regret criticizing King's work, because that doesn't go over too well here, either. I recently offended some with a critique of a King idea and, well, again, what's the point?
I'm not saying I won't engage these topics in the future...but hopefully I won't to the degree I did before.
And on the moving on thing: I agree, mjs, mostly on that, especially with people who may have been bullies in the past to someone and want to apologize and move on...that only aids the bully. On more mundane things like making a mistake, I would say learning and moving on has its value. I know what you mostly meant, though. Also: on that image with the Twain quote -- I will disagree a bit and advise people not to regret not doing risky things. If you never climb Mount Everest or scuba dive, it's probably okay (perhaps I am taking that quote too literally, I should point out).
This question about regrets comes at an opportune time. I've been thinking lately about what I regret. Of course, there are the usual suspects: why didn't I invest in stocks earlier, why didn't I also learn about options as well as stock investing, stuff like that.
But the real reason I am replying to this post is because I was planning on writing something on the anniversary of the Ferguson event, but decided against it, thankfully. I had actually started feeling regret over all the discussions I had last year over such hot topics. If you think about it, engaging angry debates on a discussion forum is pretty meaningless (except for one thread where I was defending myself against a personal attack, I was never angry, and even then, only slightly so), especially for someone like myself who is only interested in idea exchange and not in winning a debate; I'm not good at the science of debating, everyone beats me on that. There's no way a forum discussion will go viral and influence real public policy; the relevant actors can't hear us, and even if they could, they wouldn't care. Could I change Rand Paul's opinion on minimum wage, for instance, even if he read what I had to say? Not a chance. Things just change on their own. And besides, as someone here once said, they've got topic fatigue on certain issues I'd bring up. A very fair point, and it struck me then that it doesn't really matter, and that discussion is only a waste.
Whether it is the subject of teacher pay (I definitely regret when I offered my own idea on starting salary and asked for my debate opponents to offer a number, when they really didn't want to) or police brutality or economic issues, we can debate all we want...no one cares. Literally. The sounds never reach the corridors of power. I also regret criticizing King's work, because that doesn't go over too well here, either. I recently offended some with a critique of a King idea and, well, again, what's the point?
I'm not saying I won't engage these topics in the future...but hopefully I won't to the degree I did before.
And on the moving on thing: I agree, mjs, mostly on that, especially with people who may have been bullies in the past to someone and want to apologize and move on...that only aids the bully. On more mundane things like making a mistake, I would say learning and moving on has its value. I know what you mostly meant, though. Also: on that image with the Twain quote -- I will disagree a bit and advise people not to regret not doing risky things. If you never climb Mount Everest or scuba dive, it's probably okay (perhaps I am taking that quote too literally, I should point out).
This is a very nice post, and I (esp as a teacher) appreciate it.
Well . . . here again I suppose it would depend upon the nature and tenor of the criticism.
I can't imagine that this place was intended to be an echo chamber, but neither are folks going to put up with broad-stroke bashing without tangible support from the work itself. In the old dawn, when that hopeless romantic, Kid Charlemagne, was still running around loose, he would purposefully post outlandish interpretations of certain stories as a means of getting people to expand upon the idea that they "liked it" and "it was good."
As you may expect, it was kind of hit and miss, and the Kid would probably have worn out his welcome soon enough if he hadn't decided to go west on his own, in search of something that wasn't there.
In any case, what's the point?
The point is to encourage discussion. Polite, informed, reasoned discussion. A person who comes in here and tells me why he did or not like a particular thing can engage me endlessly.
But if you're just coming in here to say "King sucks" . . .
Well . . . don't bother.
It was a criticism of a short story I hadn't read, but had read many reviews about. Didn't sound like a story for me, and I pontificated on how it could have been a story for me by adding an element to it that linked it to another piece of his bibliography. For some reason, the criticism was offensive (which is okay, everyone has a right to an opinion). My thoughts on how the linkage could be done was eliminated because it violated the terms of service for posting creative thoughts (apparently). I just mention this so it's understood I was not being impolite, not to get in any big discussion about it.
I appreciate your response, and you're correct, no echo chamber need apply, but if one is trying to annoy on purpose, that is wrong.
My overwhelming emotion is one of discouragement, fueled by regret. Enemies, as I said, I bought into, played along with, or at least failed to administer proper retribution for their mistreatment. Friends, I feel I have let down. I wouldn't have to worry about my enemies permanently gaining the upper hand had I succeeded in turning the tables as I always intended. It's those unturned tables which worry me most. My counselor thinks I am living in the past. Well, I am retracing my steps with "Where did I go wrong?" wondering if anything I could have done differently at any point could have prevented the horrid and inexorable fate I envision looming to engulf me. I regret not keeping at my writing more but had I spent all my time beating my brains out over it and still not succeeded I would regret that worse! Always hate wasted effort!
I feel that looking back can only benefit us if we use it to improve whatever lies ahead. If we're only regretting the things we haven't done, (& in some cases, have done) how can we possibly find the energy or desire to make the 'now' and the 'later' better?
Looking back feeds depression, looking too far ahead can do the same... baby steps, just deal with the day. And then the night, let tomorrow find you looking forward.
I always regretted not getting a college education. So I did something about, I went back to school and got it.