I'm bummed today because...

[GNTLGNT]

For me, this is personal to write about but maybe I will take a chance. This time in September many years ago my father passed away.
On the 29th September everything changed for me, his death chattered my world and I feel this empty space in my chest that never stops hurting, an ache that just doesn't stop. Yes, he was my father but he was my best friend, my mentor, my confidante too. He meant more to me than I can explain, he was such a good listener and always seemed to know the right thing to say and more importantly, when to say nothing -- just listen. He lives on through my daughters. My youngest has his height and his eyes, my oldest has that edge to her personality -- the attribute you respect in one who says little but when she does you listen.
I hope he rests peacefully. He was a great Dad. And I thank him for all he taught me.
I took a chance writing this but you are good people and thought you would understand. For me, it needed to be said and I cannot think of any other place I would rather write it. And you know, it must be the right thing to do because the tears are streaming down my face and the relief of saying it just feels better.
It may be only 7 am but I think I need to go for a walk now.
Thanks for reading, thanks for listening and most of all thanks to each and every one of you for just being you. I am so lucky to have met you, and its a privilege to call you my friends.
Alexandra M

...and privileged to read this homage to your father....what a wonderful way to honor the memory of a good man....he still lives in your memories and your children and that's the greatest gift you could be given....

 

[GNTLGNT]

My heart aches for you too. I know this pain. I know this longing to talk to them. The split second when you think, I need to call _______ and realize they aren't there to answer anymore. It is an anxious gnawing creature that overwhelms a person.

Richard Chizmar of Cemetery Dance back in 2009? 2010? wrote this beautiful piece about loss and grieving after he lost his father -- I wish I could find it again to share with you.

Honor your dad by living your best life, working hard, playing hard, laughing, loving and giving out to the world the energy you want back.

“My Father and Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine” (by Richard Chizmar)

….this may touch on some of it....

 

[Dana Jean]

“My Father and Ellery Queen’s Mystery Magazine” (by Richard Chizmar)

….this may touch on some of it....

Nice article, but not the one I would love to share. He speaks strictly to loss and grieving in the one I'm looking for. But thanks for a very informative article, I loved that too!

 

[FlakeNoir]

For me, this is personal to write about but maybe I will take a chance. This time in September many years ago my father passed away.
On the 29th September everything changed for me, his death chattered my world and I feel this empty space in my chest that never stops hurting, an ache that just doesn't stop. Yes, he was my father but he was my best friend, my mentor, my confidante too. He meant more to me than I can explain, he was such a good listener and always seemed to know the right thing to say and more importantly, when to say nothing -- just listen. He lives on through my daughters. My youngest has his height and his eyes, my oldest has that edge to her personality -- the attribute you respect in one who says little but when she does you listen.
I hope he rests peacefully. He was a great Dad. And I thank him for all he taught me.
I took a chance writing this but you are good people and thought you would understand. For me, it needed to be said and I cannot think of any other place I would rather write it. And you know, it must be the right thing to do because the tears are streaming down my face and the relief of saying it just feels better.
It may be only 7 am but I think I need to go for a walk now.
Thanks for reading, thanks for listening and most of all thanks to each and every one of you for just being you. I am so lucky to have met you, and its a privilege to call you my friends.
Alexandra M

What a beautiful tribute to your dad, I'm so sorry for your heart-ache Alexandra M... what a wonderful relationship the two of you must have shared, this is precious. Hugs to (((you))) at this time of remembrance.

 

[osnafrank]

For me, this is personal to write about but maybe I will take a chance. This time in September many years ago my father passed away.
On the 29th September everything changed for me, his death chattered my world and I feel this empty space in my chest that never stops hurting, an ache that just doesn't stop. Yes, he was my father but he was my best friend, my mentor, my confidante too. He meant more to me than I can explain, he was such a good listener and always seemed to know the right thing to say and more importantly, when to say nothing -- just listen. He lives on through my daughters. My youngest has his height and his eyes, my oldest has that edge to her personality -- the attribute you respect in one who says little but when she does you listen.
I hope he rests peacefully. He was a great Dad. And I thank him for all he taught me.
I took a chance writing this but you are good people and thought you would understand. For me, it needed to be said and I cannot think of any other place I would rather write it. And you know, it must be the right thing to do because the tears are streaming down my face and the relief of saying it just feels better.
It may be only 7 am but I think I need to go for a walk now.
Thanks for reading, thanks for listening and most of all thanks to each and every one of you for just being you. I am so lucky to have met you, and its a privilege to call you my friends.
Alexandra M

For your Dad

 

[CoriSCapnSkip]

 

[Alexandra M]

(((Sandy))) Lovely tribute to your dad.

Thank you, it means a lot to me.

 

[Alexandra M]

The loss of a parent, especially one who was such an important and close part of ones life tugs at the heart with each passing anniversary. Fill that empty space with every positive memory there is from your life with your dad. Fill it with joyful times. Think about all the skills he gave to you to raise your children with love. KNow he watches over and still guides you in many ways. May that walk ease some of your pain. Feel the hugs of this Ka_Tet. Know we are here-- always.

Thanks Spidey, you always seem to know the right thing to say. I don't feel so bad now knowing that you understand it doesn't seem to get any easier as the years go by.

 

[Alexandra M]

My heart aches for you too. I know this pain. I know this longing to talk to them. The split second when you think, I need to call _______ and realize they aren't there to answer anymore. It is an anxious gnawing creature that overwhelms a person.

Richard Chizmar of Cemetery Dance back in 2009? 2010? wrote this beautiful piece about loss and grieving after he lost his father -- I wish I could find it again to share with you.

Honor your dad by living your best life, working hard, playing hard, laughing, loving and giving out to the world the energy you want back.

Dana Jean
Sometimes I find myself doing just that. One of the girls will be having a hard time with something and I'll start to think that I will have to get Dad to call her or on the range the other day I thought what did he tell me about trajectory and thinking I will call him later about it.
If you do happen to come across the piece RC wrote I'd like to read it.
Thanks DJ

 

[Alexandra M]

For your Dad

osnafrank
Thanks Frank. Bless your heart, it's lovely.

 

[Alexandra M]

I listen to Green Day so much. This song and 'I Walk Alone' are my favourites.

 

[Alexandra M]

...and privileged to read this homage to your father....what a wonderful way to honor the memory of a good man....he still lives in your memories and your children and that's the greatest gift you could be given....

Yes, you are right and they ask about him many times, especially Anne and I love to tell her about him and she seems to genuinely want to know.
It would have been nice for them have known their Grandfather.

 

[Alexandra M]

What a beautiful tribute to your dad, I'm so sorry for your heart-ache Alexandra M... what a wonderful relationship the two of you must have shared, this is precious. Hugs to (((you))) at this time of remembrance.

Thanks FlakeNoir. You're right, it was an amazing relationship. I was a very lucky daughter.

 

[Tery]

(((Alexandra))) Losing a parent is really hard. Sounds like you and your Dad had a lovely relationship.

 

[ghost19]

For me, this is personal to write about but maybe I will take a chance. This time in September many years ago my father passed away.
On the 29th September everything changed for me, his death chattered my world and I feel this empty space in my chest that never stops hurting, an ache that just doesn't stop. Yes, he was my father but he was my best friend, my mentor, my confidante too. He meant more to me than I can explain, he was such a good listener and always seemed to know the right thing to say and more importantly, when to say nothing -- just listen. He lives on through my daughters. My youngest has his height and his eyes, my oldest has that edge to her personality -- the attribute you respect in one who says little but when she does you listen.
I hope he rests peacefully. He was a great Dad. And I thank him for all he taught me.
I took a chance writing this but you are good people and thought you would understand. For me, it needed to be said and I cannot think of any other place I would rather write it. And you know, it must be the right thing to do because the tears are streaming down my face and the relief of saying it just feels better.
It may be only 7 am but I think I need to go for a walk now.
Thanks for reading, thanks for listening and most of all thanks to each and every one of you for just being you. I am so lucky to have met you, and its a privilege to call you my friends.
Alexandra M

Very sorry for your loss AM.

 

[Neesy]

For me, this is personal to write about but maybe I will take a chance. This time in September many years ago my father passed away.
On the 29th September everything changed for me, his death chattered my world and I feel this empty space in my chest that never stops hurting, an ache that just doesn't stop. Yes, he was my father but he was my best friend, my mentor, my confidante too. He meant more to me than I can explain, he was such a good listener and always seemed to know the right thing to say and more importantly, when to say nothing -- just listen. He lives on through my daughters. My youngest has his height and his eyes, my oldest has that edge to her personality -- the attribute you respect in one who says little but when she does you listen.
I hope he rests peacefully. He was a great Dad. And I thank him for all he taught me.
I took a chance writing this but you are good people and thought you would understand. For me, it needed to be said and I cannot think of any other place I would rather write it. And you know, it must be the right thing to do because the tears are streaming down my face and the relief of saying it just feels better.
It may be only 7 am but I think I need to go for a walk now.
Thanks for reading, thanks for listening and most of all thanks to each and every one of you for just being you. I am so lucky to have met you, and its a privilege to call you my friends.
Alexandra M

((((((Alexandra))))))

 

[CoriSCapnSkip]

Tomorrow is the one month anniversary of when I hurt my back and it and my right leg have not stopped hurting in all that time despite two massages, two acupunctures, and one chiropractic adjustment. Now an MRI seems indicated and it will be another week before I can get in to see my doctor to even SCHEDULE tests! Also I think God or the Universe or something is seriously messing with me. I have felt awful for years and the only things which help much at all are keeping busy on tasks and projects. I had such trouble with my hands and arms that held me up on many things, but I started a supplement which helped with those pains and also with my skin and had cortisone shots in the joints of my right hand. That got me in good enough shape to go out and injure my back. I am afraid it is something absolutely awful because when I suffered an attack a doctor (not my own) said was just a bladder infection it turned out to be SIX kidney stones, one of which was SO HUGE any normal person would have been in the ER screaming for mercy. As it was they had to operate. Now if my back and leg hurt enough to keep me in a constant state of distraction and irritation, what awful condition are they going to find and what painful procedure are they going to have to do to fix it? As icing on the cake, when it was too hot to do anything for months I did not do much and so did not hurt myself. The minute the weather gets good enough to do anything I hurt myself too much to do anything else.

 

[Spideyman]

Tomorrow is the one month anniversary of when I hurt my back and it and my right leg have not stopped hurting in all that time despite two massages, two acupunctures, and one chiropractic adjustment. Now an MRI seems indicated and it will be another week before I can get in to see my doctor to even SCHEDULE tests! Also I think God or the Universe or something is seriously messing with me. I have felt awful for years and the only things which help much at all are keeping busy on tasks and projects. I had such trouble with my hands and arms that held me up on many things, but I started a supplement which helped with those pains and also with my skin and had cortisone shots in the joints of my right hand. That got me in good enough shape to go out and injure my back. I am afraid it is something absolutely awful because when I suffered an attack a doctor (not my own) said was just a bladder infection it turned out to be SIX kidney stones, one of which was SO HUGE any normal person would have been in the ER screaming for mercy. As it was they had to operate. Now if my back and leg hurt enough to keep me in a constant state of distraction and irritation, what awful condition are they going to find and what painful procedure are they going to have to do to fix it? As icing on the cake, when it was too hot to do anything for months I did not do much and so did not hurt myself. The minute the weather gets good enough to do anything I hurt myself too much to do anything else.

Keep to the positive thoughts, law of attraction. Life isn't fair, and health is always an issue. Question what the doctors say-- they are not always right- - get a second opinion. You are stronger than you think, Cori. Will be manifesting only good results and simple answers.

 

[HollyGolightly]

I'll be thinking of you on Sept 29th Alexandra M - what a gift you had in your dad, and he in you!

 

[Alexandra M]

I'll be thinking of you on Sept 29th Alexandra M - what a gift you had in your dad, and he in you!

Thanks Holly