As one gets older...

  • New to the board or trying to figure out how something works here? Check out the User Guide.
  • The message board will be closed:
    From 3pm ET Thursday, August 16th to 8:30am ET Monday, August 20th.
    As always, the Board will be open to read and those who have those privileges can still send private messages and post to Profiles.

  • Hot Topics is on indefinite hiatus.

  • The message board is closed between the hours of 4pm ET Friday and 8:30am ET Monday.

    As always, the Board will be open to read and those who have those privileges can still send private messages and post to Profiles.

Arkay Lynchpin

Preserve wildlife; pickle a squirrel.
Dec 4, 2015
1,435
7,185
50
Melbourne, Australia
#1
I arrived home not too long ago and checked the mailbox, as one does, on the way in. Therein I found an A4 envelope containing a box with my name display the window.

Normally I would be curious in a good and expectantly hopeful way on receiving such packages but this one was sent by the Australian Government.

I was was still curious but closing in on becoming toey.

I opened the envelope, with more than a little trepidation, to find a 24" × 6.5" × 1" box, a 26 page-high gloss, four colour-pamphlet of the same length and width and a 4 page A4 aknowledgement form for me to return apon completion.

My first impression of the contents was S***, that was reasonably quick" (as I had only celebrated my 50th 44 days previous.

What have I received that would bring both mirth and anxiety? An FOBT pack.

You may well ask "What's an FOBT pack?"

Well, it's a test kit, sent by the Australian Government, on behalf of the National Bowel Cancer Screening Program Advisory Group, to Australians and Permanent Australian Residents (such as myself) to possibly determine or confirm elevated reports of bowel cancer in Australia due to some suspect catalyst(s).

What does the acronym FOBT stand for?
'Faecal Occult Blood Test;' hence the mirth.

I imagined government employees offering poop on a brazier-before an alter-and scrying, by the smoke and stench, what type of ailment the defecator may have, or possibly develop.


What has made you consider your age of late?
 

mal

content
Jun 23, 2007
3,501
19,054
56
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
#4
I arrived home not too long ago and checked the mailbox, as one does, on the way in. Therein I found an A4 envelope containing a box with my name display the window.

Normally I would be curious in a good and expectantly hopeful way on receiving such packages but this one was sent by the Australian Government.

I was was still curious but closing in on becoming toey.

I opened the envelope, with more than a little trepidation, to find a 24" × 6.5" × 1" box, a 26 page-high gloss, four colour-pamphlet of the same length and width and a 4 page A4 aknowledgement form for me to return apon completion.

My first impression of the contents was S***, that was reasonably quick" (as I had only celebrated my 50th 44 days previous.

What have I received that would bring both mirth and anxiety? An FOBT pack.

You may well ask "What's an FOBT pack?"

Well, it's a test kit, sent by the Australian Government, on behalf of the National Bowel Cancer Screening Program Advisory Group, to Australians and Permanent Australian Residents (such as myself) to possibly determine or confirm elevated reports of bowel cancer in Australia due to some suspect catalyst(s).

What does the acronym FOBT stand for?
'Faecal Occult Blood Test;' hence the mirth.

I imagined government employees offering poop on a brazier-before an alter-and scrying, by the smoke and stench, what type of ailment the defecator may have, or possibly develop.


What has made you consider your age of late?
I received one of those when I turned 50. I loved the idea of sending my sh*t to the government. They want it yearly now but my rule is every 5 years and my philosophy is that if a tree don't fall on me I'll live 'til I die.
 

ghost19

"Have I run too far to get home?"
Sep 25, 2011
8,172
50,022
45
Arkansas
#7
Age 42-44 has made me very aware of how my body is not as robust as it once was. I've always considered myself "tough" as far as injuries, sickness, things like that go. I was always able to shake things off and keep doing whatever it was I was doing, mostly working. I've visited the doctor's office more times in the last two years than in the previous twenty years. Things that used to go away or resolve themselves on their own as far as my health was concerned now seem to linger much longer and demand more attention as far as healing as they used to. It's irritating because I'm not any less busy than I was twenty years ago, more so if anything, but it seems like I have many more aches, pains, muscle and joint issues, and just overall health related items that I have to deal with now. Overall, I'd say getting older is overrated...lol Can I have a do over and be ten years old again? I was invincible back then, so I believed and seemed to be able to shake just about any type of injury off and go on about my business. Every morning when I wake up now is an exercise in "Ok, right foot ok, left foot, ahhh, pretty sore and stiff....right shoulder....forget about it...left arm, passable, right knee, not as swollen as usual, shouldn't be an issue today."...lol
Not sure when making sure all of my extremities are functioning, at least to some degree, became part of my morning mental checklist...lol
 

Neesy

#1 fan (Annie Wilkes cousin) 1st cousin Mom's side
May 24, 2012
57,095
210,411
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
#13
I arrived home not too long ago and checked the mailbox, as one does, on the way in. Therein I found an A4 envelope containing a box with my name display the window.

Normally I would be curious in a good and expectantly hopeful way on receiving such packages but this one was sent by the Australian Government.

I was was still curious but closing in on becoming toey.

I opened the envelope, with more than a little trepidation, to find a 24" × 6.5" × 1" box, a 26 page-high gloss, four colour-pamphlet of the same length and width and a 4 page A4 aknowledgement form for me to return apon completion.

My first impression of the contents was S***, that was reasonably quick" (as I had only celebrated my 50th 44 days previous.

What have I received that would bring both mirth and anxiety? An FOBT pack.

You may well ask "What's an FOBT pack?"

Well, it's a test kit, sent by the Australian Government, on behalf of the National Bowel Cancer Screening Program Advisory Group, to Australians and Permanent Australian Residents (such as myself) to possibly determine or confirm elevated reports of bowel cancer in Australia due to some suspect catalyst(s).

What does the acronym FOBT stand for?
'Faecal Occult Blood Test;' hence the mirth.

I imagined government employees offering poop on a brazier-before an alter-and scrying, by the smoke and stench, what type of ailment the defecator may have, or possibly develop.


What has made you consider your age of late?
What made me think about my age was how tired I was after driving a long distance over about 10 days (to Toronto and back) - when I got home I swear I pretty much slept for three days! (Well, not three days straight but I was glad I had a few days off to recuperate before returning to work).

Yeah - my doctor wants us to do those FOBT things too - Andy refuses to do it. A few years ago I attempted it (you should read the instructions :pirate:

Anyway, I had a colonoscopy and gastroscopy four years ago plus I eat lots of fibre and try to include more fruit and veggies in my diet. I suppose there is always the chance I could get colon cancer but it doesn't run in my family.
 

Arkay Lynchpin

Preserve wildlife; pickle a squirrel.
Dec 4, 2015
1,435
7,185
50
Melbourne, Australia
#19
I received one of those when I turned 50. I loved the idea of sending my sh*t to the government. They want it yearly now but my rule is every 5 years and my philosophy is that if a tree don't fall on me I'll live 'til I die.
:clap::lol:

Giving the government a bit of crap after having to take their crap for all these years is a wonderful notion.
 
We’ve created a Stephen King Library action for the 
			  Google Assistant and skill for Amazon Alexa. It'll give 
			  you a personalized reading recommendations based on your 
			  answers to a series of questions—so what are you waiting 
			  for? Find out which Stephen King book you should read 
			  next!