I should probably post this on a comic site, but I'd much rather share it with you guys. You're more fun than those geeks.
Set em up, Joe. (hic!) Three fingers of Red Menace Vodka coiled around an ice cold bottle of Mios Dio ale, and let the goat walk right through my peanuts. That's a good lad. (hic!) And gimme the change back in quarters for the juke. Yep.
Why am I down? Oh...Marvel (Disney) Comics. They're like that girlfriend who claims all the things that made her fall in love with you are the reasons she's leaving you now. Oh, sure, they've pretty much (hic!) sucked since the nineties, but now...ye gods...Thor is a woman. Spidey is a black Hispanic. Iron 'Man' is a teenaged black girl, Ms. Marvel is Muslim...it goes on and on. And if we don't like it (and sales prove we DONT), too bad...we're all just a buncha Nazi turds who don't dig their SJW agenda.
(hic!) Listen, I ain't got no trouble with diversifyin some characters; hell, I loved when Rhodey had to take over for Stark's drunk arse back in the eighties; I loved the John Stewart Green Lantern (DC, a'yuh, but, anyhoo). I dug the Monica Rambeau Captain Marvel. Those were damn good stories, they made sense, and are but a few examples of the four-color medium's more enlightened virtues. But this crap they're spewing now is just an across-the-board, company wide corporate mandate forcing editors and writers to conform to their whims. Such policies NEVER make for good, original stories.
The last straw is when it was revealed that Steve 'Captain America' Rogers has been a neo-Nazi Hydra agent THIS WHOLE TIME! Oh, puh-LEEEZE! That's an insult to Simon and Kirby, two Jewish-American GENIUSES who served their country in WWII (not to mention helped create the whole damn ball game)!
(hic!). Hey, I'm all for new thoughts, equality, diversity, what have you...one of my best friends is a cross dressing Native American who can kick anyone's arse in a bar brawl. But, damn it, Marvel, don't make me feel bad for the loving the original characters you seduced me with since I was old enough to hold a comic. Bring back Tony Stark, bring back the SON of Odin. Clear poor Steve Rogers' name. And, for God's sake, let us honor that sacred, two time loser--the one true Spidey, Peter Parker.
Why am I down? Oh...Marvel (Disney) Comics. They're like that girlfriend who claims all the things that made her fall in love with you are the reasons she's leaving you now. Oh, sure, they've pretty much (hic!) sucked since the nineties, but now...ye gods...Thor is a woman. Spidey is a black Hispanic. Iron 'Man' is a teenaged black girl, Ms. Marvel is Muslim...it goes on and on. And if we don't like it (and sales prove we DONT), too bad...we're all just a buncha Nazi turds who don't dig their SJW agenda.
(hic!) Listen, I ain't got no trouble with diversifyin some characters; hell, I loved when Rhodey had to take over for Stark's drunk arse back in the eighties; I loved the John Stewart Green Lantern (DC, a'yuh, but, anyhoo). I dug the Monica Rambeau Captain Marvel. Those were damn good stories, they made sense, and are but a few examples of the four-color medium's more enlightened virtues. But this crap they're spewing now is just an across-the-board, company wide corporate mandate forcing editors and writers to conform to their whims. Such policies NEVER make for good, original stories.
The last straw is when it was revealed that Steve 'Captain America' Rogers has been a neo-Nazi Hydra agent THIS WHOLE TIME! Oh, puh-LEEEZE! That's an insult to Simon and Kirby, two Jewish-American GENIUSES who served their country in WWII (not to mention helped create the whole damn ball game)!
(hic!). Hey, I'm all for new thoughts, equality, diversity, what have you...one of my best friends is a cross dressing Native American who can kick anyone's arse in a bar brawl. But, damn it, Marvel, don't make me feel bad for the loving the original characters you seduced me with since I was old enough to hold a comic. Bring back Tony Stark, bring back the SON of Odin. Clear poor Steve Rogers' name. And, for God's sake, let us honor that sacred, two time loser--the one true Spidey, Peter Parker.
of course).
- very nice on those cold mornings
