Embarrassing Situations In Public Places.......
- Thread starter staropeace
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LOL ... you got me on that one now....
And if you have someone near your butt floss and you strangle them, why...That's Entertainment.
Just thought of another one.....also happened while I was in college.......why the hell did all the funny things in my life happen to me while I was in college?.....something to ponder...anyway, cutting thru campus in my trusty Ford Ranger one day, spring semester, rush week for the local sororities, at least I think it was, all the sorority girls hanging out in front of their sorority houses putting up banners and such....was it an accident I decided to drive down sorority row that day even though it really wasn't on my way home???? Errr, ummm, anyway, I was observing several girls hanging up a banner in front of the Tri-Delta house, I wanted to make sure they were observing all safety regulations and weren't putting themselves in any awkward positions they shouldn't be........ they were stretching very far to pin up the corners...and......BLAM! I rear end the car in front of me.....we weren't going very fast at all, we both pulled into a campus parking lot directly across the street from the Tri-Delta house.....I get out of my truck, the car I hit was some type of small Honda type car, an Accord, if memory serves. Anyway, out from this Honda steps a girl who was hotter than the ones I had been checking out across the street. There is no damage to either of our vehicles, we basically just bounced off each other bumpers. I tell her I'm very sorry about hitting her car, she inspects her car, then looks across the street at the activities at the Tri-Delta house. She then strikes a very rueful smile and asks me point blank, "Were you checking out those girls and not paying attention to the road?"......Now, I was able to keep my gaze at eye level to her but then stupidly blurted out "Yes, yes I was...but you're better looking than all of them, would you like to go out sometime?"............How's that for brilliant, no?.....She just laughed in my face, told me to pay more attention to the road than girls' asses, turned around and got back in her car...I also got back in my truck......after I watched her walk back to her car..........Girls are so powerful.....it's scary....
....wouldn't recommend that line to anyone after a traffic accident. It's a wonder I've made it to 40 years old......
....wouldn't recommend that line to anyone after a traffic accident. It's a wonder I've made it to 40 years old......
This one is more recent...like today. And it's not so much public until this is posted here...but for the past few days I'd been noticing a smell inside my truck...all that mud and snow and rainwater goop here there everywhere I think...that place-mat under the brake pedal and accelerator, wet-damp...funky...only, I stop to gas up over at Louie's right...and so that's what I do, stop, get out...there's some lady on the other side, smart shoes, snappy pants, leather jacket...a whiff of perfume. I catch her wrinkling her nose...I left my door open, right? My door w/advertising on it? Name...rank...serial number...impressions. I realize I'm not very intuitive, but when she clunked the nozzle into the receptacle and then stepped to the door of her...vehicle...one of those not an SUV/not a car but a little of both? Caught her wave a ring-filled & polished before her face before she ducked inside, clunked the door shut...one of those highly satisfying noises...not like mine where you have to perform the act two three times...either the seat-belt is hanging half out the door or my big fat arse is...anyway...I'm thinking air-fresheners, right? One of those little pine cones you can hang form the mirror...until John Law stops you and tells you that sir is against the law.
I finish filling her up...3.39...get in take off driving down the road...had to stop at the hardware store for some rubber gaskets...lock up go in purchase back out, open the door, and the smell seemed even worse than the past few days, than half an hour earlier...maybe the heat from the motor...almost sub-zero temps lately.
And then the epiphany. Heh! Remember the stories about the dead fish or some other varmint under the hood...back seat maybe. I did it to myself this time...no, not a fish...just a wrapper, chicken wrapper. You ever notice how much the garbage can smells a day or three after chicken? Yeah, nasty. What had happened is that I told my wife I'll take that out in the bush (and burn it though I didn't say that...it was understood)...only I forgot.
So...what do I do? Put an ad in the local paper? Local carpenter cleans up! Can you imagine the scuttlebutt?
I finish filling her up...3.39...get in take off driving down the road...had to stop at the hardware store for some rubber gaskets...lock up go in purchase back out, open the door, and the smell seemed even worse than the past few days, than half an hour earlier...maybe the heat from the motor...almost sub-zero temps lately.
And then the epiphany. Heh! Remember the stories about the dead fish or some other varmint under the hood...back seat maybe. I did it to myself this time...no, not a fish...just a wrapper, chicken wrapper. You ever notice how much the garbage can smells a day or three after chicken? Yeah, nasty. What had happened is that I told my wife I'll take that out in the bush (and burn it though I didn't say that...it was understood)...only I forgot.
So...what do I do? Put an ad in the local paper? Local carpenter cleans up! Can you imagine the scuttlebutt?
I always love Walt's posts. He puts so much detail into them.