My Own Annie Wilkes Experience......

[AchtungBaby]

A guy added me on Facebook. 20 or 21 years old. I thought he looked familiar and he messaged me and started talking. I knew him because he works at the local CFA and went to a church I visited a few times with friends. We started texting and he would ask me over and over when we were gonna hang out. I always had stuff going on. Every day he'd ask like 6 times. He was like "you're so cute! Let's hang" etc. I got bad vibes from him. Super pushy. He texted me at 5:30 this evening and said "I'm here at your work in the parking lot." And I said "what? Why? How did you even know where I work?" And he said "I wanna see you." So I said "Leave. Right now. I don't wanna see you." And I went out to the parking lot and he was there in his car. Tried getting in my car and he grabbed me and was like "let's go to the park!!! " and I said "let go of me," and he pulled me into his car. (I have meds I'm supposed to take at 6 to help me with feeling so exhausted, but they were in my car and I had no way of getting them). I tried texting my mom but he grabbed my phone. We went to the park and some of his friends were there and I tried making the best of it. I didn't know what would happen if I didn't. So.... I was there for like an hour and they were doing a bible study, of all things. I eventually said if he ever wants to meet me again he was to take me to my car right then. He did, and now here I am at home. This is 100% true. Nothing made up. I can barely believe it myself........ But it happened.

He told me he just wanted to meet me because he liked what I posted on FB, and he'd been reading my blog and also followed my Instagram. He said he was a "fan" of me and was so desperate to meet me.

Let this be a word of warning-- be wary of what you post on social media. Always. Be wary of who follows you.

Sorry if this isn't very coherent or well-written, just very shaken up.

 

[swiftdog2.0]

A guy added me on Facebook. 20 or 21 years old. I thought he looked familiar and he messaged me and started talking. I knew him because he works at the local CFA and went to a church I visited a few times with friends. We started texting and he would ask me over and over when we were gonna hang out. I always had stuff going on. Every day he'd ask like 6 times. He was like "you're so cute! Let's hang" etc. I got bad vibes from him. Super pushy. He texted me at 5:30 this evening and said "I'm here at your work in the parking lot." And I said "what? Why? How did you even know where I work?" And he said "I wanna see you." So I said "Leave. Right now. I don't wanna see you." And I went out to the parking lot and he was there in his car. Tried getting in my car and he grabbed me and was like "let's go to the park!!! " and I said "let go of me," and he pulled me into his car. (I have meds I'm supposed to take at 6 to help me with feeling so exhausted, but they were in my car and I had no way of getting them). I tried texting my mom but he grabbed my phone. We went to the park and some of his friends were there and I tried making the best of it. I didn't know what would happen if I didn't. So.... I was there for like an hour and they were doing a bible study, of all things. I eventually said if he ever wants to meet me again he was to take me to my car right then. He did, and now here I am at home. This is 100% true. Nothing made up. I can barely believe it myself........ But it happened.

He told me he just wanted to meet me because he liked what I posted on FB, and he'd been reading my blog and also followed my Instagram. He said he was a "fan" of me and was so desperate to meet me.

Let this be a word of warning-- be wary of what you post on social media. Always. Be wary of who follows you.

Sorry if this isn't very coherent or well-written, just very shaken up.

If your post is true then my advice to you is to notify your local authorities and get a restraining order.

 

[AchtungBaby]

If your post is true then my advice to you is to notify your local authorities and get a restraining order.

Yep-- one step ahead of you there

 

[swiftdog2.0]

Yep-- one step ahead of you there

Glad to hear it.

 

[skimom2]

It's horrifying, and it's a violation. I had something similar happen years ago--a guy I barely knew in high school (he was a year older) started hanging around my work. He'd stop and talk to me when I was on lunch, leaving, etc. I didn't realize it was purposeful, because I'm a dork. Finally, I ran into him at a party (he was a friend of a friend), very drunk (him, not me), and telling me he'd always liked me in school, but he didn't think I'd like him because he was a stoner and I was a smart kid...yadda, yadda. I let him ramble on, thinking that because I was taller than him by about 4 inches and he was absolutely smashed, that he was no danger. So not true. I learned my lesson: guys are stronger, even when they are shorter. I was EXTREMELY lucky that a guy I'd just met that night and joked around with because he looked just like my younger brother but dark haired instead of blonde (dumb thing to bond over, but there you go) walked in and pulled my stalker off of me. He could have just as easily casually looked into the room and moved on, because the two guys were friends.

Post script: I ran into Stalker Guy months later in my pub, with my now husband (one of our first dates), and SG had the nerve to grab my arm and ask when we could get together again. He had absolutely no concept that what he did was wrong. I was so shocked that I ended up throwing up right afterward, changing my number and job, and telling my family to under no circumstances give my addy, phone #, anything to ANYONE.

I should have called the cops, and I definitely should have told someone, but I didn't. Take care of yourself, Cody, and always take proper precautions. Consider making a police report, no matter how silly it feels, because if he shows up again you have grounds for tougher treatment (at least the police will know there is a history if you end up needing a protective order). This is no joke, and you might feel awful and scared for a while. TELL SOMEONE THAT IS NEAR YOU. PLEASE.

 

[FlakeNoir]

A guy added me on Facebook. 20 or 21 years old. I thought he looked familiar and he messaged me and started talking. I knew him because he works at the local CFA and went to a church I visited a few times with friends. We started texting and he would ask me over and over when we were gonna hang out. I always had stuff going on. Every day he'd ask like 6 times. He was like "you're so cute! Let's hang" etc. I got bad vibes from him. Super pushy. He texted me at 5:30 this evening and said "I'm here at your work in the parking lot." And I said "what? Why? How did you even know where I work?" And he said "I wanna see you." So I said "Leave. Right now. I don't wanna see you." And I went out to the parking lot and he was there in his car. Tried getting in my car and he grabbed me and was like "let's go to the park!!! " and I said "let go of me," and he pulled me into his car. (I have meds I'm supposed to take at 6 to help me with feeling so exhausted, but they were in my car and I had no way of getting them). I tried texting my mom but he grabbed my phone. We went to the park and some of his friends were there and I tried making the best of it. I didn't know what would happen if I didn't. So.... I was there for like an hour and they were doing a bible study, of all things. I eventually said if he ever wants to meet me again he was to take me to my car right then. He did, and now here I am at home. This is 100% true. Nothing made up. I can barely believe it myself........ But it happened.

He told me he just wanted to meet me because he liked what I posted on FB, and he'd been reading my blog and also followed my Instagram. He said he was a "fan" of me and was so desperate to meet me.

Let this be a word of warning-- be wary of what you post on social media. Always. Be wary of who follows you.

Sorry if this isn't very coherent or well-written, just very shaken up.

OMGawd... Cody, you have to look out for yourself, that is terrifying! Can you change your FB settings so as to not have anything like this happen again. And your phone number...
And, do you have big brothers? What a freaking a$$hole this guy is...!

I'm glad you've gone to the authorities... buddy, you must have been terrified! (((Cody)))

 

[AchtungBaby]

Sheesh, skimom!

Oh trust me, I've already alerted the local authorities. I don't want this happening again. I have too much going on right now to deal with a crazy.

 

[AchtungBaby]

OMGawd... Cody, you have to look out for yourself, that is terrifying! Can you change your FB settings so as to not have anything like this happen again. And your phone number...
And, do you have big brothers? What a freaking a$$hole this guy is...!

I'm glad you've gone to the authorities... buddy, you must have been terrified! (((Cody)))

My FB has always been set to private. Only added him because we had 50+ mutual friends and he looked SO familiar. I've deleted and blocked him now, though.

Oh, I was. I was also frustrated at myself because I used to could have fought back. I've lost a little weight and I'm just weak more now. I don't know how him taking me happened, but it just...did. I couldn't help but think how funny it all was-- in broad daylight, in a college parking lot. Unfortunately there wasn't anyone around because it was the end of the day.

 

[swiftdog2.0]

Things like this is why your friendly neighborhood SwiftDog is licensed to carry a firearm.

You may want to look into getting mace or a taser. Or take a self-defense course.

 

[Dana Jean]

Never

A guy added me on Facebook. 20 or 21 years old. I thought he looked familiar and he messaged me and started talking. I knew him because he works at the local CFA and went to a church I visited a few times with friends. We started texting and he would ask me over and over when we were gonna hang out. I always had stuff going on. Every day he'd ask like 6 times. He was like "you're so cute! Let's hang" etc. I got bad vibes from him. Super pushy. He texted me at 5:30 this evening and said "I'm here at your work in the parking lot." And I said "what? Why? How did you even know where I work?" And he said "I wanna see you." So I said "Leave. Right now. I don't wanna see you." And I went out to the parking lot and he was there in his car. Tried getting in my car and he grabbed me and was like "let's go to the park!!! " and I said "let go of me," and he pulled me into his car. (I have meds I'm supposed to take at 6 to help me with feeling so exhausted, but they were in my car and I had no way of getting them). I tried texting my mom but he grabbed my phone. We went to the park and some of his friends were there and I tried making the best of it. I didn't know what would happen if I didn't. So.... I was there for like an hour and they were doing a bible study, of all things. I eventually said if he ever wants to meet me again he was to take me to my car right then. He did, and now here I am at home. This is 100% true. Nothing made up. I can barely believe it myself........ But it happened.

He told me he just wanted to meet me because he liked what I posted on FB, and he'd been reading my blog and also followed my Instagram. He said he was a "fan" of me and was so desperate to meet me.

Let this be a word of warning-- be wary of what you post on social media. Always. Be wary of who follows you.

Sorry if this isn't very coherent or well-written, just very shaken up.

Never ever ever let someone take you to a secondary location. If something bad is going to happen, let it happen in a public place where your chances of being found and taken care of are greater. If you get taken to a secondary location, it could be someplace isolated and you could have been hurt, tortured even. A secondary location gives them more time to escalate their behavior without anyone knowing where the hell you are. If this happens again, go limp, lay on the ground, throw a fit, scream like you are insane. Act like you passed out. He isn't going to lug your body into a vehicle. You should report him to the police. You should let your place of employment know, if not for yourself, think of the people you work with that he could hurt to get to you.

Don't ever go with him to a secondary location.

 

[danie]

Cody, this is so scary. I'm just glad you are okay. Please take everyone's advice and stay safe.
Now I'm worried this guy is going to try something else. Please be careful and aware of everyone around you.
Don't go out to your car by yourself for a while.

 

[Dana Jean]

Take different routes home. Be hyper vigilant about your surroundings and watch who is following you. Even way the hell back there. They don't have to be on your ass to follow you. So it's up to you to stay aware of your surroundings.

Don't answer your door. Just because you are home does NOT mean you HAVE to answer your door. Even if someone is looking straight in your face while they knock, you don't owe them anything. You do NOT have to answer that door.

ANd please draw curtains and blinds. Don't give him easy access to watch you.

 

[Dana Jean]

Always check under your car as you approach. Watch the vehicles parked NEXT to your car. Any big vans or trucks that a door could fly open and scoop you in. Go to the opposite side of the car from the big vehicle and get in that way.

Check your back seat before getting in. If you forget and god forbid he is in your back seat telling you to drive somewhere. Fine, start driving and then crash your car into a light pole, a store front, a stop sign, preferably in a populated area before you get out into quieter areas. act like you passed out behind the wheel.


cody, I don't mean to scare you, I am just giving you scenarios to think about and have a plan of attack just in case. And, don't EVER be embarrassed to do any of the above. It could save your life. A little embarrassment is worth it.

 

[Dana Jean]

It's horrifying, and it's a violation. I had something similar happen years ago--a guy I barely knew in high school (he was a year older) started hanging around my work. He'd stop and talk to me when I was on lunch, leaving, etc. I didn't realize it was purposeful, because I'm a dork. Finally, I ran into him at a party (he was a friend of a friend), very drunk (him, not me), and telling me he'd always liked me in school, but he didn't think I'd like him because he was a stoner and I was a smart kid...yadda, yadda. I let him ramble on, thinking that because I was taller than him by about 4 inches and he was absolutely smashed, that he was no danger. So not true. I learned my lesson: guys are stronger, even when they are shorter. I was EXTREMELY lucky that a guy I'd just met that night and joked around with because he looked just like my younger brother but dark haired instead of blonde (dumb thing to bond over, but there you go) walked in and pulled my stalker off of me. He could have just as easily casually looked into the room and moved on, because the two guys were friends.

Post script: I ran into Stalker Guy months later in my pub, with my now husband (one of our first dates), and SG had the nerve to grab my arm and ask when we could get together again. He had absolutely no concept that what he did was wrong. I was so shocked that I ended up throwing up right afterward, changing my number and job, and telling my family to under no circumstances give my addy, phone #, anything to ANYONE.

I should have called the cops, and I definitely should have told someone, but I didn't. Take care of yourself, Cody, and always take proper precautions. Consider making a police report, no matter how silly it feels, because if he shows up again you have grounds for tougher treatment (at least the police will know there is a history if you end up needing a protective order). This is no joke, and you might feel awful and scared for a while. TELL SOMEONE THAT IS NEAR YOU. PLEASE.

I'm sorry this happened to you. I recommend the book The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker. I have recommended this book a bazillion times over the years. I think all women especially should read it. And I have said before, if you are a woman, or love a women or have daughters or nieces or friends or co workers, church members -- Make them read this book.

 

[skimom2]

I'm sorry this happened to you. I recommend the book The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker. I have recommended this book a bazillion times over the years. I think all women especially should read it. And I have said before, if you are a woman, or love a women or have daughters or nieces or friends or co workers, church members -- Make them read this book.

Yep. Read it and handed it down to my daughters. It's well worth a read.

 

[Dana Jean]

Yep. Read it and handed it down to my daughters. It's well worth a read.

Just some good information to think about for sure. Plants seeds for self preservation.

 

[CoriSCapnSkip]

Not only never go to a second location, but if you know a stalker is hanging around outside (either because they told you or you just happened to find out), don't even leave the building but immediately notify law enforcement and let THEM take care of it!

 

[FlakeNoir]

I'm sorry this happened to you. I recommend the book The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker. I have recommended this book a bazillion times over the years. I think all women especially should read it. And I have said before, if you are a women, or love a women or have daughters or nieces or friends or co workers, church members -- Make them read this book.

I've still got to get this book...

 

[hipmamajen]

First of all, BIG HUGS!!!!!!!!!

Secondly, I know you feel you should have, could have done something differently....but the truth is that even people who spend oodles of time prepping for stuff like this still end up being overpowered.

None of this is your fault, and you aren't responsible for what this weirdo did. You were smart and paid attention during the event, and used what you gathered to your advantage, that's the best thing anyone could have done.

People are tossing advice in to the thread, and they mean it for general knowledge not like "You should have known this beforehand!" Just in case you were reading it that way.

Are you okay right now? Do you have someone to call if you're afraid, or you just want to talk? Thankfully, you're okay. But your body is going to take a while to spin down after that panic and adrenaline, and this episode will probably repeat on you when you least expect it.

Big hugs, again. And a thousand times more!

 

[skimom2]

First of all, BIG HUGS!!!!!!!!!

Secondly, I know you feel you should have, could have done something differently....but the truth is that even people who spend oodles of time prepping for stuff like this still end up being overpowered.

None of this is your fault, and you aren't responsible for what this weirdo did. You were smart and paid attention during the event, and used what you gathered to your advantage, that's the best thing anyone could have done.

People are tossing advice in to the thread, and they mean it for general knowledge not like "You should have known this beforehand!" Just in case you were reading it that way.

Are you okay right now? Do you have someone to call if you're afraid, or you just want to talk? Thankfully, you're okay. But your body is going to take a while to spin down after that panic and adrenaline, and this episode will probably repeat on you when you least expect it.

Big hugs, again. And a thousand times more!