Depression, suicide. How is everyone?

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AnnaMarie

AnnaMarie

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I do not have time to read all of this thread right now, but I will read it all. But, hipmamajen can I copy the first part of your first post to a discussion on another forum? (Not when it gets to what you personally have gone through. ). I have an on-line friend who is mostly the most awesome mom helping her daughter who has been dealing with depression, but for once in awhile, I think your words could help.

I have things to add to this discussion, but really am short on time. Will hopefully get back here today.
 
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blunthead

blunthead

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Dana Jean said:
There are a lot of people who have people in their lives saying, "you don't need medicine, just work through it." Sometimes they can, and sometimes they can't. It's sort of Russian roulette and that attitude of "nothing is wrong with you, toughen up" is ignorance and does a lot of harm. It's callous.
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Chronic or acute depression is the absence of bootstraps with which others can pull themselves up.

I worked for a while as a psych aide. I've seen how real and serious bipolar disorder can be. I've had a good friend for years who has always resisted believing that people complaining of depression or some other illnesses really have a problem which others don't have. His attitude has always been that everyone should be able to handle things - like he (thinks) he does. I think the attitude smacks of defense-mechanism. I wonder if such stubbornness on the subject of emotional/psychological disorders is rooted in fear; one's fear of the possibility of being humbled, embarrassed one day. It's clearly denial.
 
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Blonde Bombshell

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Just a FYI I work all weekend and may not be on much if at all, so if someone needs me I will try to get back to you as soon as I can. Just know I am not ignoring you. Or send GG a message telling him you have left me a PM and I will make a point to go check it.
Love to you all and have a wonderful weekend
Smile at a stranger- you may make a bigger differnce in their day that you will ever know! :haha:
 
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hipmamajen

hipmamajen

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AnnaMarie said:
I do not have time to read all of this thread right now, but I will read it all. But, hipmamajen can I copy the first part of your first post to a discussion on another forum? (Not when it gets to what you personally have gone through. ). I have an on-line friend who is mostly the most awesome mom helping her daughter who has been dealing with depression, but for once in awhile, I think your words could help.

I have things to add to this discussion, but really am short on time. Will hopefully get back here today.
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Feel free!
 
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Lily Sawyer

Lily Sawyer

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Blonde Bombshell said:
AMEN!!!!
Prime example: My ex-husband just found out today that our daughter is on depression medication.(she suffers from SAD and has had a tough time since my sister's death) He got all pissy and told her it's all in your head, there's nothing wrong with you. You're just doing it to get the drugs, and one thing is going to lead to another and you're just going to end up being a drug addict. OH momma bear is HOT!!!! Talk about IGNORANCE!!!
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I know he's your daughter's father and all, but did he graduate from the St. Dad's Academy of Bastards? :facepalm_smiley:
 
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AnnaMarie

AnnaMarie

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Blonde Bombshell said:
Smile at a stranger- you may make a bigger differnce in their day that you will ever know! :haha:
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I am alive today because a stranger smiled at me.

First, you need to understand that I do not suffer depression. I really was attempting a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

I know I was not suffering a clinical depression because I've seen what it looks like. My brother did suffer it. He attempted suicide in his twenties, and to my knowledge, never tried again until he succeeded Christmas Day a little over 10 years ago. But, during those years, he had good times and not so good. He fought cancer, so I guess had mostly beaten that depression demon. Well, until it came back and beat him.
 
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FlakeNoir

FlakeNoir

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AnnaMarie said:
I am alive today because a stranger smiled at me.

First, you need to understand that I do not suffer depression. I really was attempting a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

I know I was not suffering a clinical depression because I've seen what it looks like. My brother did suffer it. He attempted suicide in his twenties, and to my knowledge, never tried again until he succeeded Christmas Day a little over 10 years ago. But, during those years, he had good times and not so good. He fought cancer, so I guess had mostly beaten that depression demon. Well, until it came back and beat him.
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(((AnnaMarie)))
 
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hipmamajen

hipmamajen

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AnnaMarie said:
I am alive today because a stranger smiled at me.

First, you need to understand that I do not suffer depression. I really was attempting a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

I know I was not suffering a clinical depression because I've seen what it looks like. My brother did suffer it. He attempted suicide in his twenties, and to my knowledge, never tried again until he succeeded Christmas Day a little over 10 years ago. But, during those years, he had good times and not so good. He fought cancer, so I guess had mostly beaten that depression demon. Well, until it came back and beat him.
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(((((AnnaMarie)))))
 
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AnnaMarie

AnnaMarie

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Thanks ladies. I really am OK about it though. Of my three brothers, he's the one I was closest to. I understood him, and though everyone expected me to fall apart or be angry....I just wasn't. I suspected immediately it was suicide, and though I was a bit disappointed that he didn't call me or my sister, I was never angry with him. (Actually, I was not OK when they thought he might have had an anaphylactic reaction. He had no known allergies, so that idea totally freaked me out.)

The coroner ruled it an accidental suicide. But, that was after asking questions, like what religion he was and where he was to be buried. Catholics apparently still view suicide as murder (taking a life) and a murderer cannot be buried in a Catholic cemetery. (This was true at that time, may have changed.) So, it was not an accident, but legally it fit within that description. I thought that was nice of him to put on his report. It made it easier for my sister who had to arrange the burial, and it made it easier for the oldest of the boys who just could not accept the truth.
 
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Blonde Bombshell

Blonde Bombshell

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AnnaMarie, sorry for your loss, I kind of understand your feeling.
My sister's death was a huge blow, but at the same time a relief, please let me explain before anyone gets all up on arms over the comment.
She had been sick for a long time, since she was 3 she showed signs of having problems, and after all of the times we bailed her out of jail, picked her up and helped her out, we got fed up at one point, more frustrated I guess is the right word to use.
After all the threats which we took serious, and the attempts ( I spent 3 hours on the phone with her in March just talking to her and hoping she wouldn't do what she said she was getting ready to do(which was to overdose on my Step-Dads BP med and a bottle of Vodka). She was laughing and said she felt better and was going to be ok. That only bought us a few more months, her other attempts were overdosing, cutting her wrists, stabbed herself in the neck trying to hit her jugular vein, lastly she took a 38 to get the job done once and for all.
Every time the phone rang late at night, or if I hadn't seen her for a long period of time I was afraid she had finally succeeded at what she had tried to do over and over. When it happened it hit like a Mack truck to the gut, yet a relief that it was over, the waiting, the struggling to keep her on her meds (which she hated because she didn't feel Normal, she was Bi-Polar and Schizophrenic and waiting for the next up day or low day wasn't happening when she was on her meds so to her she didn't feel normal) all of it was over as well as her suffering.
I miss her still- 13 years later and she didn't want to die, she wanted all the torment and suffering to go away, I don't think a person realizes it's permanent, they just want it all to stop, but not necessarily to stop living. She had made comments after loosing a friend to suicide that she would never ever want to hurt her son or our mother like that when she seen the pain her friends family was going through. Yet she did several years later.
 
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danie

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Blonde Bombshell said:
AnnaMarie, sorry for your loss, I kind of understand your feeling.
My sister's death was a huge blow, but at the same time a relief, please let me explain before anyone gets all up on arms over the comment.
She had been sick for a long time, since she was 3 she showed signs of having problems, and after all of the times we bailed her out of jail, picked her up and helped her out, we got fed up at one point, more frustrated I guess is the right word to use.
After all the threats which we took serious, and the attempts ( I spent 3 hours on the phone with her in March just talking to her and hoping she wouldn't do what she said she was getting ready to do(which was to overdose on my Step-Dads BP med and a bottle of Vodka). She was laughing and said she felt better and was going to be ok. That only bought us a few more months, her other attempts were overdosing, cutting her wrists, stabbed herself in the neck trying to hit her jugular vein, lastly she took a 38 to get the job done once and for all.
Every time the phone rang late at night, or if I hadn't seen her for a long period of time I was afraid she had finally succeeded at what she had tried to do over and over. When it happened it hit like a Mack truck to the gut, yet a relief that it was over, the waiting, the struggling to keep her on her meds (which she hated because she didn't feel Normal, she was Bi-Polar and Schizophrenic and waiting for the next up day or low day wasn't happening when she was on her meds so to her she didn't feel normal) all of it was over as well as her suffering.
I miss her still- 13 years later and she didn't want to die, she wanted all the torment and suffering to go away, I don't think a person realizes it's permanent, they just want it all to stop, but not necessarily to stop living. She had made comments after loosing a friend to suicide that she would never ever want to hurt her son or our mother like that when she seen the pain her friends family was going through. Yet she did several years later.
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I think I understand what you mean, Tracy. Thanks for writing it out so we can better understand how those left behind are feeling...and understand how the person who commits suicide just wants the suffering to go away, not just stop living.
 
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GNTLGNT

GNTLGNT

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danie said:
I think I understand what you mean, Tracy. Thanks for writing it out so we can better understand how those left behind are feeling...and understand how the person who commits suicide just wants the suffering to go away, not just stop living.
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...yes, she has always been quite eloquent about the subject...I have learned much by observing how she has handled her sister's loss and the loss of others dear to us...
 
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Becks19

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AnnaMarie said:
I am alive today because a stranger smiled at me.

First, you need to understand that I do not suffer depression. I really was attempting a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

I know I was not suffering a clinical depression because I've seen what it looks like. My brother did suffer it. He attempted suicide in his twenties, and to my knowledge, never tried again until he succeeded Christmas Day a little over 10 years ago. But, during those years, he had good times and not so good. He fought cancer, so I guess had mostly beaten that depression demon. Well, until it came back and beat him.
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(((AnnaMarie)))
 
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Becks19

Becks19

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Sep 28, 2009
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Blonde Bombshell said:
AnnaMarie, sorry for your loss, I kind of understand your feeling.
My sister's death was a huge blow, but at the same time a relief, please let me explain before anyone gets all up on arms over the comment.
She had been sick for a long time, since she was 3 she showed signs of having problems, and after all of the times we bailed her out of jail, picked her up and helped her out, we got fed up at one point, more frustrated I guess is the right word to use.
After all the threats which we took serious, and the attempts ( I spent 3 hours on the phone with her in March just talking to her and hoping she wouldn't do what she said she was getting ready to do(which was to overdose on my Step-Dads BP med and a bottle of Vodka). She was laughing and said she felt better and was going to be ok. That only bought us a few more months, her other attempts were overdosing, cutting her wrists, stabbed herself in the neck trying to hit her jugular vein, lastly she took a 38 to get the job done once and for all.
Every time the phone rang late at night, or if I hadn't seen her for a long period of time I was afraid she had finally succeeded at what she had tried to do over and over. When it happened it hit like a Mack truck to the gut, yet a relief that it was over, the waiting, the struggling to keep her on her meds (which she hated because she didn't feel Normal, she was Bi-Polar and Schizophrenic and waiting for the next up day or low day wasn't happening when she was on her meds so to her she didn't feel normal) all of it was over as well as her suffering.
I miss her still- 13 years later and she didn't want to die, she wanted all the torment and suffering to go away, I don't think a person realizes it's permanent, they just want it all to stop, but not necessarily to stop living. She had made comments after loosing a friend to suicide that she would never ever want to hurt her son or our mother like that when she seen the pain her friends family was going through. Yet she did several years later.
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(((Tracy))) I am so sorry for your loss.
 
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AnnaMarie

AnnaMarie

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Tracy, sorry for your loss. {{hugs}}

There were a lot of people who felt I should have been angry. All the books say it is one of the stages. But what others don't always understand is, sometimes people start going through those stages before a death. And sometimes a person doesn't need to go through all the steps before reaching acceptance.
 
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EMTP513

EMTP513

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BeverleyMarsh said:
Robin Williams dead: Fox news anchor Shepard Smith apologises for calling actor 'a coward' after apparent suicide - News - People - The Independent

This sort of ignorance is what people with depression have to deal with ...
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I think it's baloney that he apologized because he did it for only one reason and it was the WRONG one. If he'd gotten any response at all for what he DID say he never would have acted all apologetic after it got an unexpected (a surprise for him anyway) response.

When I was 100% Republican, I never watched Fox News, never listened to Rush Limbaugh and never felt evangelical about Christianity, which explains why I'm tired of Stephen King blaming the whole lot of us for being bad Christians without noting that he knows we're not all like that, but that's another story.
 
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