COMMENTS FOR HALLOWEEN STORY 2016

[Nomik]

She wrote her part well. I'm with GNTLGNT on this one; it was a nice bit.

 

[Leif]

She wrote her part well. I'm with GNTLGNT on this one; it was a nice bit.

I agree and it gave the story added excitement and direction as well.

 

[Sundrop]

Very nice, Garriga!

....and I don't know who added part 8, but I like it!

 

[Kurben]

Very nice, Garriga!

....and I don't know who added part 8, but I like it!

The Great writer behind part eight is our Shoesalesman! I think he did a grand job.

 

[Sundrop]

The Great writer behind part eight is our Shoesalesman! I think he did a grand job.

Yay, Shoesalesman!!! Thanks for letting me know, Kurben ♥

 

[Nomik]

Yay, Shoesalesman!!! Thanks for letting me know, Kurben ♥

That was my favorite part!

 

[Sundrop]

Thanks Sunny

I love that photo.....did you take it?

 

[Leif]

I love that photo.....did you take it?

Thanks! Yes. I take photos of the sunrise while I'm fishing. I have many. Every day is different.

 

[Haunted]

Garriga: Your brief but succinct addition has given us a whole new phase and cast! THANKS for expanding the story!!

 

[Haunted]

Shoesalesman: More mysterious doings! Your words were vivid and make me want more. THANKS!

 

[Sundrop]

Thanks! Yes. I take photos of the sunrise while I'm fishing. I have many. Every day is different.

Awesome!!! I think it's great that you get to spend time doing what you love!

 

[Moderator]

I've added Shoesalesman's name to his part of the story.

 

[Spideyman]

Shoesalesman - masterpiece in writing, weaving threads, and descriptions. Even left us with a cliffhanger--Great addition!!

 

[Leif]

Great work Shoesalesman. Exciting reading and very visual. Great conversation between Chris and Rachael.

My favorite part.

Spoiler

Chris watched in disbelief as the bunker started to come apart at the seams. It didn’t unfold as much as it unfurled, concrete and conduit-piping rippling apart like they’d been drawn on a canvas of stilled water. The guns, cot and bucket melded into slivers of deep-red before disappearing completely. Everything came apart and bled together until it was too nauseating to watch.

 

[arista]

Good job Shoesalesman. ..just keeps getting more intriguing.

 

[Dana Jean]

I've added Shoesalesman's name to his part of the story.

Thank you! My apologies to Shoesalesman. I was in a hurry to get it up, forgot his name!

 

[no bounce no play]

Shoesalesman I love how you brought the Lucy/Chris/Rachel themes together with dialog... you write amazing dialog

 

[no bounce no play]

My favorite part.

Spoiler

Chris watched in disbelief as the bunker started to come apart at the seams. It didn’t unfold as much as it unfurled, concrete and conduit-piping rippling apart like they’d been drawn on a canvas of stilled water. The guns, cot and bucket melded into slivers of deep-red before disappearing completely. Everything came apart and bled together until it was too nauseating to watch.

I liked that part too. I liked that he described the space transfer instead of explaining it. The vision said it all

 

[king family fan]

Shoesalesman great job

 

[Dana Jean]

Great addition to the storyline, good writing Shoesalesman!