Okay, I Think I Just Drank Spider Legs

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danie

I am whatever you say I am.
Feb 26, 2008
9,760
60,662
60
Kentucky
I am sick.

A couple of days ago we had a bad storm and the power was out for like nine hours. I bought a cooler and bag of ice to keep my fridge food from spoiling.

After filling the cooler, of course the power came back on, and I had a lot of ice left over in this giant 22-pound bag. I pulled out a big silver bowl from the cabinet, poured the ice in it and put it in the freezer.

The ice was kind of melty, so it froze into a big block, and I took it out today and let it set on the counter because I couldn't break the ice up. Later, got thirsty. Ahhhh, here's a big bowl of freezing water with ice. Dipped my cup in it and been drinking it the last half hour.

I just looked in the cup a minute ago, and there are spider's legs floating in the water.

I have brown recluse legs in my stomach. Will my tummy rot now? I guess there was a spider (probably dead) in the bowl I didn't see when I put the ice in there.

I AM GROSSED OUT. And I hate spiders so much.
 

danie

I am whatever you say I am.
Feb 26, 2008
9,760
60,662
60
Kentucky
Spider legs are a great source of protein. Unless you got the whole spider and did not know it - and it was pregnant and babies scatted elsewhere.
540_293_resize_20130301_d079749b8aab6781279338a633ea54f3_jpg.jpg
 

Steffen

Well-Known Member
Aug 9, 2015
2,233
12,800
I was outside playing cards one night with my siblings. I yawned and a kamikaze mosquito flew right down my gullet. Nearly coughed my lungs out, and was pretty sure my eyeballs would roll out their sockets.

Of course, that doesn't compare with you munching down on Baby Pennywise... :Z:
 

Steffen

Well-Known Member
Aug 9, 2015
2,233
12,800
Okay, so just so you won't feel too bad, here's one of the grossest/funniest stories I've ever heard.

I had this buddy who would go out and party all night then come home drunk and fall asleep. Except he had this habit of sleeping in the buff. His apartment was pretty decent, but one morning he woke up with a hangover and kept hearing these scratching noises. He sits up and looks around, but can't figure those damn noises out. Keep in mind he's got a hangover and nekkid. He gets out of bed and turns around and sees a bulge on the wallpaper. The noises seem to be coming from there. So he pokes at the wallpaper until some of it tears off. Then a whole sh**load of cockroaches come swarming out. In his drunken state, all he can do is stare dumbfounded while roaches cover his wall. Eventually one flies at him, and guess where it lands? Smack dab on his Little Boy Blue! So my buddy panics, starts screaming and tries to slap the roach off. Except he hits himself square in the balls and passes out.

Anyway, when he told me this story I asked him how it felt knowing he passed out drunk in his apartment while a swarm of roaches had their was with his @$$. Like, literally had their way. He didn't find that funny for some reason. Go figure.
 

GNTLGNT

The idiot is IN
Jun 15, 2007
87,651
358,754
62
Cambridge, Ohio
Okay, so just so you won't feel too bad, here's one of the grossest/funniest stories I've ever heard.

I had this buddy who would go out and party all night then come home drunk and fall asleep. Except he had this habit of sleeping in the buff. His apartment was pretty decent, but one morning he woke up with a hangover and kept hearing these scratching noises. He sits up and looks around, but can't figure those damn noises out. Keep in mind he's got a hangover and nekkid. He gets out of bed and turns around and sees a bulge on the wallpaper. The noises seem to be coming from there. So he pokes at the wallpaper until some of it tears off. Then a whole sh**load of cockroaches come swarming out. In his drunken state, all he can do is stare dumbfounded while roaches cover his wall. Eventually one flies at him, and guess where it lands? Smack dab on his Little Boy Blue! So my buddy panics, starts screaming and tries to slap the roach off. Except he hits himself square in the balls and passes out.

Anyway, when he told me this story I asked him how it felt knowing he passed out drunk in his apartment while a swarm of roaches had their was with his @$$. Like, literally had their way. He didn't find that funny for some reason. Go figure.
...so his co*k got roached...that's funny right there...
 

Doc Creed

Well-Known Member
Nov 18, 2015
17,221
82,822
47
United States
Okay, so just so you won't feel too bad, here's one of the grossest/funniest stories I've ever heard.

I had this buddy who would go out and party all night then come home drunk and fall asleep. Except he had this habit of sleeping in the buff. His apartment was pretty decent, but one morning he woke up with a hangover and kept hearing these scratching noises. He sits up and looks around, but can't figure those damn noises out. Keep in mind he's got a hangover and nekkid. He gets out of bed and turns around and sees a bulge on the wallpaper. The noises seem to be coming from there. So he pokes at the wallpaper until some of it tears off. Then a whole sh**load of cockroaches come swarming out. In his drunken state, all he can do is stare dumbfounded while roaches cover his wall. Eventually one flies at him, and guess where it lands? Smack dab on his Little Boy Blue! So my buddy panics, starts screaming and tries to slap the roach off. Except he hits himself square in the balls and passes out.

Anyway, when he told me this story I asked him how it felt knowing he passed out drunk in his apartment while a swarm of roaches had their was with his @$$. Like, literally had their way. He didn't find that funny for some reason. Go figure.
:lol::lol::lol:
 

danie

I am whatever you say I am.
Feb 26, 2008
9,760
60,662
60
Kentucky
Okay, so just so you won't feel too bad, here's one of the grossest/funniest stories I've ever heard.

I had this buddy who would go out and party all night then come home drunk and fall asleep. Except he had this habit of sleeping in the buff. His apartment was pretty decent, but one morning he woke up with a hangover and kept hearing these scratching noises. He sits up and looks around, but can't figure those damn noises out. Keep in mind he's got a hangover and nekkid. He gets out of bed and turns around and sees a bulge on the wallpaper. The noises seem to be coming from there. So he pokes at the wallpaper until some of it tears off. Then a whole sh**load of cockroaches come swarming out. In his drunken state, all he can do is stare dumbfounded while roaches cover his wall. Eventually one flies at him, and guess where it lands? Smack dab on his Little Boy Blue! So my buddy panics, starts screaming and tries to slap the roach off. Except he hits himself square in the balls and passes out.

Anyway, when he told me this story I asked him how it felt knowing he passed out drunk in his apartment while a swarm of roaches had their was with his @$$. Like, literally had their way. He didn't find that funny for some reason. Go figure.
Well, now, I do feel better!
What a great story!
 

Spideyman

Uber Member
Jul 10, 2006
46,336
195,472
79
Just north of Duma Key
I am sick.

A couple of days ago we had a bad storm and the power was out for like nine hours. I bought a cooler and bag of ice to keep my fridge food from spoiling.

After filling the cooler, of course the power came back on, and I had a lot of ice left over in this giant 22-pound bag. I pulled out a big silver bowl from the cabinet, poured the ice in it and put it in the freezer.

The ice was kind of melty, so it froze into a big block, and I took it out today and let it set on the counter because I couldn't break the ice up. Later, got thirsty. Ahhhh, here's a big bowl of freezing water with ice. Dipped my cup in it and been drinking it the last half hour.

I just looked in the cup a minute ago, and there are spider's legs floating in the water.

I have brown recluse legs in my stomach. Will my tummy rot now? I guess there was a spider (probably dead) in the bowl I didn't see when I put the ice in there.

I AM GROSSED OUT. And I hate spiders so much.
Think of it as protein!