I Am Angry Today Because . . .

cat in a bag · Dec 22, 2015

((((Skimom)))) You are amazing. I look up to you so much. I will be sending all my love, and saying prayers for you and your family every day. You will be missed, but we will be here for you always!! Big hugs to you!!

do1you9love? · Dec 22, 2015

skimom2 said:
Not angry, but sad. This year has been a toughie--BH got a better job: not as physically taxing, uses more of his skills and experience, more $/hr, but it came with a trade off: very little OT and no bonuses. At the same time, my income from writing has plummeted. Still selling books, but my new publisher has an agreement with Amazon, and somehow I'm not making much of anything anymore (Amazon rant averted. Thank me, because it's an ugly one. I HATE Amazon and Kindle Unlimited.). I lost an entire finished manuscript and parts of three others in the computer snafu at the end of last year, and I've not been able to make that up. After looking at our family books and feeling mighty sad about the lean Christmas my kids are having this year, I think I'm going to have to get a regular job for the first time in almost 20 years. It will be a big change, as I've been able to take care of my kids and be the available parent while doing what I love to do--it's truly a blessing.

I'm sadder than I've been in a very long time. There isn't anything I'd rather do than write and be a mom, as silly as that sounds. Newspaper income just isn't making up the difference. I'm going to be taking a break, because nothing positive is going to be coming out of me for a while.

I didn't want to worry my second family by pulling a disappearing trick, though.

Here's hoping for a wonderful, peaceful Christmas for my SKMB family, and a better new year. (((SKMB)))

(((Skimom2))) Sending my good wishes your way. I also want to say that it is evident in your posts how much love is in your household. Your kids may have a "lean" Christmas "stuff-wise" but they always have your love and that is worth more than money can buy. Hoping that you find your peace and as others have said, we will be here when you are ready to return. In the meantime, much love and good vibes to you!!

Moderator · Dec 22, 2015

skimom2 said:
Not angry, but sad. This year has been a toughie--BH got a better job: not as physically taxing, uses more of his skills and experience, more $/hr, but it came with a trade off: very little OT and no bonuses. At the same time, my income from writing has plummeted. Still selling books, but my new publisher has an agreement with Amazon, and somehow I'm not making much of anything anymore (Amazon rant averted. Thank me, because it's an ugly one. I HATE Amazon and Kindle Unlimited.). I lost an entire finished manuscript and parts of three others in the computer snafu at the end of last year, and I've not been able to make that up. After looking at our family books and feeling mighty sad about the lean Christmas my kids are having this year, I think I'm going to have to get a regular job for the first time in almost 20 years. It will be a big change, as I've been able to take care of my kids and be the available parent while doing what I love to do--it's truly a blessing.

I'm sadder than I've been in a very long time. There isn't anything I'd rather do than write and be a mom, as silly as that sounds. Newspaper income just isn't making up the difference. I'm going to be taking a break, because nothing positive is going to be coming out of me for a while.

I didn't want to worry my second family by pulling a disappearing trick, though.

Here's hoping for a wonderful, peaceful Christmas for my SKMB family, and a better new year. (((SKMB)))

I'm so sorry to hear this. I'd echo what the others have said. You're a creative person in so many ways and as Spidey said, maybe thinking outside the box will result in an idea you hadn't thought of to be able to keep doing what you love. Wishing you all the best and lots of luck with whatever happens. We'll be right here when you're ready to come back. (((skimom2)))

muskrat · Dec 22, 2015

((Mamaski))

I wanna hear the Amazon Rant, Skimom. I think we all do.

As for computer snafus, Lordy, I hear you. S'why I've returned to writing first drafts in longhand. Hey, if it was good enough for Dickens, it's good enuf fer Muskhole.

blunthead · Dec 22, 2015

(((((skimom)))))

HollyGolightly · Dec 22, 2015

skimom2 said:
Not angry, but sad. This year has been a toughie--BH got a better job: not as physically taxing, uses more of his skills and experience, more $/hr, but it came with a trade off: very little OT and no bonuses. At the same time, my income from writing has plummeted. Still selling books, but my new publisher has an agreement with Amazon, and somehow I'm not making much of anything anymore (Amazon rant averted. Thank me, because it's an ugly one. I HATE Amazon and Kindle Unlimited.). I lost an entire finished manuscript and parts of three others in the computer snafu at the end of last year, and I've not been able to make that up. After looking at our family books and feeling mighty sad about the lean Christmas my kids are having this year, I think I'm going to have to get a regular job for the first time in almost 20 years. It will be a big change, as I've been able to take care of my kids and be the available parent while doing what I love to do--it's truly a blessing.

I'm sadder than I've been in a very long time. There isn't anything I'd rather do than write and be a mom, as silly as that sounds. Newspaper income just isn't making up the difference. I'm going to be taking a break, because nothing positive is going to be coming out of me for a while.

I didn't want to worry my second family by pulling a disappearing trick, though.

Here's hoping for a wonderful, peaceful Christmas for my SKMB family, and a better new year. (((SKMB)))

Oh honey! I'm so sad to hear all of this! I'm going to keep you and your family in my prayers. I'll be in touch often.
In case you do come back on for a minute, I want to let you know - working might be a good thing for you. I spent 5 years staying home with the two younger ones, and though I am grateful I was so blessed to not have to put them in daycare, being home was harder than working, in my opinion. Of course, your's are all in school, so you don't have whining and diapers and naps and having to take toddlers to the grocery store. But it did me a world of good when I went back to work. You gotta find your balance, but once you do, it'll be good. And more money, more money!

pegasus216 · Dec 22, 2015

(((((skimom)))))

CoriSCapnSkip · Dec 22, 2015

Mr. Cranky said:
I was angry earlier because I couldn't achieve my optimal thought state and I had a 'no-energy/depressive' thought mentality but I got a recharge when someone was rude to me when I was waiting in line at the supermarket( well I perceived them to be rude) but now I'm in the 'assertive/high-energy' mode and my outlook on life is much better.

This sort of thing sounds terrible but to some extent it works!

blunthead · Dec 22, 2015

Mr. Cranky said:
I was angry earlier because I couldn't achieve my optimal thought state and I had a 'no-energy/depressive' thought mentality but I got a recharge when someone was rude to me when I was waiting in line at the supermarket( well I perceived them to be rude) but now I'm in the 'assertive/high-energy' mode and my outlook on life is much better.

Is the activation of our modes dependent on others?

CriticAndProud · Jan 3, 2016

Well, I was all set to book an exclusive, extended, pre-wide release 70mm showing of Quentin Tarantino's new masterpiece The Hateful Eight, when I discovered it was rated R18+ by our draconian classifications board. This means that no-one under the age of 18 can see it legally, parental supervision or not.

I would post the little rant I had, because in hindsight, it was hilarious, but there's probably too many "f"s and "c"s, if you catch my drift. :O_O:

HollyGolightly · Jan 3, 2016

CriticAndProud said:
Well, I was all set to book an exclusive, extended, pre-wide release 70mm showing of Quentin Tarantino's new masterpiece The Hateful Eight, when I discovered it was rated R18+ by our draconian classifications board. This means that no-one under the age of 18 can see it legally, parental supervision or not.

I would post the little rant I had, because in hindsight, it was hilarious, but there's probably too many "f"s and "c"s, if you catch my drift.

Good morning love! I'm such a slacker mom that I took 4 almost 15 year old boys to see it. I know, I know - give me a blue ribbon - I really suck at this parenting thing. I did get permission from the other kid's moms and I had a friend go with me and we sat far, far away from those boys. I don't think it was the curse words that got it that rating. It's very reminiscent of Reservoir Dogs. Don't google anything and spoil it for yourself. Will one of your parents take you?

*edit* I just caught the part where you can't go - parental supervision or not. Dang, we're such heathens here in the U.S.

not_nadine · Jan 3, 2016

CriticAndProud said:
Well, I was all set to book an exclusive, extended, pre-wide release 70mm showing of Quentin Tarantino's new masterpiece The Hateful Eight, when I discovered it was rated R18+ by our draconian classifications board. This means that no-one under the age of 18 can see it legally, parental supervision or not.

I would post the little rant I had, because in hindsight, it was hilarious, but there's probably too many "f"s and "c"s, if you catch my drift.

Keep forgetting how young you are. :grinning:

Haunted · Jan 3, 2016

skimom2 said:
Not angry, but sad. This year has been a toughie--BH got a better job: not as physically taxing, uses more of his skills and experience, more $/hr, but it came with a trade off: very little OT and no bonuses. At the same time, my income from writing has plummeted. Still selling books, but my new publisher has an agreement with Amazon, and somehow I'm not making much of anything anymore (Amazon rant averted. Thank me, because it's an ugly one. I HATE Amazon and Kindle Unlimited.). I lost an entire finished manuscript and parts of three others in the computer snafu at the end of last year, and I've not been able to make that up. After looking at our family books and feeling mighty sad about the lean Christmas my kids are having this year, I think I'm going to have to get a regular job for the first time in almost 20 years. It will be a big change, as I've been able to take care of my kids and be the available parent while doing what I love to do--it's truly a blessing.

I'm sadder than I've been in a very long time. There isn't anything I'd rather do than write and be a mom, as silly as that sounds. Newspaper income just isn't making up the difference. I'm going to be taking a break, because nothing positive is going to be coming out of me for a while.

I didn't want to worry my second family by pulling a disappearing trick, though.

Here's hoping for a wonderful, peaceful Christmas for my SKMB family, and a better new year. (((SKMB)))

((((skimom2)))) Praying that 2016 will be a wonderful new year for you and your family.

Alexandra M · Jan 3, 2016

ghost19 said:
WHY in the name of Zeus' BUTTHOLE do co-workers CONSTANTLY have to come by my desk and tell me how many likes they have received for posting some stupid crap on Facebook? I'm quite sure I have heard "MY FACEBOOK PAGE JUST BLEW UP!!!" about 5 times today. WHO FRIGGIN' CARES??? Are employers obligated to give you a certain amount of time every day to make sure you've received enough self-started false entitlement every hour? Did I miss that memo? I am old, that is all there is to it.....

If I'm ever the direct supervisor for said employees....there will be changes.

You could always get a target and put it over the Facebook logo on the wall. Then put your most vicious handgun on the corner of your desk. I'm thinking that may make them look up from their keyboards for a minute. You vent? I have all this black humour swirling
around in my brain. :nope:

morgan · Jan 4, 2016

I am angry at myself today. My mom needs positive energy after her accident, but I had nothing but fear, depression, and sadness today. I'm so scared she'll be out of commission for a long time. She doesn't have any benefits at her job (sick leave, vacation, etc.). If she is out of work for weeks, I don't know how the bills will be paid. I contribute every month, but don't know how much extra will be needed. I'm hoping her church will be able to help. Don't know why I feel so incredibly hopeless, maybe because I've barely slept in four days (I sure hope I'm putting on a braver face for her sake - I'm trying!).

Dana Jean · Jan 4, 2016

morgan said:
I am angry at myself today. My mom needs positive energy after her accident, but I had nothing but fear, depression, and sadness today. I'm so scared she'll be out of commission for a long time. She doesn't have any benefits at her job (sick leave, vacation, etc.). If she is out of work for weeks, I don't know how the bills will be paid. I contribute every month, but don't know how much extra will be needed. I'm hoping her church will be able to help. Don't know why I feel so incredibly hopeless, maybe because I've barely slept in four days (I sure hope I'm putting on a braver face for her sake - I'm trying!).

Being a caretaker and taking over the role as "parent" is tough. And it makes you sad and angry and despondent and insane and and and... You are human and you will run the gamut of feelings. Don't beat yourself up. Just take each day as it comes. Don't look too far in the future because it can scare you and you do feel hopeless. Just don't. What happens, happens. Just take it a day at a time. You will be strong.

morgan · Jan 4, 2016

Dana Jean said:
Being a caretaker and taking over the role as "parent" is tough. And it makes you sad and angry and despondent and insane and and and... You are human and you will run the gamut of feelings. Don't beat yourself up. Just take each day as it comes. Don't look too far in the future because it can scare you and you do feel hopeless. Just don't. What happens, happens. Just take it a day at a time. You will be strong.

Thank you so much for your kind words.

I started out feeling grateful, knowing how much worse things could've been. She had two major surgeries within a year (several years ago) and I was her caretaker. She was bed-ridden for a very long time. I'm guessing that's why I'm so fearful...

cat in a bag · Jan 5, 2016

((((Morgan)))) positive and calming vibes!! Lots of prayers, too.

niro · Jan 5, 2016

(((Morgan))) sending a ton of positive vibes for you and some healing vibes for your mom.

HollyGolightly · Jan 5, 2016

morgan said:
I am angry at myself today. My mom needs positive energy after her accident, but I had nothing but fear, depression, and sadness today. I'm so scared she'll be out of commission for a long time. She doesn't have any benefits at her job (sick leave, vacation, etc.). If she is out of work for weeks, I don't know how the bills will be paid. I contribute every month, but don't know how much extra will be needed. I'm hoping her church will be able to help. Don't know why I feel so incredibly hopeless, maybe because I've barely slept in four days (I sure hope I'm putting on a braver face for her sake - I'm trying!).

Lots of prayers for your strength and peace. I'd just start calling the bill folks on her behalf and let them know what happened. Get to them before the avalanche starts. Boy, have I been there! Do seek help from her church. Our's helps folks out all the time. And try to get some sleep. I'm hoping the surgeon can help with her pain today and once she's resting better, you'll rest better. You need some sleep to think clearly. Good Lord, I wish there was some way I could help you out! ((((morgan)))

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