I don't really get angry - I get frustrated and hurt, and our adult daughter (living away at college) has hurt my feelings. I am horribly allergic to cats, and she has one. She's insisting the only way she can come home for Christmas is if she can bring the cat. We have two big dogs who would go nuts if a cat was in the house, and then there's me with my allergy: my eyes itch and swell, I get hives and sneeze like crazy. I can't live with a cat. She's said some really mean and hurtful things to me over this - she's vilified me. It's now become a pissing contest. If we let her bring the cat, it'll be chaos and havoc and miserable. If we don't - she either won't come or she'll stay somewhere else (so why bother even coming home?) I've offered to pay to have the cat boarded nearby. I've offered a couple of friends who said the cat could stay at their house. Nothing is working for her: her last text to me she told me I'm the worst mother and I've ruined her Christmas. She's 22. When we were 22 - we had her, a mortgage, car payments, - we sacrificed everything for her when we were 22. I'm the worst, really? Now we're both hurt and angry.
Good Evening.
I logged in specifically to reply to your post.
*taking a huge breath*
I have a son. A wonderful, intelligent, thoughtful and compassionate son. He is the goody-rooniest child in the world. And I would kill and die for him. Without hesitation or a second thought.
However, he has tried my patience and broken my heart a few times.
Like you, I reached out to the SKMB family (and sent out several PM's to SKMB members for help and advice) and I received support, comfort and prayers, well-wishes and vibes.
I finally...kicking and fighting...had to understand and accept that he was damned and determined to do what HE thought was best.
I cried. I cried a lot. I just could not understand why he would chose to do or say the things he said. And I cried. I also prayed like a maniac. ( If prayer is an option for you I strongly suggest it.)
My son is now doing well. Not perfect. Not exactly what I would wish but ...doing well.
I had to put on my big girl panties on and gut it out. He went to live with my brother, his uncle and Godfather, and his family for two months. My son was with family who loved him cared for, advised and guided him.
I was left at home by myself. It was hell.
After two months, my son soon realized Tio, Tia, cousins etc. was not HOME. Not Momma home. He had to learn the hard way.
There's no place like home.
We are doing very well now. (Some glitches now and then but no big blow ups. Thank God.)
Ma'm, with all due respect. Sometimes we, as parents, have to let our child(ren) learn difficult, hard and painful lessons.
From one Momma to another...I send you prayers, well wishes, good vibes and STRENGTH. Keep your stand however painful it may be. It is for the good of your child.
Godspeed.
You Sig.
Peace.