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If YOU Could Go Back In Time In Your Life...

Discussion in '11/22/63' started by BrokenolMarine, Dec 20, 2016.

  1. ghost19

    ghost19 "Have I run too far to get home?"

    I was watching my fiancee sleep last night, I couldn't get to sleep for some reason. I was thinking I'd like to go back to around 11th grade when I used to watch her walk into the school auditorium in the mornings after she got off the bus. She always looked so good. I used to have such a bad crush on her during those years, always looking for her when she walked in, always trying to find some excuse to talk to her, trying to work up the nerve to ask her out but I never could. We've both talked about how things might have been different. She says she would have went out with me had I asked but I think she's just being polite. Good looking basketball players didn't date geeky computer nerds like myself in high school, just not how it worked back then. I want to believe her but I have hard time doing so. I think, knowing now what I do, I'd walk up to her and risk the butterfly effect ramifications. I wouldn't trade my son for anything and I know she feels the same way toward her son but I can't help running the scenario over and over in my mind. We went in complete opposite directions in college. She was in a sorority and in Air Force ROTC, I spun out of control into self-destructive behavior and addiction, but I can't help wondering if that would have happened had I been with her as we came out of high school. Would the relationship have endured? Would the two boys we have from our previous spouses have been our boys instead? How much different would the last 26 years of my life been? Would the relationship have bloomed into something more serious than just a high school thing? There's an easy calm between us now that we're together, just like there was when we were friends in school. I always hid the fact I had a bad crush on her but girls usually know, don't they? That's not on her if she did, it's on me, but she's told me she always just thought I wanted to be friends and figured if I hadn't asked her out by my senior year after knowing her for five years, I wasn't interested. How can so much have been lost in translation back then? lol.

    I was talking to her dad a couple of weeks ago when we were out at his place for Tamara's birthday. Tamara had told me in a conversation we had one day that her mom way back when had told her she should go out with "That Shannon boy who you're always talking to at school. He's very nice and seems to like you a lot." She had mentioned to her mom that no one has asked her to the Homecoming dance her junior year, my senior year. Tamara said she told her mom that I was just a friend and that I wasn't interested in her in that way. She said her mom told her she might be wrong about that. I was telling her dad this story and he confirmed the whole thing. He said the conversation took place over dinner one night and he was listening to the both of them talk about the subject back and forth and heard my name come up. He didn't know me at the time and didn't say anything but he said, knowing what Tamara has gone thru in her prior relationships, that his wife, Tamara's mom, now deceased, may have knew something that Tamara didn't. That blew me away. I met Tamara's mom just a few times at school functions. She was very nice and was our part time school nurse while Tamara and I were in school so she must have seen us together a few times.

    So yeah, I'd head back to 1990 I think now and put my chips on the table with Tamara. I think it would be worth it, I really do.
     
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2017
  2. GNTLGNT

    GNTLGNT The idiot is IN

    ....but you'd still wonder what the hell you did with your lighter.....
     
  3. melindaville

    melindaville Well-Known Member

    You are so right. I lost many friends in San Francisco during the late 1980's before they came up with an effective treatment for AIDS. I learned then how important cherishing people and those moments--but with those people who suffered so (R.I.P.), I knew they were ill.

    This spring, about 3 months after my mom's death, my sister had a brain aneurism. She should have died--and most people would have except we seem to be made of some stern stuff in our family (my mom always said my sis and I had hybrid vigor because of the mixing of two races). That was a sharp slap of reality because I hadn't told her how much I loved her for quite a while--and I needed that reminder.

    While I have experienced unexpected death but my sister is family and I guess it hit home that much harder--and perhaps it was also the timing, so close after losing mom. One thing is for sure. Each time my husband leaves on a business trip without me, I make sure I tell him how much I love him. In general, I think as we age, we cherish our loves ones even more. That has been true for me at least.
     
    doowopgirl, Neesy, GNTLGNT and 2 others like this.
  4. Wab

    Wab Well-Known Member

    The thing about human nature is if we could alter our presents by changing the past we still wouldn't be satisfied.
     
    doowopgirl, Neesy, Spideyman and 2 others like this.
  5. thekidd12

    thekidd12 Baseball is a good thing.Always was,always will be

    Wab, I usually don't take umbrage at what anyone posts. If I disagree or just plainly don't like it I ignore it. Usually.

    Your statement to me comes across as a very pessimistic opinion of "human nature". I have never shared that point of view. Think a lot of that comes from my father who I have mentioned quite a few times in this thread. He was extremely satisfied in the way his life had turned out.

    After my "strobe light" vacation I have embraced his philosophy of just enjoy what you have as well. When I do leave this world I can say with conviction I am leaving behind three wonderful, intelligent, hard working, well thought of children. That is enough for me. I know this is not the bar everyone sets for themselves on the satisfied scale but personally I can't think of anything that could be more important.

    Satisfaction is an individual thing but perhaps we all should be a little less selfish in what we expect. Be happy with what you have not worry about what you don't. (I know preachy right?)

    This post of mine kind of goes against what thread was really about huh?

    Now if I misconstrued the point of your post, as my youngest would say in texts he sends me...

    NM
     
    Neesy, GNTLGNT and do1you9love? like this.
  6. ghost19

    ghost19 "Have I run too far to get home?"

    I think I've asked that question in more situations than ANY other question in my life...lol
     
    Kurben, Neesy, Spideyman and 2 others like this.
  7. Dennis Jagged

    Dennis Jagged Member

    For craps and giggles I'd go see the fifties myself, as I am a huge fan of rockabilly and psychobilly. I even dress as if it were 1955. Also the roaring twenties, and a few periods of history that were pivotal - ie, the Renaissance, Byzantine, iron age.. wow, there are SO many!
     
    GNTLGNT, Spideyman and Neesy like this.
  8. Neesy

    Neesy #1 fan (Annie Wilkes cousin) 1st cousin Mom's side

    Welcome to SKMB Dennis
    410CCF1F-C27C-451C-B844-99A4ACEC20DF.jpeg
     
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  9. BearGirl

    BearGirl Well-Known Member

    I wouldn't want to go there permanently, but I would love to go back and be with my kids when they were young again.... like anywhere from infant to 5 years.....
     
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  10. Christine62

    Christine62 Well-Known Member

    I had a moment that defined me--one of many I'm sure. I was 12 going along thinking I was like anyone else and my stepsister told me "We're not supposed to tell you but you're mentally retarded." Apparently 6 years earlier my parents took me to a neurologist because I was slow and clumsy. They diagnosed me with "minimal brain dysfunction"--whatever the heck that was--so this was the reason why I was sent to remedial reading, I wasn't allowed to cross the street by myself or carry my fricking tray at Furr's.

    For years, I thought I was stupid--but I discovered in that in one area I was not--writing. With the writing became my way of changing my past--all those embarrassing experiences, I made them funny--I controlled my story.

    I loved the idea of going back and changing things--especially protecting my children from pain but if we choose we can learn from pain--it makes us wiser, more empathetic and hopefully more able to help others. There's probably a story in that somewhere.
     
  11. Christine62

    Christine62 Well-Known Member



    After I got out of the hospital with my second psychosis--I'm sitting in the car with my 24 year old son. I said that my life was a waste and I didn't do anything great with it.

    He said, and I will never ever forget this:

    "Mom, maybe the great thing you were supposed to do with your life was me and Sissy." I had no words.
     
  12. cat in a bag

    cat in a bag Well-Known Member

    Aww, what a great thing to hear! Treasure that memory! :)
     
  13. DocPain

    DocPain Member

    I'd go to 1986 when I graduated boot camp at RTC Great Lakes. I'd also get the see Stand by Me (and Top Gun) again in the theater for the first time. I'd also know all the right roads to take and low men to avoid for the next three decades.
     
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  14. Kurben

    Kurben The Fool on the Hill

    I'd go way back.... I'd like to see how we really treated the Neanderthals and i would have a talk with a cromagnon man about the real reason for the different cavepaintings. Oh, in my life..... Thats difficult.... I remember an evening after a party when a girli had a crush on asked me to come up but i was too shy (and scared (girls was this big mystery, you know)) to go with her. I was perhaps 17 and it would be interesting to know what would have happened........
     
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  15. doowopgirl

    doowopgirl very avid fan

    That's just human nature. P.ersonally I think we would just do the same things over and over.
     
  16. doowopgirl

    doowopgirl very avid fan

    He hit it right.
     
  17. VampireLily

    VampireLily Vampire Goddess & Consumer of men's souls.

    ....in a hot second.
     
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  18. E.L.D

    E.L.D Active Member

    If I could go back it would be to my freshman year. During my first semester I met a girl that ended up changing me for the better,we were very close friends. After our first semester I had developed feelings for her and asked her out, now whenever we are together there is always this awkward silence replacing the deep conversations we used to have. So if I could go back three years I would stop myself from asking her, that way we could go back to how thing used to be.
     
    do1you9love?, GNTLGNT, Neesy and 3 others like this.
  19. Christine62

    Christine62 Well-Known Member

    Life is short! Write the girl a letter, Man! Express what you are feeling. God if you want to know anything-- most women LOVE a man who can express themselves. If it works GREAT! If not, you gave it your best shot. That's what I would do--of course I'm the kind of person who would love a letter.
     
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  20. thekidd12

    thekidd12 Baseball is a good thing.Always was,always will be

    doowopgirl I think that with the wisdom and or knowledge that comes with age that maybe a person would not do the same things over and over. The way I understood the scenario when you went back you carried all this with you and were not simply placed back to a "life altering" moment. But then again this is all hypothetical and I could be wrong.
     

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