Yes, I keep suggesting she join up on here.... so far no good!
Were you "popular"
- Thread starter Riot87
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Nice thread.
I have no idea if I was popular. I wasn't picked on. I did my thing - study, classes, sports and reading and went about my business. Thinking about it I guess I was sorta weird. I was in Honor Society and Student Council. I played b-ball, volley ball, powder puff football and ran track. I read like a maniac.
I have a handful of friends now and we are tight. Tight. If I ever woke up with a dead hooker...
I like my own company so I'm cool.
Peace.
I have no idea if I was popular. I wasn't picked on. I did my thing - study, classes, sports and reading and went about my business. Thinking about it I guess I was sorta weird. I was in Honor Society and Student Council. I played b-ball, volley ball, powder puff football and ran track. I read like a maniac.
I have a handful of friends now and we are tight. Tight. If I ever woke up with a dead hooker...
I like my own company so I'm cool.
Peace.
I was ostracized for most of my youth until around high school. The main reason was because I was pretty far ahead of the rest of the kids academically and was always doing gifted classes and work the other kids didn't. I went to a very small tribally funded school until 7th grade except for 1 year (4th grade). They participated heavily in alternative learning experiments for the gifted students. As to the other gifted kids, I was ahead of them too. I spent a lot of time getting 1 on 1 instruction or the opposite and was completely unsupervised. Very rarely was I a general participant in the classroom after the first month or so of 1st grade. I went to lunch and P.E. and recess with the rest of the kids and there learned the other thing I was naturally good at: fighting.
I was picked on A LOT. So I eventually stopped being confused as to why the kids hated me and started fighting back. Turns out, I was decent at that, so before too long I didn't get picked on too much, just mostly ignored. I was also a pretty good athlete, especially basketball and track, so I was liked somewhat for the fact I could help my team win. I think being set apart and picked on a lot gave me the yearning to be a team player and at the same time, the ability to operate mostly as a loner.
I mostly found solace in books and learning and movies. I stopped counting how many books I had read by the time I was 14 or so, but it was already well over a thousand. I read more than that in my HS years. Ironically, I've slowed tremendously on reading as an adult and sometimes take breaks of 6 months or so between books. But due to that I learned most of the stuff that was to come in high school. Due to that plus the gifted classes in middle school and summer school, I was done with high school after 3 semesters. I still went through my senior year, but wasn't required to. I mostly went to play sports and be in the band. After not really getting to just be a kid it was nice to just be a teenager and do normal kid stuff. I did when I was younger somewhat. I played little league baseball and soccer, but I also was usually asked to go to some workshop or experimental condensed class during the summers.
In high school I had friends and felt like one of the crowd for the most part. But, everyone noticed I was only there half a day most times and wasn't in the standard classes. The same kids had also noticed that in middle school, I was driven to the high school every afternoon to do my english and math classes with the high school classes. Some of them stayed clear of me, talked about me a lot, spent lots of time trying to prove me wrong or embarrass me. All things I had already become accustomed to.
Now I prefer the role of normal nobody that isn't treated differently. I also learned to quit always having the answers, even if I do. People don't like you when you're like that. But I've also gotten around in life by the gift I was given to learn efficiently. I try very hard to know what I am talking about before I speak and if I am proven wrong with some factual evidence, I admit it immediately. As to the rest of life, I am a complete moron.
I was picked on A LOT. So I eventually stopped being confused as to why the kids hated me and started fighting back. Turns out, I was decent at that, so before too long I didn't get picked on too much, just mostly ignored. I was also a pretty good athlete, especially basketball and track, so I was liked somewhat for the fact I could help my team win. I think being set apart and picked on a lot gave me the yearning to be a team player and at the same time, the ability to operate mostly as a loner.
I mostly found solace in books and learning and movies. I stopped counting how many books I had read by the time I was 14 or so, but it was already well over a thousand. I read more than that in my HS years. Ironically, I've slowed tremendously on reading as an adult and sometimes take breaks of 6 months or so between books. But due to that I learned most of the stuff that was to come in high school. Due to that plus the gifted classes in middle school and summer school, I was done with high school after 3 semesters. I still went through my senior year, but wasn't required to. I mostly went to play sports and be in the band. After not really getting to just be a kid it was nice to just be a teenager and do normal kid stuff. I did when I was younger somewhat. I played little league baseball and soccer, but I also was usually asked to go to some workshop or experimental condensed class during the summers.
In high school I had friends and felt like one of the crowd for the most part. But, everyone noticed I was only there half a day most times and wasn't in the standard classes. The same kids had also noticed that in middle school, I was driven to the high school every afternoon to do my english and math classes with the high school classes. Some of them stayed clear of me, talked about me a lot, spent lots of time trying to prove me wrong or embarrass me. All things I had already become accustomed to.
Now I prefer the role of normal nobody that isn't treated differently. I also learned to quit always having the answers, even if I do. People don't like you when you're like that. But I've also gotten around in life by the gift I was given to learn efficiently. I try very hard to know what I am talking about before I speak and if I am proven wrong with some factual evidence, I admit it immediately. As to the rest of life, I am a complete moron.
I was the kid in the library with my nose always buried in a book. I always wanted to fit in but couldn't find my niche in school. That happened when I got into law enforcement. I'm still not exactly the life of the party, but I feel comfortable talking and cutting up around those guys.
I was one of those poor misguided deprived slightly depraved kids who mistook attention for popularity and it wasn't until years later I realized that it wasn't popularity, but another version of events. Heh! I can laugh about it now...since I was clueless at the time...all these guys who had this uncanny ability--at the time--the make you believe that at any moment they were going to pull a rabbit out of their hat. I was a great believer. Still am, to an extent..clueless. Like, I think I probably should take the clue and go elsewhere...last year I could not log onto my membership here, sent emails, to no avail...we're talking something like from June until the board had a new incarnation. The Mod flicked a switch...or something...and now, I've been moderated since mid-March. A member in the Friday thread said she'd feel banned if she was in a similar situation. One mod said--to my less than veiled complaints--that such and such could happen. But I figure, why...I was put on moderated status, so be it...if I need to be moderated and I believe I do...all is well and all manner of things are well. We were moderated for the longest time and being able to post almost at will is something new. I dislike change. We all have a comfort zone...but yeah...you get to wondering.
I'm talking junior/senior years, the above. The other thing is that I have crooked teeth. And...I did not know I have crooked teeth...not 'til Kearney, an ET on board the Hepburn asked me how my teeth got so crooked. Heh! Clueless, like I said. So...I check em out in the mirror. It's not like they suddenly appeared in my mouth, out-of-whack. They were that way for a time. So I'm a Civil War vet when I smile. A stoic. Those guys didn't smile much, either, not one of those full-tooth I'm going to eat you alive! smiles. Most people have great smiles. My wife...she never had a cavity and she has a gorgeous smile. Many people here. Great smiles. A smile can work wonders.
So...at times I thought I was popular, but it was simply the guys, cutting up...on me. But I was clueless, so all was well. Shouldn't I be slapped now?
I'm talking junior/senior years, the above. The other thing is that I have crooked teeth. And...I did not know I have crooked teeth...not 'til Kearney, an ET on board the Hepburn asked me how my teeth got so crooked. Heh! Clueless, like I said. So...I check em out in the mirror. It's not like they suddenly appeared in my mouth, out-of-whack. They were that way for a time. So I'm a Civil War vet when I smile. A stoic. Those guys didn't smile much, either, not one of those full-tooth I'm going to eat you alive! smiles. Most people have great smiles. My wife...she never had a cavity and she has a gorgeous smile. Many people here. Great smiles. A smile can work wonders.
So...at times I thought I was popular, but it was simply the guys, cutting up...on me. But I was clueless, so all was well. Shouldn't I be slapped now?
I was ostracized for most of my youth until around high school. The main reason was because I was pretty far ahead of the rest of the kids academically and was always doing gifted classes and work the other kids didn't. I went to a very small tribally funded school until 7th grade except for 1 year (4th grade). They participated heavily in alternative learning experiments for the gifted students. As to the other gifted kids, I was ahead of them too. I spent a lot of time getting 1 on 1 instruction or the opposite and was completely unsupervised. Very rarely was I a general participant in the classroom after the first month or so of 1st grade. I went to lunch and P.E. and recess with the rest of the kids and there learned the other thing I was naturally good at: fighting.
I was picked on A LOT. So I eventually stopped being confused as to why the kids hated me and started fighting back. Turns out, I was decent at that, so before too long I didn't get picked on too much, just mostly ignored. I was also a pretty good athlete, especially basketball and track, so I was liked somewhat for the fact I could help my team win. I think being set apart and picked on a lot gave me the yearning to be a team player and at the same time, the ability to operate mostly as a loner.
I mostly found solace in books and learning and movies. I stopped counting how many books I had read by the time I was 14 or so, but it was already well over a thousand. I read more than that in my HS years. Ironically, I've slowed tremendously on reading as an adult and sometimes take breaks of 6 months or so between books. But due to that I learned most of the stuff that was to come in high school. Due to that plus the gifted classes in middle school and summer school, I was done with high school after 3 semesters. I still went through my senior year, but wasn't required to. I mostly went to play sports and be in the band. After not really getting to just be a kid it was nice to just be a teenager and do normal kid stuff. I did when I was younger somewhat. I played little league baseball and soccer, but I also was usually asked to go to some workshop or experimental condensed class during the summers.
In high school I had friends and felt like one of the crowd for the most part. But, everyone noticed I was only there half a day most times and wasn't in the standard classes. The same kids had also noticed that in middle school, I was driven to the high school every afternoon to do my english and math classes with the high school classes. Some of them stayed clear of me, talked about me a lot, spent lots of time trying to prove me wrong or embarrass me. All things I had already become accustomed to.
Now I prefer the role of normal nobody that isn't treated differently. I also learned to quit always having the answers, even if I do. People don't like you when you're like that. But I've also gotten around in life by the gift I was given to learn efficiently. I try very hard to know what I am talking about before I speak and if I am proven wrong with some factual evidence, I admit it immediately. As to the rest of life, I am a complete moron.
I am sorry to hear you got picked on friend. If it was up to me that wouldnt happen to anyone.
I sure do wish i was smart like that though lol.
hossenpepper: I've explained before about how I was bullied in school and how I ultimately lost it, fought back and earned some (grudging) respect, but maybe not the reasons for it. I was big for my age and quiet by nature - a natural target both ways. I was also one of the smarter kids. That didn't help. I remember going to teachers at one point and begging them not to give me merit marks for good work.
By chance I ran into one of my former tormentors in the only bookshop in town a month or two back. We got to chatting and I told him I had no idea he read. Turns out he always did, but pretended otherwise in case he got picked on. After ten minutes or so we shook hands and he said 'I can't believe I used to pick on you'. I smiled back and said 'I can't believe I ever let you'.
I'm glad smart's become somewhat cooler in recent times. If being smart was the focus rather than appearing to be cool/not giving a sh[ee]t, school would have been much more tolerable.
By chance I ran into one of my former tormentors in the only bookshop in town a month or two back. We got to chatting and I told him I had no idea he read. Turns out he always did, but pretended otherwise in case he got picked on. After ten minutes or so we shook hands and he said 'I can't believe I used to pick on you'. I smiled back and said 'I can't believe I ever let you'.
I'm glad smart's become somewhat cooler in recent times. If being smart was the focus rather than appearing to be cool/not giving a sh[ee]t, school would have been much more tolerable.
Hi.
I just want to say something here.
My son and some of my other kids (nieces and nephews) are gifted/talented and they also had difficulties in the public school system. They couldn't even answer with a "Ma'am, Sir, Thank you, Please, You're welcome, etc" without derision from the other kids. Bummer.
We were able to find a charter school that specialized in academics. The entire school staff encouraged excellence and doing the best each student was able. They found the perfect atmosphere where they fit in. They might have been geeks and nerds but it was cool to be geeks and nerds. They thrived. And continue to do so.
For all those students who were bullied because they were wonderful students...you have my sympathies.
I don't condone violence but you did what you had to do and came out being nice, intelligent human beings. Kudos and hugs to you all.
Peace.
I just want to say something here.
My son and some of my other kids (nieces and nephews) are gifted/talented and they also had difficulties in the public school system. They couldn't even answer with a "Ma'am, Sir, Thank you, Please, You're welcome, etc" without derision from the other kids. Bummer.
We were able to find a charter school that specialized in academics. The entire school staff encouraged excellence and doing the best each student was able. They found the perfect atmosphere where they fit in. They might have been geeks and nerds but it was cool to be geeks and nerds. They thrived. And continue to do so.
For all those students who were bullied because they were wonderful students...you have my sympathies.
I don't condone violence but you did what you had to do and came out being nice, intelligent human beings. Kudos and hugs to you all.
Peace.
Being shy is like being on a precipice high above water. The longer you take to jump the harder it is to. So jump immediately. I'm not sure when I learned that or if I've just always been around people interesting enough to jump for. I've enjoyed every stage of life and I feel blessed to have been friends with the best and liked the rest but I've never been popular exactly. Always in the top 10%, even won some awards, but never gifted. Always had a girlfriend though I'm not good looking. Played football, loved animals, art, horror, fishing, reading, and seeking mischief with my buds. Lots of great stories we share when we get together. Since the talk has turned to how we learned to fight, I'll tell you about Sammy.
Something was wrong with Sammy. Even as kids we knew that. He was slow and goofy and laughed stupid. Most of us avoided him in Mrs. Bealers first grade class. I did too. He was embarassing. Then one day he got his finger smashed in the heavy wood door while the teacher was out. He was bawling and it was busted bad. The nail split to the cuticle. Everyone backed away but I ran and got a wet paper towel to wrap it in. When the teacher got back it was just me comforting him. I didn't think anything of it but he did. He glomed onto me then and I couldn't shake him. I tried but he couldn't take a hint. On the playground he was my shadow. I tried to ignore him and play with the other kids more like me but he had nobody.
We took recess with the second grade and in that there was a bully named Robert whose eyes shone vicious . With glee he would choose a new kid to pick on every day, always younger, always smaller. We lived in terror of our day for it. One day it was Sammy by the swings. Sammy didn't hit back, just took it. His cheeks red from being slapped he cried his hickup short of breath way and drooled while Robert laughed. I just watched, glad it wasn't me.
That wasn't until the next day. I was cornered in the same spot trying to cover while I got pummeled too scared to hit back. Then he quit. Sammy had come to defend me. I couldn't believe it. He wasn't doing any better than the day before but he had come to do something I had been too chicken to do. Sammy was telling him he wasn't a nice person and other lame things while getting slapped and crying and drooling snot like nobody I've seen since but he was taking my part. Something turned in me then. I put myself between them. He slapped me again. Hard. You always forget how that can hurt till it happens again. Then he leaned back laughing and rocking on his heels with his hands on his hips. When he rocked forward again I drove my fist as hard as I could into his mouth. He bled. A lot. It attracted the teachers and I got a week without recess. Funny how they could miss what he did every day and catch that.
He said he was going to get me past his fingers and wailing before they took him inside. I had a week alone to think about that. Sure enough he tried when I got out but either his heart wasn't in it or I had lost some of my fear from waiting a whole week for the inevitable and it wasn't much of a fight. I might have even won. I don't recall exactly. I'll never forget Sammy though. I learned a lot from him. He shamed me with his devotion and courage. He was still what they call special now and I never saw him after that first year. I don't know if they put him somewhere more suitable or his folks moved off. I hung out with him the rest of that year though. I fought a fair amount over the years but something took solid in me over Sammy and I never felt as scared again.
I've known a lot of great people. I'm blessed.
Something was wrong with Sammy. Even as kids we knew that. He was slow and goofy and laughed stupid. Most of us avoided him in Mrs. Bealers first grade class. I did too. He was embarassing. Then one day he got his finger smashed in the heavy wood door while the teacher was out. He was bawling and it was busted bad. The nail split to the cuticle. Everyone backed away but I ran and got a wet paper towel to wrap it in. When the teacher got back it was just me comforting him. I didn't think anything of it but he did. He glomed onto me then and I couldn't shake him. I tried but he couldn't take a hint. On the playground he was my shadow. I tried to ignore him and play with the other kids more like me but he had nobody.
We took recess with the second grade and in that there was a bully named Robert whose eyes shone vicious . With glee he would choose a new kid to pick on every day, always younger, always smaller. We lived in terror of our day for it. One day it was Sammy by the swings. Sammy didn't hit back, just took it. His cheeks red from being slapped he cried his hickup short of breath way and drooled while Robert laughed. I just watched, glad it wasn't me.
That wasn't until the next day. I was cornered in the same spot trying to cover while I got pummeled too scared to hit back. Then he quit. Sammy had come to defend me. I couldn't believe it. He wasn't doing any better than the day before but he had come to do something I had been too chicken to do. Sammy was telling him he wasn't a nice person and other lame things while getting slapped and crying and drooling snot like nobody I've seen since but he was taking my part. Something turned in me then. I put myself between them. He slapped me again. Hard. You always forget how that can hurt till it happens again. Then he leaned back laughing and rocking on his heels with his hands on his hips. When he rocked forward again I drove my fist as hard as I could into his mouth. He bled. A lot. It attracted the teachers and I got a week without recess. Funny how they could miss what he did every day and catch that.
He said he was going to get me past his fingers and wailing before they took him inside. I had a week alone to think about that. Sure enough he tried when I got out but either his heart wasn't in it or I had lost some of my fear from waiting a whole week for the inevitable and it wasn't much of a fight. I might have even won. I don't recall exactly. I'll never forget Sammy though. I learned a lot from him. He shamed me with his devotion and courage. He was still what they call special now and I never saw him after that first year. I don't know if they put him somewhere more suitable or his folks moved off. I hung out with him the rest of that year though. I fought a fair amount over the years but something took solid in me over Sammy and I never felt as scared again.
I've known a lot of great people. I'm blessed.
There was this other kind of popularity I attracted...that goes back to the sins of the fathers. One kid one only kid. I was that kid. Talk about a fecking nightmare. All of my childhood and then some. I got out of Dodge when I could...service...heh! Frying pan, fire. Wusy Wally Wonder. That was my nick...from the bad attention...not like the good attention I mentioned earlier. I wish I knew what they were thinking...I can only surmise, based on the...venom. One of those old family feud types things...one you look back on and begin to connect the dots...raise all manner of questions. I'd ask them if I could. At times, I wondered if the others they enlisted...and they did enlist, believe me you...if they ever wondered where all the venom came from. At times I thought I saw a hesitation on the part of those gathered to stand by them. Even now forty+ years later those old feelings of terror rise above the surface when I see one of their pics on Facebook...all that paranoia, those mental images begin to play on stage and I sit in wonder. I'd ask them if I could. But...I won't. I understand some of it now...or, I think I do. Like I said, you begin to connect the dots, couple that with knowing what you've known for years, things a seven-year-old should have no business knowing. And then too...a terrible irony is also potential...maybe that part is only parcel of something else...special delivery, fiction, wrong address. Steam and vapor. What does anyone know anymore? Faith and imagination fill in for what the camera doesn't show. I'll never understand the desire by some to make a living hell for another simply because of the other's presence. Maybe understand is the wrong word, maybe the word is abide.
...I know it's odd to "reply" to your own post...but I just realized that I left out another "bestie" and that's my oldest boy Seth....
Ahh, it made me a stronger person with a huge capacity for compassion and empathy for the suffering of others. I count is as the life I lead and how could I have lead any other? It took me until I had kids to realize that and embrace who I was. Part of my experience was spending more time around adults than kids my age. They told me over and over that I was supposed to be some shining thing when I grew up. I just wanted to live my life and be happy. I never really needed wealth or approval to do that.
I watch the Big Bang Theory and laugh quite a lot at the Sheldon character because I can relate to him quite well. He also shows that one can be a "genius" at some things and a complete moron at others. I remind myself a lot that "smart" is relative to the moment at hand and in that we find a bit of genius in everyone.
Well, you're odd, so par for the course...
I had a similar experience in school. I dreaded being exalted for anything. I have the distinction as far as I know of being the only student that never missed a single question on a standardized test that used be given in a large amount of the US, the SRA. It was a precursor to the ACT test we take here still. After the first 2 years when it happened, the teacher did not announce me with the kids that got 90th percentile or higher. The year before a group of kids ganged up on me and picked on me for a bit afterwards. You have to also understand that this was Oklahoma in the 1970's and I had long hair and looked a bit ethnic. So I was already fodder for the stupid mill. I don't blame kids for being kids. I saw it that way at the time too. Such is life. Now I enjoy a good fart joke like everyone else and prefer to be counted as "stupid" by others around me. Everyone is always a genius to at least one person: themselves. And when you are a genius to yourself, no one else could possibly be, right?
I had friends in HS, but I wasn't popular. I was the fat kid that read a lot. People would always ask "What book do you have today?" I had a different book every day. Most of them being large Stephen King books. People made fun of me cause of my weight (I have depression and have a hard time controlling my weight). But now that I am married and out of HS. I have learned that what those people said, didn't matter. I now have friends who love me for me and don't care about my disorders or my weight.
After yet another out of context insult to the team that works their a$$es off to run this board and won't let you post some of the same racist, sexist and directly and personally insulting crap that you have in the past under whatever multitude of screen names, yeah, maybe you should be slapped.
But I digress and won't cry for you, Argentina.
Well, I for one, love smart, curvy girls, so you got a fan base out here my lady!
This thread has a subtitle: Defense Against Bullies 101.
I was tossed down a flight of stairs at school by a bully when I was in fifth grade. I was an easy mark - a head shorter and about 30 lbs. less in weight - but she never did it again, because I'm pretty sure a teacher saw her do it.
A lot of these anecdotes explain the reason why I love the Duddits character in Dreamcatcher and why I cried when, well, you know.
I was tossed down a flight of stairs at school by a bully when I was in fifth grade. I was an easy mark - a head shorter and about 30 lbs. less in weight - but she never did it again, because I'm pretty sure a teacher saw her do it.
A lot of these anecdotes explain the reason why I love the Duddits character in Dreamcatcher and why I cried when, well, you know.
