If YOU Could Go Back In Time In Your Life...

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ghost19

"Have I run too far to get home?"
Sep 25, 2011
8,145
49,741
45
Arkansas
#81
I was watching my fiancee sleep last night, I couldn't get to sleep for some reason. I was thinking I'd like to go back to around 11th grade when I used to watch her walk into the school auditorium in the mornings after she got off the bus. She always looked so good. I used to have such a bad crush on her during those years, always looking for her when she walked in, always trying to find some excuse to talk to her, trying to work up the nerve to ask her out but I never could. We've both talked about how things might have been different. She says she would have went out with me had I asked but I think she's just being polite. Good looking basketball players didn't date geeky computer nerds like myself in high school, just not how it worked back then. I want to believe her but I have hard time doing so. I think, knowing now what I do, I'd walk up to her and risk the butterfly effect ramifications. I wouldn't trade my son for anything and I know she feels the same way toward her son but I can't help running the scenario over and over in my mind. We went in complete opposite directions in college. She was in a sorority and in Air Force ROTC, I spun out of control into self-destructive behavior and addiction, but I can't help wondering if that would have happened had I been with her as we came out of high school. Would the relationship have endured? Would the two boys we have from our previous spouses have been our boys instead? How much different would the last 26 years of my life been? Would the relationship have bloomed into something more serious than just a high school thing? There's an easy calm between us now that we're together, just like there was when we were friends in school. I always hid the fact I had a bad crush on her but girls usually know, don't they? That's not on her if she did, it's on me, but she's told me she always just thought I wanted to be friends and figured if I hadn't asked her out by my senior year after knowing her for five years, I wasn't interested. How can so much have been lost in translation back then? lol.

I was talking to her dad a couple of weeks ago when we were out at his place for Tamara's birthday. Tamara had told me in a conversation we had one day that her mom way back when had told her she should go out with "That Shannon boy who you're always talking to at school. He's very nice and seems to like you a lot." She had mentioned to her mom that no one has asked her to the Homecoming dance her junior year, my senior year. Tamara said she told her mom that I was just a friend and that I wasn't interested in her in that way. She said her mom told her she might be wrong about that. I was telling her dad this story and he confirmed the whole thing. He said the conversation took place over dinner one night and he was listening to the both of them talk about the subject back and forth and heard my name come up. He didn't know me at the time and didn't say anything but he said, knowing what Tamara has gone thru in her prior relationships, that his wife, Tamara's mom, now deceased, may have knew something that Tamara didn't. That blew me away. I met Tamara's mom just a few times at school functions. She was very nice and was our part time school nurse while Tamara and I were in school so she must have seen us together a few times.

So yeah, I'd head back to 1990 I think now and put my chips on the table with Tamara. I think it would be worth it, I really do.
 
Last edited:

GNTLGNT

The idiot is IN
Jun 15, 2007
81,027
307,967
56
Cambridge, Ohio
#82
I was watching my fiancee sleep last night, I couldn't get to sleep for some reason. I was thinking I'd like to go back to around 11th grade when I used to watch her walk into the school auditorium in the mornings after she got off the bus. She always looked so good. I used to have such a bad crush on her during those years, always looking for her when she walked in, always trying to find some excuse to talk to her, trying to work up the nerve to ask her out but I never could. We've both talked about how things might have been different. She says she would have went out with me had I asked but I think she's just being polite. Good looking basketball players didn't date geeky computer nerds like myself in high school, just not how it worked back then. I want to believe her but I have hard time doing so. I think, knowing now what I do, I'd walk up to her and risk the butterfly effect ramifications. I wouldn't trade my son for anything and I know she feels the same way toward her son but I can't help running the scenario over and over in my mind. We went in complete opposite directions in college. She was in a sorority and in Air Force ROTC, I spun out of control into self-destructive behavior and addiction, but I can't help wondering if that would have happened had I been with her as we came out of high school. Would the relationship have endured? Would the two boys we have from our previous spouses have been our boys instead? How much different would the last 26 years of my life been? Would the relationship have bloomed into something more serious than just a high school thing? There's an easy calm between us now that we're together, just like there was when we were friends in school. I always hid the fact I had a bad crush on her but girls usually know, don't they? That's not on her if she did, it's on me, but she's told me she always just thought I wanted to be friends and figured if I hadn't asked her out by my senior year after knowing her for five years, I wasn't interested. How can so much have been lost in translation back then? lol.

I was talking to her dad a couple of weeks ago when we were out at his place for Tamara's birthday. Tamara had told me in a conversation we had one day that her mom way back when had told her she should go out with "That Shannon boy who you're always talking to at school. He's very nice and seems to like you a lot." She had mentioned to her mom that no one has asked her to the Homecoming dance her junior year, my senior year. Tamara said she told her mom that I was just a friend and that I wasn't interested in her in that way. She said her mom told her she might be wrong about that. I was telling her dad this story and he confirmed the whole thing. He said the conversation took place over dinner one night and he was listening to the both of them talk about the subject back and forth and heard my name come up. He didn't know me at the time and didn't say anything but he said, knowing what Tamara has gone thru in her prior relationships, that his wife, Tamara's mom, now deceased, may have knew something that Tamara didn't. That blew me away. I met Tamara's mom just a few times at school functions. She was very nice and was our part time school nurse while Tamara and I were in school so she must have seen us together a few times.

So yeah, I'd head back to 1990 I think now and put my chips on the table with Tamara. I think it would be worth it, I really do.
....but you'd still wonder what the hell you did with your lighter.....
 

melindaville

Well-Known Member
Nov 14, 2011
307
1,061
Boston and San Francisco
#83
OK after revisiting this thread, kind of a bittersweet experience, I have another close second time that I would go back.

As many of you know that have read the "drivel" that this board has allowed me to post, on March 1st of this year I took a trip in the middle of night to a local hospital. After EMTs put me on the gurney in my living room I looked at my youngest son and told him quite confidently "I will see you in a little while". 6 hours, 2 defibrillator shocks and 2 stents later I did get to see him. First thing I said to him was "I love you". Should have said it 6 hours before. Now I tell him every time we are going to be apart. Man he is getting so tired of it.

Guess what? I realized we never know if it might be the last time. If you care about someone tell them.

Don't give yourself a chance to regret not saying how you feel.

All our times here are finite.

Now that I am done preaching if someone will show me how to make one of them "GoFundMe" pages I will take up a collection. :heheh:

See drivel.
You are so right. I lost many friends in San Francisco during the late 1980's before they came up with an effective treatment for AIDS. I learned then how important cherishing people and those moments--but with those people who suffered so (R.I.P.), I knew they were ill.

This spring, about 3 months after my mom's death, my sister had a brain aneurism. She should have died--and most people would have except we seem to be made of some stern stuff in our family (my mom always said my sis and I had hybrid vigor because of the mixing of two races). That was a sharp slap of reality because I hadn't told her how much I loved her for quite a while--and I needed that reminder.

While I have experienced unexpected death but my sister is family and I guess it hit home that much harder--and perhaps it was also the timing, so close after losing mom. One thing is for sure. Each time my husband leaves on a business trip without me, I make sure I tell him how much I love him. In general, I think as we age, we cherish our loves ones even more. That has been true for me at least.
 

thekidd12

Baseball is a good thing.Always was,always will be
Apr 8, 2016
1,386
7,298
54
NC
#85
The thing about human nature is if we could alter our presents by changing the past we still wouldn't be satisfied.
Wab, I usually don't take umbrage at what anyone posts. If I disagree or just plainly don't like it I ignore it. Usually.

Your statement to me comes across as a very pessimistic opinion of "human nature". I have never shared that point of view. Think a lot of that comes from my father who I have mentioned quite a few times in this thread. He was extremely satisfied in the way his life had turned out.

After my "strobe light" vacation I have embraced his philosophy of just enjoy what you have as well. When I do leave this world I can say with conviction I am leaving behind three wonderful, intelligent, hard working, well thought of children. That is enough for me. I know this is not the bar everyone sets for themselves on the satisfied scale but personally I can't think of anything that could be more important.

Satisfaction is an individual thing but perhaps we all should be a little less selfish in what we expect. Be happy with what you have not worry about what you don't. (I know preachy right?)

This post of mine kind of goes against what thread was really about huh?

Now if I misconstrued the point of your post, as my youngest would say in texts he sends me...

NM
 
Oct 11, 2017
15
60
88
#87
For craps and giggles I'd go see the fifties myself, as I am a huge fan of rockabilly and psychobilly. I even dress as if it were 1955. Also the roaring twenties, and a few periods of history that were pivotal - ie, the Renaissance, Byzantine, iron age.. wow, there are SO many!
 

Neesy

#1 fan (Annie Wilkes cousin) 1st cousin Mom's side
May 24, 2012
56,659
206,943
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
#88
For craps and giggles I'd go see the fifties myself, as I am a huge fan of rockabilly and psychobilly. I even dress as if it were 1955. Also the roaring twenties, and a few periods of history that were pivotal - ie, the Renaissance, Byzantine, iron age.. wow, there are SO many!
Welcome to SKMB Dennis
410CCF1F-C27C-451C-B844-99A4ACEC20DF.jpeg
 

Christine62

Well-Known Member
Nov 7, 2013
493
3,117
56
Oklahoma City
#90
I had a moment that defined me--one of many I'm sure. I was 12 going along thinking I was like anyone else and my stepsister told me "We're not supposed to tell you but you're mentally retarded." Apparently 6 years earlier my parents took me to a neurologist because I was slow and clumsy. They diagnosed me with "minimal brain dysfunction"--whatever the heck that was--so this was the reason why I was sent to remedial reading, I wasn't allowed to cross the street by myself or carry my fricking tray at Furr's.

For years, I thought I was stupid--but I discovered in that in one area I was not--writing. With the writing became my way of changing my past--all those embarrassing experiences, I made them funny--I controlled my story.

I loved the idea of going back and changing things--especially protecting my children from pain but if we choose we can learn from pain--it makes us wiser, more empathetic and hopefully more able to help others. There's probably a story in that somewhere.
 

Christine62

Well-Known Member
Nov 7, 2013
493
3,117
56
Oklahoma City
#91
I am at that point in my life where I really wish I had finished college. I was valedictorian of my high school class. I was supposed to DO things, BE someone.


After I got out of the hospital with my second psychosis--I'm sitting in the car with my 24 year old son. I said that my life was a waste and I didn't do anything great with it.

He said, and I will never ever forget this:

"Mom, maybe the great thing you were supposed to do with your life was me and Sissy." I had no words.
 

cat in a bag

Well-Known Member
Aug 28, 2010
10,255
52,394
wyoming
#92
After I got out of the hospital with my second psychosis--I'm sitting in the car with my 24 year old son. I said that my life was a waste and I didn't do anything great with it.

He said, and I will never ever forget this:

"Mom, maybe the great thing you were supposed to do with your life was me and Sissy." I had no words.
Aww, what a great thing to hear! Treasure that memory! :)
 

Kurben

The Fool on the Hill
Apr 12, 2014
8,643
56,799
53
sweden
#94
I'd go way back.... I'd like to see how we really treated the Neanderthals and i would have a talk with a cromagnon man about the real reason for the different cavepaintings. Oh, in my life..... Thats difficult.... I remember an evening after a party when a girli had a crush on asked me to come up but i was too shy (and scared (girls was this big mystery, you know)) to go with her. I was perhaps 17 and it would be interesting to know what would have happened........
 

doowopgirl

very avid fan
Aug 7, 2009
6,601
22,616
60
dublin ireland
#96
After I got out of the hospital with my second psychosis--I'm sitting in the car with my 24 year old son. I said that my life was a waste and I didn't do anything great with it.

He said, and I will never ever forget this:

"Mom, maybe the great thing you were supposed to do with your life was me and Sissy." I had no words.
He hit it right.
 

E.L.D

Active Member
Nov 6, 2017
38
194
#98
If I could go back it would be to my freshman year. During my first semester I met a girl that ended up changing me for the better,we were very close friends. After our first semester I had developed feelings for her and asked her out, now whenever we are together there is always this awkward silence replacing the deep conversations we used to have. So if I could go back three years I would stop myself from asking her, that way we could go back to how thing used to be.
 

Christine62

Well-Known Member
Nov 7, 2013
493
3,117
56
Oklahoma City
#99
If I could go back it would be to my freshman year. During my first semester I met a girl that ended up changing me for the better,we were very close friends. After our first semester I had developed feelings for her and asked her out, now whenever we are together there is always this awkward silence replacing the deep conversations we used to have. So if I could go back three years I would stop myself from asking her, that way we could go back to how thing used to be.
Life is short! Write the girl a letter, Man! Express what you are feeling. God if you want to know anything-- most women LOVE a man who can express themselves. If it works GREAT! If not, you gave it your best shot. That's what I would do--of course I'm the kind of person who would love a letter.
 

thekidd12

Baseball is a good thing.Always was,always will be
Apr 8, 2016
1,386
7,298
54
NC
That's just human nature. P.ersonally I think we would just do the same things over and over.
doowopgirl I think that with the wisdom and or knowledge that comes with age that maybe a person would not do the same things over and over. The way I understood the scenario when you went back you carried all this with you and were not simply placed back to a "life altering" moment. But then again this is all hypothetical and I could be wrong.
 
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