Quite a profound thought, ghost.
And quite the opposite, I did not fall asleep when reading your story; I shed a tear, for most of us know that feeling of wanting someone who doesn't want you. You told it in an honest way, and it was heart-wrenching for me to read. I like to think, that after she saw you that day, she had a little trouble focusing too, and wondered why she'd let you go...
I definitely think she also walked away from our meeting with some long thoughts. She looked at my son for a few minutes while we were talking and I think there was a few seconds of us both thinking "What if?". We were together too long for there not to be a few thoughts about alternate futures. To be honest, having had several years to consider the matter, I wouldn't have changed the way things went down, if what happened hadn't have happened, I might not have met my wife. It's odd that relationships during that part of my life still seem so visceral and real to me all these years later. I guess that's how I know I'm getting old, what I had for breakfast this morning is cloudy but memories from late teens and early 20's are still crystal clear.