I wrote this today based on my family's real-life experiences.
It's 5:30 a.m.
You are awakened by your child in the next room:
"Hey Mommy?" he calls.
"Yes buddy?" you answer.
"I got nothing to say to you!"
"Aaawww man", you say.
This repeats every 15 seconds for the next hour and a half.
If you give the "wrong" replies, if you doze off, if you take too long to answer or if he detects a hint of frustration in your voice, he will kick his walls or punch his windows.
Occasionally, he will deviate from the script and ask if he can get a bath yet. You have to time the bath precisely though because if he is ready for school too early, he will have to wait longer for his bus and waiting makes him so much worse.
This isn't a naughty toddler. This is a teenage boy with the strength of three men.
When you can finally run his bath water, he washes and dresses quickly then runs outside to wait.
You are thinking "that went well", when you hear him yelling and stomping on the deck.
You go outside and ask him how you can help, but he only says that he is "sad". When you ask him why, he threatens to "break the house".
He has the communication skills of a five year old.
When his bus arrives, he curses at the driver and aide and tries to hit them.
He bangs the window and kicks the seat in front of him. You don't know what to do. You can't drive him yourself or keep him home because you have someone coming in 10 minutes to reconstruct your kitchen (because in addition to all the "special" issues you face everyday, you have normal problems as well: currently, a dishwasher that you didn't know was leaking until your floor was half rotted away).
So you send him off and thank God for those understanding ladies who get him to school safely.
When he gets to his (special-needs only) school, his favorite aide will take him to the swing room in the hopes of calming him enough to get through his day.
You will stay home and have a panic attack every time the phone rings.
He will come home in the afternoon and stomp up to his room, where he will eat a snack while starting another round of "Hey Mommy".
If you are lucky, he will hold it together for a while. If you are lucky he will write little stories he calls "lists" and ask you to read them aloud. If you are lucky you will see smiles and hear giggles before bedtime.
But you are seldom lucky.
More likely, you will hear yelling and banging and stomping. You will go into his room and try to talk him down enough to prevent the situation from escalating.
When it does escalate and he becomes uncontrollable, your husband (who was trying to make dinner, because everyone still has to eat) will come attempt to restrain him before anyone gets hurt.
Sometimes this works, but most times it does not.
When you know your child is hell bent on hurting someone, you put on a thick heavy robe so when he bites and scratches you, it will hurt less.
You hope he won't break your glasses again or pull chunks of hair out of your head.
It takes you and your husband both to hold your child down, but every now and then a foot gets free and you get kicked it the face. Last time, you thought he broke your nose.
Since he likes to do things that get the biggest reaction, he will tear pictures off the wall to get to the holes he made before. He will rip insulation out and pull on electrical wiring.
When you are truly afraid he will hurt himself, you can call the county's mental health crisis line.
They will not send anyone. They will offer suggestions. They will tell you to call 911.
So you do it. You call 911.
Through your tears, you explain the situation and they send help.
They come quickly, but your child has already calmed down a bit when they arrive.
You child loves police, so he is excited to see officers and EMTs in his room.
(As upset as you are, you can't help but wonder what these people must think of this room...with cardboard patches and posters covering holes, misspelled words scribbled all over the walls. The only furniture is a mattress and a dresser. He has broken everything else. His bed, box spring, tables, chairs, toyboxes - all torn apart with his bare hands.
Most nights he still wets the bed. Even though there is a mattress protector that you disinfect daily, you're sure the room smells as bad as it looks.)
Your child is quiet as the EMTs lead him to the ambulance, because even though he appears sedate, that can change in the blink of an eye.
He permits an EMT to buckle him onto the stretcher and proceeds to enjoy the ride. He turns around and actually smiles at you while you sob.
When you get close to the hospital, the EMT radios ahead and asks them to prepare a safe room.
As you accompany him into the ER, you can read the faces of the staff. They expected an out-of-control crazy person and instead here is this cute little boy who wouldn't hurt a fly.
They are couteous but probably thinking you overreacted and are wasting everyone's time.
You both are taken into a room. A nurse gives your child a hospital gown and pants, which he happily changes into. He lies down on the bed. When the nurse asks him if he wants a blanket, he replies "Yes. Please."
When you are alone, he asks "Mommy, can we sleep here tonight?"
This is an adventure to him. A field trip.
You know with complete certainty that future meltdowns will involve him asking you to "call the ambulance".
After a couple hours without a single negative behavior, a doctor comes in. There isn't much he can do, since no one has witnessed anything except a calm, happy child and none of you have any injuries.
He offers a mild sedative to assure your child stays calm during the drive home.
It is long past his bedtime and you know meltdowns are more likely when he's tired, so you allow it.
You are discharged and it is a quiet ride home. He goes right upstairs and puts himself to bed. He sleeps until the next morning.
At 5:30 a.m. you hear "Hey Mommy?"
It's 5:30 a.m.
You are awakened by your child in the next room:
"Hey Mommy?" he calls.
"Yes buddy?" you answer.
"I got nothing to say to you!"
"Aaawww man", you say.
This repeats every 15 seconds for the next hour and a half.
If you give the "wrong" replies, if you doze off, if you take too long to answer or if he detects a hint of frustration in your voice, he will kick his walls or punch his windows.
Occasionally, he will deviate from the script and ask if he can get a bath yet. You have to time the bath precisely though because if he is ready for school too early, he will have to wait longer for his bus and waiting makes him so much worse.
This isn't a naughty toddler. This is a teenage boy with the strength of three men.
When you can finally run his bath water, he washes and dresses quickly then runs outside to wait.
You are thinking "that went well", when you hear him yelling and stomping on the deck.
You go outside and ask him how you can help, but he only says that he is "sad". When you ask him why, he threatens to "break the house".
He has the communication skills of a five year old.
When his bus arrives, he curses at the driver and aide and tries to hit them.
He bangs the window and kicks the seat in front of him. You don't know what to do. You can't drive him yourself or keep him home because you have someone coming in 10 minutes to reconstruct your kitchen (because in addition to all the "special" issues you face everyday, you have normal problems as well: currently, a dishwasher that you didn't know was leaking until your floor was half rotted away).
So you send him off and thank God for those understanding ladies who get him to school safely.
When he gets to his (special-needs only) school, his favorite aide will take him to the swing room in the hopes of calming him enough to get through his day.
You will stay home and have a panic attack every time the phone rings.
He will come home in the afternoon and stomp up to his room, where he will eat a snack while starting another round of "Hey Mommy".
If you are lucky, he will hold it together for a while. If you are lucky he will write little stories he calls "lists" and ask you to read them aloud. If you are lucky you will see smiles and hear giggles before bedtime.
But you are seldom lucky.
More likely, you will hear yelling and banging and stomping. You will go into his room and try to talk him down enough to prevent the situation from escalating.
When it does escalate and he becomes uncontrollable, your husband (who was trying to make dinner, because everyone still has to eat) will come attempt to restrain him before anyone gets hurt.
Sometimes this works, but most times it does not.
When you know your child is hell bent on hurting someone, you put on a thick heavy robe so when he bites and scratches you, it will hurt less.
You hope he won't break your glasses again or pull chunks of hair out of your head.
It takes you and your husband both to hold your child down, but every now and then a foot gets free and you get kicked it the face. Last time, you thought he broke your nose.
Since he likes to do things that get the biggest reaction, he will tear pictures off the wall to get to the holes he made before. He will rip insulation out and pull on electrical wiring.
When you are truly afraid he will hurt himself, you can call the county's mental health crisis line.
They will not send anyone. They will offer suggestions. They will tell you to call 911.
So you do it. You call 911.
Through your tears, you explain the situation and they send help.
They come quickly, but your child has already calmed down a bit when they arrive.
You child loves police, so he is excited to see officers and EMTs in his room.
(As upset as you are, you can't help but wonder what these people must think of this room...with cardboard patches and posters covering holes, misspelled words scribbled all over the walls. The only furniture is a mattress and a dresser. He has broken everything else. His bed, box spring, tables, chairs, toyboxes - all torn apart with his bare hands.
Most nights he still wets the bed. Even though there is a mattress protector that you disinfect daily, you're sure the room smells as bad as it looks.)
Your child is quiet as the EMTs lead him to the ambulance, because even though he appears sedate, that can change in the blink of an eye.
He permits an EMT to buckle him onto the stretcher and proceeds to enjoy the ride. He turns around and actually smiles at you while you sob.
When you get close to the hospital, the EMT radios ahead and asks them to prepare a safe room.
As you accompany him into the ER, you can read the faces of the staff. They expected an out-of-control crazy person and instead here is this cute little boy who wouldn't hurt a fly.
They are couteous but probably thinking you overreacted and are wasting everyone's time.
You both are taken into a room. A nurse gives your child a hospital gown and pants, which he happily changes into. He lies down on the bed. When the nurse asks him if he wants a blanket, he replies "Yes. Please."
When you are alone, he asks "Mommy, can we sleep here tonight?"
This is an adventure to him. A field trip.
You know with complete certainty that future meltdowns will involve him asking you to "call the ambulance".
After a couple hours without a single negative behavior, a doctor comes in. There isn't much he can do, since no one has witnessed anything except a calm, happy child and none of you have any injuries.
He offers a mild sedative to assure your child stays calm during the drive home.
It is long past his bedtime and you know meltdowns are more likely when he's tired, so you allow it.
You are discharged and it is a quiet ride home. He goes right upstairs and puts himself to bed. He sleeps until the next morning.
At 5:30 a.m. you hear "Hey Mommy?"
