Jokes
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New Order, Smiths, Hall & Oates songs reimagined as Stephen King book covers---
And of course, One from Unkee....Sorry for all the pix, typing with one finger and a pencil! Enjoy and hugs! 
xxooa
xxooa
Good to be here, Spidey and awesome to see the old and the new members! I may not be here as often as possible, but I never forget you folken
NEVER! xxooa
....I'm sorry, Spidey reminds me that I was missing my own "glad to see you" darlin'!.....Good to be here, Spidey and awesome to see the old and the new members! I may not be here as often as possible, but I never forget you folken
What did the diplomat say to the guy outside of the Kremlin port-o-potty?
I don't wanna Russia but I Moscow!
Anni, isn't that funny?? I found that about a year or two ago and laughed for a good 10 minutes! 
A huge guy walks into a bar, approaches a little guy and karate chops him in the back. When the little guy gets up, the huge guy says, "That was a karate chop from Korea."
A little later, the huge guy walks back over to the little guy and karate chops him in the back. The huge guy says, "That was a karate chop from China."
The little guy leaves the bar, comes back and hits the huge guy on the back. The huge guy lies unconscious on the floor. The little guy tells the bartender, "Tell him that was a crowbar from Sears."
A little later, the huge guy walks back over to the little guy and karate chops him in the back. The huge guy says, "That was a karate chop from China."
The little guy leaves the bar, comes back and hits the huge guy on the back. The huge guy lies unconscious on the floor. The little guy tells the bartender, "Tell him that was a crowbar from Sears."
There was a woman and eight kids were following her down the street, all of them boys from the ages of 3 to 13. An elderly lady stops to talk to the woman and says, 'you've got lovely children'. One of the children starts pulling the hair of another one and the mother says, 'Stop doing that Peter!' both the kids look at her. The old lady asks what the kids names are and the mother says all of them are called Peter. 'So how do they know who you are talking to them if you have to?"
The mother replies, "I just use their different surnames"
The mother replies, "I just use their different surnames"
Last one made me laugh my tube socks off
A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Little Johnny says “I wanna be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, take a gorgeous hot babe with me, give her a fully loaded Ferrari worth in excess of a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii with an ocean view, a mansion near Paris on a hillside overlooking the Place Vendôme, a lear jet on which to travel Europe, a Carte Blanche Visa Card and to make her extremely happy three times a day.” The teacher, shocked and red-faced, and not knowing what to do about the outspokenness of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and continues the lesson. “And you, Susie?” the teacher asks. Susie says “I wanna be Johnny’s gorgeous hot babe!"