1. Is there any book or movie that you consider, "your" story?
It is not so much a story that describes anything (or, at least, very much) about how my life has been, but Harlan Ellison's
Jeffty is Five has always spoken to me in ways that are difficult for me to articulate.
2. What time did you wake up today?
Ohh ... if only I could wake up!
3. Have you ever attempted ventriloquism?
Of course.
I'm terrible at it. My mouth and teeth are way too small.
I was very good at manipulating the dummy, but I could not (cannot) create the talking illusion at all.
So, instead ... I perform ventriloquism through storytelling.
You guys want to know a secret?
When that stand-up comedian tells you about the funny guy he met on the plane ... there wasn't really any funny guy ...
It was the comedian.
4. What is something that you miss now, but didn't think you would?
Honest to kittens ... I never thought I would miss sweating for every penny ...
But there are times when I wake up and think: "I didn't earn this ... someone is going to take this."
Any y'all ever get that?
5. Has your first name ever been misspelled by anyone?
It's
ae, kids.
I know some folks spell it
ea ... but it's
ae.
6. What was the worst weather you have ever been stuck in?
Just above the tree line on Mt. Katahdin up in Baxter State Park (ME). It's July and this thunderstorm comes barreling right down on us. Of course, we see it coming well enough, but there isn't anywhere to go ... so we end up huddling in this little thicket of scrub brush while lightning is playing havoc all around us and we're getting pelted with pretty fair-size hailstones. It only went on for about 20 minutes, but it was as close to dying from weather as I ever hope to get.
I'll tell you ... I've been in heavy seas, and I've been stranded by deep snow ... but I never really believed those madcap, capering gods of mischief were actually out to get me, except for that one time when I had the temerity to climb up high during the sleepy lull of summer.
The world will fool you ...
So it will.
7. What do you order when you sit down in a diner?
Diner?
"Diner" always speaks of breakfast to me ...
I order eggs -- three, over medium (which they always get wrong) -- and wheat toast with strawberry jam. Bacon (of course) and/or sausage (hopefully, and) ... and juice. Cold juice, and lots of it. Does anyone besides me find it odd that all the eggs and sausage you want is about three bucks ... and the glass of juice is ... about three bucks?
Or am I just a cheapskate?
8. When was time you laughed so hard that your belly hurt?
"You can take the redknecht out of the cornfield ... but you cannot take the cornfield out of the redknecht!"
Laugh?
I thought I'd cry.
Oh ... and every time I hear
"No worries."
9. Have you ever cried for no reason but your own thoughts, in public?
Oh yes.
Yes, indeed ... I have.
I don't know much about much ... but I do know that you cage sadness at your peril.
10. When was the last time you said, "yabba dabba do?" A moment ago, I'm guessing.
I'll admit to not remembering the last time I channeled my inner Fred Flintstone ... but sure as hell, I'll remember the next time.