I do think this varies regionally and probably within social circles. Here's how we did it - and it was the norm among our friends and family - we got married in May 1991 though - times have changed a bit. My daughter was in a wedding a couple of years ago that broke her with all the financial expectations. She and her friends promised not to do that to each other.
Some things I've been wondering:
1. Should the bride or the bridesmaids pay for the bridesmaid dresses? I bought the fabric and patterns for the dresses, they could use my seamstress ($35/dress) or they could have someone they knew sew them - they were something that could be worn again - not a teal taffeta mermaid gown.
2. Should a bride ask her bridesmaids to pitch in for the cost of an expensive designer dress? No
3. Should the groomsmen pay for their own tuxes? My husband's parents paid - but they had the means. He's been in weddings where that wasn't the case.
4. Should the bride's family pay for the cost of the entire wedding? My mom paid for all of our's, but we wanted more flowers and paid for that ourselves, and we only bought a certain number of cases of wine and beer, and when that ran out, my father in law paid for the open bar - but it was something he wanted to do.
5. How do you feel about couples asking for cash instead of gifts from their guests? I didn't register anywhere. We both had our own apartments and didn't need anything, I'm not a fine china kind of girl, so we let people bring what they wanted for gifts. That meant mostly envelopes with $20s in them, fine by me. But we didn't ask for money.
6. If a couple is supposed to send thank you cards to their guests, then why do a lot of them neglect to do this? I can't say . I got mine out quickly. I've gotten prompt thank yous and other times I've wondered if my gift was ever received because I never got a thank you. Someone could have stolen the card with cash that I left on the gift table. I'd never be brave enough to ask the bride, but every time I see her I wonder if she's just rude like that or didn't get the money.
Some things I've been wondering:
1. Should the bride or the bridesmaids pay for the bridesmaid dresses? I bought the fabric and patterns for the dresses, they could use my seamstress ($35/dress) or they could have someone they knew sew them - they were something that could be worn again - not a teal taffeta mermaid gown.
2. Should a bride ask her bridesmaids to pitch in for the cost of an expensive designer dress? No
3. Should the groomsmen pay for their own tuxes? My husband's parents paid - but they had the means. He's been in weddings where that wasn't the case.
4. Should the bride's family pay for the cost of the entire wedding? My mom paid for all of our's, but we wanted more flowers and paid for that ourselves, and we only bought a certain number of cases of wine and beer, and when that ran out, my father in law paid for the open bar - but it was something he wanted to do.
5. How do you feel about couples asking for cash instead of gifts from their guests? I didn't register anywhere. We both had our own apartments and didn't need anything, I'm not a fine china kind of girl, so we let people bring what they wanted for gifts. That meant mostly envelopes with $20s in them, fine by me. But we didn't ask for money.
6. If a couple is supposed to send thank you cards to their guests, then why do a lot of them neglect to do this? I can't say . I got mine out quickly. I've gotten prompt thank yous and other times I've wondered if my gift was ever received because I never got a thank you. Someone could have stolen the card with cash that I left on the gift table. I'd never be brave enough to ask the bride, but every time I see her I wonder if she's just rude like that or didn't get the money.
